Look out, dandelions

I don't know if it's just me or not; but I have a tendency to look at the bad thing that happened in my day, and call it a bad day, especially when battling depression. 

When I was a kid, I remember hearing a pastor give a sermon.  He held up a white piece of paper with a black dot.  He said, all you probably notice is the dot, but look how small it is compared to the rest of the paper.  So, I guess I'm not alone. 

I have had a time, taking care.  Yesterday I did have a Day Out, I went to the grocery store, and Favorite Dollar.  I got some wooden "wind chimes" - which seem acceptable to the neighbor's dog (rolleyes).  I got the neighbor's dog a squeaky toy, because she had NO toys at all.  She seems to like it. 

These are the incredibly filthy people, so I doubt they even noticed the toy.  I doubt they'd care, anyway. 

I got some driver candy, which I bagged up and started distributing today, and a lot of batteries for the disaster kit.  Pretty much everything wants a AAA battery, and they had a special.  Pretty decent batteries, 8 for $1.  I got several packages.  My MP3 player, and Ron's; and the LED flashlights I like all run on them. 

I also got myself some bubble bath, in a nice rose fragrance.  I am taking care of myself. 

Then I went on a hunt for a water bath canner.  I didn't find it; that night I ordered one online, to be delivered to my Walmart.  I did find some jars at Target. 

I had my handcart, so I got them.  While at the Walmart (all this is on foot and bus), I found some lovely honeysuckle candles.  I liked them a LOT.  I got some tealights, and a little candle in a jar. 

I plan to use the jar candle when I'm taking a nice relaxing bath.  Later on tonight, actually. 

My God time has suffered horribly with the depression, I'm still getting it in there but not the quality or the quantity I'd like.  But then God reminds me he wants my obedience, and my heart.  He can take a very incoherent "burst" of emotion and turn it into a lovely hymn of praise or a powerful intercession.  I just need to keep talking to Him. 

I can only do about half the stuff I "should" be doing, dishes, laundry, etc.  My poor strawberry plants were still outside in their pots, waiting to go in the ground.  I was barely able to get outside and water. 

Anyway, after I hit the stores I went to the liquor store and met Ron.  I got there well before he did.  I got a small (200 ML) bottle of cheap brandy - to make tutti-frutti.  The brandy, fruit, and sugar are layered in a glass container to make a lovely dessert, which also makes a great gift. 

Will I be consuming it?  No.  Will Ron?  Hell, no.  He'd probably love it. 

Will I meet Ron again like I did yesterday?  No.  I feel, now, it's endorsing behavior. 

Anyway, at some point the employees figured out I was with Ron, and they call came out to talk to me (individually).  It was a little odd talking to the people who keep him drunk!  [shrug] 

But I'm sure it's not what they want to do, enable drunks.  They need to eat.  So, I was kind.  It's his fault, not theirs. 

He showed up, went in, and came out with 2 bottles of vodka (about a gallon) around his neck.  His friend called, and I think sarcastically asked Ron why he didn't buy more.  Ron said that was all he could carry.  He was the only one to touch the alcohol. 

His friend offered to help Ron buy more.  [clutching head in hands]   Does he want to kill my husband? 

He does not and will not know about the brandy.  Either of them. 

Now, the last time I drank (a single shot of spiced rum)  I saw giant roaches all over the walls, got very paranoid, and had the anxiety attack from hell.  Alcohol is not happening to me.  I don't even take the cold medicine.  I never drank that much before.  I think living with an alcoholic tends to make the sober partner very cautious around alcohol. 

I think, a few years ago, I had a single low-carb beer, over the course of an hour, while smoking up some meat.  That was it.  I have no desire for more. 

Anyway, we went home.  I checked on the plants and crashed out.  Woke up, had a protien shake (did I mention cooking is a little beyond me now?), and went back to bed. 

This morning we went to work.  Basically, Ron did some financing for the alcohol purchase.  I'm not sure what he did, but he wanted to put some cash into the account.  So, we went to the warehouse, bought some candy for the machines, stocked it, pulled out the bad codes. 

I finally got Ron to cut the sandwich order.  I have been throwing out a lot of expired sandwiches every week.  Per unit, they are the most expensive thing we well, and I was throwing out 2/3 the delivery. 

TALKING didn't work and got Ron very defensive.  So I put them all on the hand cart and asked him to look.  Then I told him these were all the bad ones, and I would be throwing them away.  THEN he went and cut the order. 

"They are buying snacks, and soda, but they're not buying sandwiches." I told him.  "Let's put something else instead".  We will still carry some, but not as much. 

Then we went to the bank, and from the bank, to the mall.  Ron wanted to check the Radio Shack.  I was completely out of gas. 

I woke up with a vicious headache, had to take my exedrin.  I know the medication makes the lithium effects stronger, and I was pretty groggy all day.  All I wanted to do was sleep. 

We ate at the chicken place.  I got meat only.  We had a pretty good ride home, I checked on my plants, and took my nap. 

I had really disturbing nightmares (another depression thing), and woke up.  I have had some physical symptoms, too. 

I put up the trash can, and planted my strawberries.  I had about 6.  It took a while, I was still really tired. 

Ron came out to sit in his chair.  He was very drunk.  He kept ranting about radiation and God's "slowness".  I just uh-huhed and went on with the gardening.  I asked him not to use profanity at one point, because he used the "female dog" term; while the neighbor kids on the back fence were playing in their yard.  He stopped. 

I finished planting the berries.  I sat down next to Ron.  He slumped back in his chair and let his arm fall to the ground.  He began complaining about the grass.  It was "too long"  (about 2.5 inches).  I had to mow.  I had to mow, now. 

I told him "It wasn't very cool" to come out and criticize me, and if he wanted me to talk to him he needed to stop.  He starting yelling. 

I walked around the side of the house and planted my Barbados Cherry, something I have needed to do for weeks now.  He shouted for a few minutes and went back in the house.  I spread mulch on the berries (they love mulch), planted some more beans, planted cucumbers, and then went in the house.  Ron was playing his music, loud. 

So was the guy next door (you could call him the "dog-father" *yuk-yuk*); so I guess the two cancelled each other out.  I checked the mail; nothing. 

I was pretty annoyed at Ron when he was shouting.  I needed room for a strawberry.  I had let a dandelion grow in a garden bed because the greens are good to eat and I like the tea I make from the roots.  It all came to a head and I yanked it. 

I planted the berry, then went into the house and cleaned the dandelion.  I chopped it, got a few mustard greens (boy, those things are HUGE), and washed them too.  Then I put them all in a big pot with some bacon ends. 

I will add a line after I eat them: 
Look out, dandelions. 

They were EXCELLENT.  This is great, because I am TERRIBLE about eating vegetables.  I used too much lemon pepper, but the greens were delightful, tender and crisp. 

I hate "Southern-Style" greens.  They have the consistency and flavor of wet newspaper.  They are boiled for hours until all the nutrition is gone.  These, I simmered for 20 minutes. 

Wonderful. 

Now time for my God time, and bubble bath.