Today was OFF the wierd scale. Off the scale.
Things were pretty tense between Ron and I, this morning. We got up early and went into work.
I was very unhappy that he called the repairman who stole from us, and he didn't like me telling him how to run his business. We did our work regardless. It was kind of an aggravating day, a bunch of dumb complaints like "The Coffee machine won't take my money" - because it was TURNED OFF. And my favorite, "How come your machines were off this weekend?" Because the POWER was out?
Mr. Freebie showed up. I told him, I know how much you make. Do you know that Ron and I make between "Poverty" and "Low Income"? I really resented the whole "Do you have any milk, I need some milk!" I said the machine was full. "Oh, I left my money in my car." "You'd better go get it" Ron replied!
Ugh. Then it was Mr Refund. Everytime he sees us he wants a free - something. Or money, because "The machine ripped me off" I think it would be a lot more honest if he said "I don't want to BUY anything, I want you to give it to me, and while you're at it give me a $5 bill, too." We told him to file for the refund properly and we would pay it promptly. That always stops him.
So, you can imagine I told my dear work friend of several years all about how Ron doesn't appreciate me, etc. He suggested Ron get treatment for depression. I agreed, but Ron refuses. Occasionally this guy will give me a hug, no big deal, I thought. We're all married here, nothing wrong with a harmless hug.
Until today he says "Don't tell Ron" and makes a MOVE! AGH! I said, "Oh, NO, NO, NO" and jumped away from him like someone just lit him on fire! I was shocked and very disappointed.
I ran off, it was almost time to go. I was horrified. Scroll down and read the line where I typed "I respect my marriage!" That would NOT be respecting my marriage! How far was he willing to take it? GACK!
Envision me, if you will, with big ol' bug eyes here. Completely freaked out. I'd rather a MONTH of Ron falling down drunk every night and waking me up, than another encounter like THAT! I keep seeing him all ready to kiss me!
1. I respect God.
2. I respect my marriage.
3. I respect HIS marriage - I've been cheated on, and it sucks. I don't wish that on anyone and I'd never forgive myself if I caused another woman that pain.
4. I am not attracted to him at all, I've never met anyone but Ron with that chemistry.
5. I don't want to see myself as a sl*t.
6. We were at work, in an area that is not that private! I can just see someone walking in on us. It would be all over the plant in 2 minutes!
7. Should be higher up on the list, I respect my husband. If I could change things about him, I would. I'd make him more temperate, devout, easygoing, etc... but he is my husband and I respect him. Those are RON'S rights... not yours.
8. I like his wife, and respect her.
So I go out to the bus stop waiting on our ride. I'm all buggy. I keep seeing him all puckered up and ready to make up... I think it's going to be a bit getting THAT out of my head!
I think this man has some kind of "feelings" for me... and I don't know how to approach this. I have turned it over to God and resolved to be MUCH more careful, what I share. He obviously thought there was an opportunity. I guess if I am annoyed at Ron, I need to just stick to here. [big sigh]
Oh man. Then I'm looking at Ron, who's come outside with me. I prayed about it and tried to figure out what to tell him, if anything. It took me a while to formulate.
I wanted to give him a big hug, tell him how much I loved him, and pour everything out. But that would be serving my needs, not our marriage and not Ron's relationship with this guy (they know each other and Ron likes him).
Ron's love language is acts of service, he feels loved when I am doing things for him. So when we got home I helped him trim the tree out front, and did some weeding and edging. Then we went to Burger King.
As I brought our food to the table, I told Ron I needed to tell him something, but I'd have to be somewhat vague. I realized sharing the name would be very, very, bad.
He said, OK, laughing a little bit. I told him "I love you completely and I am totally committed to our marriage". He just sat there, baffled. He said "What does that mean?" I told him, just what it sounds like. He asked for more detail, as I was too vague.
Have I mentioned Ron is somewhat hearing impaired? And wearing his headphones today?
I told him, but he didn't hear me. So, I repeated it again, loudly, much to the entertainment of the Burger King patrons "Ron, SOMEONE AT WORK MADE A PASS AT ME BUT I SAID NO!"
He said, I bet I know who, it was Jack, wasn't it. He went on for a while about how he knew Jack had his eye on me, and didn't respect our vows. What did it say of Jack's opinion of me, that he thought I would cheat?
I told him, Ron, it would be easy to let you think that but Jack is innocent. Besides, he is interested in someone at his church. I can't tell you, and please don't make me. He got it. Problems if he knew.
"You told him no, right?" OF COURSE, more than once. "Well, he got it then."
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