Last night was really wierd. Our ride to go BACK to work was a little late, but it was a straight trip. I brought my knitting, a flashing light, and a reflective vest. Our friend called and said he couldn't give us a ride home. FORTUNATELY Ron always makes a backup Metrolift trip.
I considered bringing a battery operated lamp or something but figured they would have lighting. Wrong.
I should probably elaborate on the flashing light, though. It is a bit of a raw spot for me, but much less than it was. I had bought 2 for Ron, prior to his accident. It's a very bright, flashing strobe light that straps onto your arm. Designed for joggers. One day I went to pick him up in a cab and I could see the light 1 mile away, in the dark, in the rain. [rolleyes] But in the blaming frenzy after Ron's accident (he had asked not only his family, but a cab driver friend to give him rides to work that day, and all declined) it was decided it was ALL HEATHER'S FAULT. I tried and tried to explain he had the flashing light, he was very careful, he had ASKED you guys for help... but it was "MY" fault. Ron told me once, if you had been with me we would have BOTH been hit. The guy ran a red light. How was I supposed to stop THAT?
Of course I have chosen not to accept the finger-pointing. I am so glad they are out of our lives. I remember one day I brought the remaining flashing light into the waiting room and turning it on in front of Ron's brother. He yelled at me to turn it off. I told him, that's what Ron was wearing. Couldn't you see that?
But the fact remains, Ron HAD asked his brother for help on that day. [sigh] I pray for them every time I do my God time, I don't LIKE it, but I'm mandated to do so. I'm not as outraged and furious as I was. I'm not where I need to be, either. If one of them had an accident or stroke, and needed home care I would not offer to help (assuming they would tell us, which they wouldn't).
Now, as a "Good" Christian I should probably want to take care of his family. I could probably beat myself into it, if my family member who might need a place to stay was "set", the "Spawn" (God forgive me) would recover, and I didn't have to entertain. For the large family member, staying with me would mean embarking on a low-carb diet. I would not allow crap food into my home. I'm not going to watch anyone eat themselves to death, especially if I'm the one caring for you. Just make my job harder!
We actually made that offer with Ron's mother. A woman plagued by obesity and diabetes, she continued to eat "all the wrong things" - a direct quote. She dropped hints once, and Ron informed her we'd be DELIGHTED to have her, but she would be eating low-carb from them on. No rice pot. No sugar. No ice cream. No bread or juice. She declined.
So, I'm still struggling with forgiveness and the flashing light brings it all up again. [sigh] And this post was supposed to be about work!
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