All measures necessary

Well, Ron's decided to wait on the surgery - next June, he thinks. 

I'd feel better about that if he weren't complaining of foot pain.  See, a lot of times (if you don't know this) back pain "refers" or is felt in, the arms, legs, feet, and hands.  It isn't actually felt in the back. 

Ron's back is an actual train wreck, with nerve root "impingement" and all kinds of trouble, but if you ask him he doesn't have a speck of back pain.  Leg and foot pain, however, are a different matter. 

I'm not sure what I want him to do, but I have a feeling "we" will have some sort of crisis, with Ron screaming in agony or can't feel his legs, something like that, and emergency surgery.  I'm not sure if that would be better, or worse, for me in the long run. 

At any rate, I have his hospital bag all done up.  I need to do mine up.  I always carry things I would need at the hospital, and so does Ron.  It's just good sense to carry certain things every day. 

Regarding my hospital bag, I need to buy some of those compact tampons and install those, because sure as hell, a crisis will always come during my period.  I think a Super Plus and a Regular ought to do it.  They come in nice small boxes (not OB, they have a short "stem", that pulls out to become full size).  I should probably throw a bottle of aspirin in there, too.  I go through a fair amount and that's one thing I don't carry in my purse. 

Look at me, always planning for the worst case. 

Ron and I got some breakfast this morning and I talked to him.  I told him, this week, I see us needing to do two, three things.  We need to do the monthly report.  Ron is working on that right now, so I just need to file it tonight and then mail a check tomorrow. 

We need to get the ID cards (the on the phone renewal didn't work for me and Ron made the valid point, if I'm already there with him I might as well do mine).  That means "the driver" will need to act as Ron's attendant and help him through the process while I do mine.  I will fill out as much as possible for Ron. 

So, that meant getting all out papers together.  A lot of them.  I decided to bring my marriage license just in case.  It's very pretty.  Harris County did a good job with it.  I've heard the new ones are even nicer. 

I also threw some "doctor" candy in there (mini sized wrapped candy bars) just in case they will take it.  They may not be able to, what with the whole public servant thing and all. 

I wouldn't want to work at DPS (Department of Public safety), but someone has to do it. 

Last, I told Ron, we need to go to Primary Doc and ask some questions, mainly: what are the risks if Ron waits on surgery?  Also have Doc fill out the paratransit paperwork and "certify" Ron is too crippled to ride the bus by himself.  They don't get much worse than Ron.  Worse, off, I mean. 

Ron is a "good" passenger overall, very nice to the drivers and fellow passengers.  He will complain if the air conditioner vent isn't working, but that's about it. 

OK, I'm going to eat my dinner. 

Well, that was awful.  It was a steak "patty" with mac and cheese.  You may know the brand.  Anyway, the patty was OK.  Red meat's red meat.  The mac and cheese was bland and uninviting.  I got rid or the mac and ate a protein bar instead. 

I woke up with a migraine so I had to wait on my morning pills.  That meant I had to take them with dinner.  AM, PM, a steak patty, and a protein bar.  I hope I don't get sick. 

I took some Excedrin and took my shower, shaved my legs so I don't have to do them at 4 AM tomorrow.  [ugh, I keep belching]

We went out to breakfast and had a pretty good time.  We came home and I took a nap.  I was feeling OK by then. 

I had a pretty good nap, which I see as a good thing.  I'm under a LOT of stress right now and I need to make sleep a priority.  Doc made that really clear during out last appointment. 

If I loved someone who was sick (I do), I would want them to take all measures necessary to take care of themselves.  That means sleep, and protein.  That means prioritizing. 

I aim to take good care of myself.  Not because "Who will take care of Ron if you're sick" - a phrase I heard a lot from my in-laws, and a rather selfish motivation on their part, but because I have my own problems, and they are just as important. 

Ron's family never told me that, they wouldn't even recognize I was disabled, but I was the Designated Lackey and they couldn't have me "down".  Not, at least, until I foiled the nursing home plot with my insistence on taking him home.  Then they planned to have me take care of Ron and his elderly parents - who could do that?  Of course I would burn out and finally succumb to their plans.  I would just have to let myself be evicted, the cats put out on the street, etc. 

God had other plans, which prevailed.  But it taught me a valuable lesson, no one will take care of you except yourself, and God of course. 

So, when he goes in for surgery, I will stay home nights and get my rest, do what I can at work, and love Ron with whatever I have left!