Tuesday, August 30, 2016

All I ever needed was a ride to Walmart

We had a quiet night.  I just had weird dreams about the new washer. 

Apparently you can only buy the "new" kind.  I just hope it does the job for me. 

Facebook has become a bizarre place for me, full of images of Ron's Dad.  I am FB friends with one of Ron's cousins, and a nephew.  They are both putting up a lot of images which end up in my feed, especially as they have so many comments and "likes".  Strange.  I haven't seen the man in years, and now he's everywhere. 

From a salvation standpoint, I just don't know.  He certainly had fruits of the spirit.  But he never told me "Jesus is my savior" so who knows.  I am assuming he is in Heaven.  I am certainly talking that way to Ron, who has talked a little. 

I reminded Ron how much his Dad liked our cats, and Ron said he would enjoy all the ones we had in Heaven.  That was about it for our discussion.  I'm starting to think Ron did all his grieving years ago. 

I am a little sad, I will miss him, I'm really sorry things ended the way they did.  I am sorry his other children made him choose between us.  But, from his perspective, he did the right thing.  We can't even drive.  They (the other kids) could "help" and he made the "logical" decision.  It's still sad, though. 

All this because I wouldn't put Ron in a nursing home.  I tried to tell them, all I ever needed was a ride to Walmart.  That's it.  I didn't need butt wipers, people to bathe Ron, or anything like that.  I didn't even need people to feed Ron, although his Dad did a little.  I just needed people to be there, emotionally, for Ron and me, and to give me the occasional ride to Walmart. 

STUPID.  A whole family wrecked over selfish brats. 

But it happens a lot, I'm told.  Duty battles with selfish, selfish wins, and anyone who opposes the selfish path is made an "It" and blamed for every problem. 


I don't think I have written that word so many times in a blog, ever.  I tell you one thing, I will not be going to that funeral because I would give his siblings holy hell for cutting us out.  Ron was crushed.  He got over it, but they hurt him.  Ron would call it my Mama Bear/Pit Bull side.  I am fiercely protective of Ron. 

I just wish I could "protect" him from alcohol.  [sigh]

Today's a day off, so to speak.  We need to go downtown and do some paratransit procedures to get Ron "recertified".  An evaluator basically has to certify that Ron cannot ride the bus by himself. 

He's blind.  He uses a wheelchair.  Of course he can't. 

In case you were ever wondering, Ron it totally blind.  He can't even see sunlight.  He can feel it on his face but that's it. 

This blog has a very bitter, angry, tone to it.  I didn't realize I was still so angry about Ron's family mistreating him.  I love Ron and would do nearly anything for him, and to know that people who claimed to love Ron not only wouldn't do anything, but actively tried to hurt him, just makes me boil. 

And I can't even talk to Ron about this. 

[sigh]  I'm going to go buy some Bible Promise books.  I want to hand them out at the hospital when Ron has his surgery. 

1 comment:

Spankadoo Hardcastle said...

Please know i feel for you and Ron, my father passed a few years ago, today is his birthday, i was estranged, complicated, anyway ..i had a horrible triggery time with facebook and all the images, i had to step away it was all too much. Take care and our condolences to Ron, it isnt easy, like then end of an era.

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