Monday, August 29, 2016

Ron's Dad died - a ticking blackout

Ron's dad died in a nursing home (I presume, I have very few details).  He was over 90 years old.  He had dementia. 

He was really the only relative of Ron's who was kind to me, after Ron's accident, who actually showed up and tried to help.  He used to feed my cat French fries and boy she loved them.  I never knew that about her.  He was very kind and gentle to me and Ron, but when forced to choose between Ron and his siblings, chose the siblings. 

I suppose he and his wife felt the siblings would be more of a "help".  As it turns out, when the dementia manifested the "kids" put both "Mom and Dad" into a nursing home.  In a bad area, at that. 

Even if I could crawl in Ron's head and see his issues, I wouldn't.  Right now he is stoic but he may have a blackout.  He had a blackout when Bubba died, grieving horribly.  Bubba is the black cat in my photo album. 

I wonder, what does this mean to me?  To his drinking?  I wish I knew, but then again, I don't. 

I slept OK last night and got up early for work.  I wore black shorts and a black t-shirt.  The driver was surprised we were going to work.  When there's a good chance I'll be crawling around on the floor, I'd better have something casual.  I checked all the machines, they didn't need much, helped Ron, he didn't need much, and stocked what I could.  We chatted at the other vendor and conducted business as usual. 

We had a little more time than we needed.  We came home and I took a nap.  Ron woke me up, talking on the phone.  I was furious but confined my "expressions" to shutting his door firmly.  When he got up, I asked him, nicely, to please shut his door if he's going to talk on the phone during my nap. 

We went to the appliance store.  I did a lot of research online, and came to the conclusion that all the washers and dryers offered had bad reviews.  The best I could find was 4 stars at $800 for one.  Even then, it didn't have a lot of reviews. 

I wish I could say I fell in love with One.  Found The One.  Can't say that I did, but I kept getting drawn to one unit.  It has about the same reviews as the others, people either love it or hate it.  Some had problems with it breaking.  Ron's solution to that was the purchase of an extended warranty. 

We got the pair and I hope they are reliable.  We spent nearly a month of my pay.  The salesman was very nice and I am glad he got our commission. 

We left and came home.  I did some housework, made Ron another protein shake, etc. 

He started drinking.  I hope this doesn't end badly.  He was already yelling nonsense at me a couple minutes ago, something about the water bowl (which I already filled). 

I feel like I am listening to a timer ticking down to The Blackout.  If he got that upset over a cat, he's bound to have some strong feelings about his Dad.  I know I would. 

Do I expect a blackout, or hope against hope he will restrain himself? 

Well, I had to tell him.  How awful for Ron if he heard about his Dad from someone else. 


Spankadoo Hardcastle said...

He is beyond reason where alcohol is concerned, orotect yourself, you do you, as you say give him to God. The only thing you can control is what you need to do for yourself to stay atrong, healthy and well
Sending you strength and love
ypu can always call a ctisis line and talk to someone...they are free and just help you make sense of the seemingly senseless dont be afraid to use it oooxxx

Melanie said...

Heather, again, as at RR, I want to my express my sympathy to both of you, and the strength of the God and His Holy Spirit to you, because I know you're going to have your hands full to overflowing, as if they're not already. I just don't know how do what you do already, I really don't, and now this...I wish I could express all the sympathy, and empathy, I feel for you at this time. You must be a Godly woman, to bear with such a full plate already.

More prosaically, if I may, let me tell you that I needed a new washing machine a few months ago, so my husband and I went to Lowe's. He wasn't feeling well, so I rather rushed the process. I accidentally wound up with one of those new-fangled machines, the ones which purport to detect what water level is needed and use only that amount. I am very displeased with it-I can choose the water level I consider necessary, thank you very much, and I never can believe that my laundry is really clean, especially the whites. If DH wasn't sick, I'd have sent it back, but he can't bear the stress of strangers in our home-he was always that way, and moreso now. So I'm working with it, but as soon as I am in a position to do anything, it's gone.

I don't mean to make this about me, just sharing my experience with this type of machine.

You know that you and Ron are in my prayers, and never so fervently as now. May God grant you strength and forbearance sufficient unto each new day, my sister in Christ.

A visit with the parents

So, my Dad's in town.  Along with my adoptive Mom.  Say what you will, she did raise me.  I slept pretty well last night - no noise.  ...