Saturday, May 23, 2015

Sad and Tired

"Why is the floor wet?" 

You peed on it. 

"Why were you mad?" 

You can trash any room in the house during your blackouts.  Any room.  The kitchen.  The front room (boy he got both), the laundry room, the computer room (I found him trying to urinate in my CPU this morning), your room, the bathroom.... any room in the house. 

But mine is off limits.   Stay out of my room. 

He didn't, but I managed to stop him in time. 

What I don't get is the falling down on the tampons, crushing them, throwing them all over like confetti... what's the deal?  Because they go "down there?"  [shaking head] 

Yes, I started my cycle.  I need to keep them in the bathroom so I can use them. 

Apparently that's a problem for him. 

It's ironic.  When I saw the guy across the street was having a party, I worried he might "make noise".  No, HE didn't, but Ron sure did, falling, cursing, banging around.  If we lived in an apartment he would be evicted for disturbing the neighbors. 

As it is, it's a miracle #2 didn't shoot him when Ron went over there every night, banging on the doorbell, shouting about their barking dog -which of course fed the dog's energy into yet more barking. 

Yes, every night.  For months. 

I don't know what I would have done. 

What I do know, he's sitting on the edge of the bed, half naked, verbally abusing me.  I believe he feels I am "judging" him.  He asked me if I thought I was a POS, when I said no he gave me an extensive lecture/tirade.  I finally put my headphones on. 

Apparently, the correct answer was "Yes, I am a POS".  I'm not.  I'm a child of God, He died for me.  I have value and worth. 

Do I think I'm better than anyone?  No. 

Am I judging him?  No. 

I am profoundly sad, and tired. 

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