Thursday, May 7, 2015

Awake and depressed

A day off; depressed. 

I did sleep pretty well. 

Yesterday, I figured out it seems my neighbor is in the yard care business now, and not construction anymore.  I guess the economy took care of that. 

He's back to running his sprinkler against the side of my house, but at least it seems to be happening in the afternoon instead of night, when I'm trying to sleep.  It is very distracting to hear water rushing against the side of my house, remembering the horrible damage said sprinkler + his soccer kids did to my siding, wondering how long until I see that again...

Anyway, I try to focus on positive things.  I got up, shower, God Time.  Ron had an irate voicemail from someone who lost $5 in a vending machine.  When the machine takes money from someone, it shuts down, so we know it's legitimate. 

I was happy to see Ron had taken care of my problem.  Unfortunately, the cats will occasionally bring home a giant roach.  Into my home.  Letting it loose to "play". 

I have baits and try to keep the place clean.  However, I saw a whopper last night.  This morning, though, I realized Ron had run over it with his walker.  I won't tell you how I knew.  I cleaned it up with a disinfecting wipe (love those things). 

Speaking of disinfecting, Ron's ulcer-thing is about the same, no worse, no better.  It isn't as red, and we agree it isn't infected, but it looks hideous.  I've been cleaning it every day, depression nonwithstanding.  We agree the peroxide spray, followed by Benzalkonium chloride spray, seems to at least keep the infection in check. 

Ron agrees he will go to the doctor if needed, so I have that.  I just wish he would learn his lesson.  Unfortunately neuropathic pain and alcohol abuse combine in a perfect storm with the back massager, creating these monsters.  His legs, and the top of one foot, are covered in ugly scars. 

This will sound cruel, but I wish the ulcers hurt.  If he "suffered", he might take it more seriously.  As it is, he just "sees" a big scab on his leg.  He doesn't understand it is serious. 

Anyway, we went to Walmart.  I got a bedskirt for my bed, some other things.  The depression was pretty bad.  I had Ron in the kiddie cart. 

"Heather" he asked me gently "Why don't you get some hot dogs?  Those are easy for you?"  I thought that was a good idea.  I got some buns, and some lentils. 

I plan to experiment with lentils + curry.  I would like to have a few, easy, signature dishes, and a good lentil dish is 90% seasoning. 

I got a nice little ceramic pot for cooking, and opted not to get the bright red ceramic cookware set, because I have very limited cabinet space.  I can store a few baking dishes, a few pans, and that's about it.  My total was very reasonable considering. 

I split our purchases, so Ron could buy his stuff.  Normally I add up his purchases but I was just too tired for it. 

When we got home, I ate some takeout we'd bought, did up my pills for the week, took my pills, and took a nap.  I had a horrible nightmare about someone trying to mutilate my privates.   Even awake and depressed was better than that. 

The cats are good, Ron's good.  We work tomorrow but not long. 

I just need to remember to mail the water bill. 

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