I slept pretty good, with those handsome kitties you saw in the photo (if you're sighted). I got up, got ready, got Ron ready.
Ron was in a bad mood so I decided to leave my Christmas stuff at home. I would require his assistance in moving it. Generally he is good about it but I don't like to push it.
We got to work and began stocking. I did my usual help Ron first. We finished up all that work and then they brought in a podium, tables, and a speaker system. Someone was going to make a speech. I took Ron out in the quiet hallway and left him there. He was very grateful.
They were doing a fund raising drive. I can only speak to myself but I prefer to give privately. A speech is not going to make me donate, it will probably put my back up. It was ironic, as I was writing about this elsewhere Ron was calling Salvation Army to come and get some coats I don't want anymore (don't fit). So, I give - but I don't like an audience. I don't even keep the gift receipt. I had to stand, stocking, and listen to one person after another give speeches on the subject.
One thing I found a little eeky - they wanted the donor to write their social security number on the form. I wouldn't be doing that. That's the nice thing about doing an autopay over the phone or online - all they want is the credit card number.
They also wanted the non-donors to fill out the form and write a big X on it to indicate they would not be donating. That just seems a little personal to me.
But what do I know. I stocked quickly and we headed out pretty early. We came home and Ron got his computer. But he hasn't heard from the computer guy so he doesn't want to go to the store. I had a headache and took some Excedrin. Ron told me to take a nap but that is not happening with Excedrin - not unless I had a migraine, which I don't. This is a mild to moderate, and the pills chased it off.
Ron is asleep right now with Baby Girl, and I am at my computer waiting for either the computer guy to call or 2 PM to come along so we can go get some Waffle House. I may watch some TV, I'm not sure.
I'll keep you posted.
4 comments:
Every time people start to tell you to take action on Ron, Ron is painted in a better light again, as in this post. Him allowing you to take a nap, calling Salvation Army to make a donation or “being ‘grateful’” you wheeled him in the hall doesn’t absolve him of the horrid things he’s done to you nor does it even count for ANYTHING. The readers aren’t fooled.
I just try to paint an honest picture. Ron isn't unaware of his impact on me when he's toxic. He knows too much and I will burn out and flee. That's the last thing he wants, so he tries to compensate.
I asked him to call Salvation Army about the coats, I am sure someone needs them and they are just sitting in a bag in my garage. He was VERY grateful I got him away from all the speeches and put him in the hall - I figured after all the speeches he has endured this month it was the least I could do. He appreciated it.
I'm not saying it makes him a totally good guy - no one is totally good, but it does paint a more complex picture.
It is a very complex picture and I know first hand you can not see how damaging it actually is until you remove yourself from that family picture and look back. As long as you are in it making the best of it and looking for what is good in it? Survival mode.
When you are mentally ill in a toxic relationship it is hard to piece what is “ok” and not “ok” especially if you have been with this person during your “formative” years as you and I both were.
Anonymous above has no idea what living in DV is actually like . People like that tend to victim blame and that delays anyone getting help . Nothing you have ever done in your life ..including staying with Ron warrants the abuse he inflicts on you. He is a narcissistic man and blaming you for his pain and calling you out as crazy or damaged is on him not on you. He is mean ! You know that. But you are “in” the picture . Like you said it is a “more complex picture “ every action had a reaction OOOXXX
With all due respect, you don’t actually know that Anonymous “has no idea what living with DV is actually like”. You don’t kno2 my life or anything about me to make an assumption like that, or to say that I am victim blaming. I’ve read enough of your comments to see that you coddle heather. I have been reading Heathers posts for a very long time. I absolutely do not “victim blame” her but feel like I want to reach through the computer screen and empower her to make a change because I thjnk she’s worth it and wish she felt the same way. Not all comments are mean to be “mean”. I would love nothing more than to log on here one day and see that Heather left that $&@))& and is making a better life for herself. Because SHE CAN.
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