A really bad call

Just making a note here to talk about how my parents actually threw me at Ron, after we met. 

A little background, we need to go back to 1991.  I was in a program for emotionally disturbed students, we met in a portable trailer on school grounds, well away from the other kids.  I was acting out, so I understand why I ended up there. 

It's what they did with me after I got there.  Back then, computers were very expensive, and they kept talking about how they were going to get a computer for the program.  I will add here, they had a very nice computer lab on school grounds, I am certain they could have gotten access, if they wanted.

They kept nagging me to get a job.  I was an emotional mess, I didn't think that was a good idea.  But they kept pushing it and, finally, during one of my "meetings" (IEP or something) they said they were taking me out of the business class I loved and putting me in a "work study" program. 

No one who had entered the work study program had been hired.  They all had too many issues.  One guy in the program bragged that, when he had been in there, he had spit on the food.  But my parents, and my teachers, united and forced me into the program against my will.  To make themselves look better "We put Heather into a work program, tried to get her employment". 

Remember that - I didn't want to go, I was forced.

So I was uprooted from my business class (which came in handy when Ron started the business), and put in this class.  Even more mortifying for a teenager, I had to ride the short bus to the restaurant, with two slow kids.  It was quite embarrassing for a teenager. 

I excelled in the program and was the first student hired out of the entire program.  I didn't think it was a big deal, I just did my job.  I like working with the public, and I like feeding people. 

There was a man next to me on the other register.  He was in the management training program.  His name was Ron.  We hit it off immediately and talked when we weren't working.  He would buy me lunch and gave me his calling card number so I could call him. 

Our relationship progressed, but, fresh with the glow of success at "getting" me hired, they didn't notice.  My Dad once commented that getting a job had really done wonders for my mood.  He had no idea what was going on in the park, after work. 

The program didn't like Ron, they were going to "teach me to ride the bus".  I told Ron about it since he rode the bus.  He scoffed at the idea and quickly explained riding the bus to me.  The next day, I went out and did it on my own with no instruction.  So they lost a big star they could have put in my file, thanks to Ron - I told them he was the one who told me. 

About that time, they had another meeting.  I should have seen it coming.  The program didn't "let" kids graduate on time, they had the kids work an extra semester and then do a "private" graduation where a school official handed over the diploma.  This happened with 2 other kids I remember. 

In my case, they planned to wait until I was 18 (September, after I was supposed to graduate) and file a request for a computer based on my alleged "Visual difficulties".  They were quite proud of the fact they were going to use me to get a very expensive computer.  They also planned to get me disability, housing, and Medicare so I would happily live off the system for the rest of my life. 

But they simply said I wasn't "emotionally ready" to graduate, the same crap they pulled on the other kids.  I was crushed, and went into a horrible depression. 

Everyone became very worried.  I had been on antidepressants for years, but they didn't help (because I was bipolar, duh), but they had taken me off them the year before.  So I was left to deal with crippling depression on my own.  It was horrible.  Ron was the only one who could cheer me up. 

Now, about this time, we got "caught".  So they knew we were romantically involved.  At first my parents (Dad in particular) did exactly what you would expect and said "No way in hell". 

After I got depressed they realized they had taken Ron at the same time I had just been given a heavy blow. 

So they made a decision: to give him back.  I will let you think about that for a minute.  They feel Ron is a sexual predator, he is a 37 year old man after a 17 year old girl.  He hasn't stopped when told and threatened with prison. 

Let's take a disturbed teenage girl and give her unlimited access to him. 

Think about that for a minute. 





Unlimited access. 

I am still working on forgiving them for that.  I think they (she at least) only did it because Ron was fixed.  She had a very good idea what was going on.  Dad knew we were "involved" but not how much. 

So I had months of access to Ron.  He was the one who talked me off the ledge when I passed out at work on graduation night.  They answered the phone when he called and immediately told me it was him.  A 37 year old man with a sexual interest.   Go ahead and talk for an hour. 

In the meantime, my birthmother, when told about the arrangement, almost had a seizure.  It is sad to realize the "crazy" woman in all of this had the clearest sight. 

But they felt (and he was) 'Helping" and he was going to keep me out of that expensive mental hospital. 

We ran around for months, the depression lifted (it always does, I remind myself when it's bad), and Dad brought the hammer down.  No more contact or he would have Ron sent to prison. 

But this is after months of liberty.  By then, I was bonded.  So we snuck around after that.  It was an open secret with my stepmother, but, like I said, I don't think she cared because he couldn't get me pregnant. 

You know the rest of the story, I ran off with Ron the day after I turned 18.  Here we are today. 

But I have been thinking about my parents throwing me at him, after proclaiming he was a sexual predator, for a while lately.  Wondering where we would be today if they had kept the hard line of saying "NO" and chasing him off.  It wouldn't have been hard to monitor me. 

I know they cared, but I have to say I think it was a really bad call. 

PS - the program did not get the computer.