A long day

Monday we went to work, pretty standard stuff.  Ron kept accusing me of "being a bad communicator".  I seem to communicate just fine with him everywhere but work, with other people all the time, and in the blog, so I think he has a harder time processing what I say, at work. 

I blame the pain pills for that.  They do affect reasoning and memory, says so right in the side effects.  They have been a pretty nasty blow to him, he's still getting used to it.  I can live with the memory problems but there's a lot of lashing out at me. 

So that was Monday. 

Tuesday he got his infusion.  It went pretty fast this time.  I was lazy and brought a vial of b-12 and a syringe to the office, and she gave Ron the injection.  The nurse had a lot of trouble getting the solution out of the vial, I felt quite vindicated.  It's not just me, who has problems. 

We came home, took a nap, went to Walmart.  I had to get my pills.  I did that and got some groceries and some other things we needed. 

We went to bed early, got up at 2 this morning for our soda delivery.  Now, before I say anything else, it has been my observation, since Keurig bought Dr Pepper the delivery has switched to between 8 and 9 AM.  It used to come between 6 and 7.  Ron has had a hard time accepting that and still schedules trips as if they're going to come at 6:30.  They don't, they come between 8 and nine.  Even worse, he scheduled our pickup at 9. 

So we went to work.  First of all we rode around forever picking people up.  One made a big production out of "trying to sleep" on the van.  It's public transit, that's not going to happen.  If you want more sleep go to bed earlier.  She gets a disability check and lives with her mother, she is not carrying the weight of bills or even a lot of responsibilities in life. 

We dropped her and then we went to work.  I helped Ron, did my stocking, etc.  8 AM.  No delivery.  I told him, between 8 and 9.  Ron began having hysterics and verbally attacking me. 

Long story short, the delivery came at 8:30.  There were a lot of problems with it and I had to send half of it back.  We put everything away and ran out the door just in time for our pickup.  Ron was very upset. 

I reminded him he's not going to change the company.  The only thing he can do is change his pickup next time - to 10.  He agreed.  Wow, for once he listened to me. 

We went to the bank, I got paid, a week late (the conference really messed things up).  We went home. 

I took a nap, had a pretty good one, but woke up with a headache.  I took something and got up.  Ron was screaming in pain again.  I taped the magnets onto him and he did what he felt would help the pain, all the while savagely attacking me because I am going to dinner tomorrow at my aunt's house. 

She invited him as well, but he said no.  He wants to stay home and feel sorry for himself.  He tried every trick in the book to make me "bleed" emotionally.  I just turned him off.  I knew he was in physical pain, and lashing out as a result of that, also hurting emotionally because his family abandoned him - but neither is an excuse to come after the only person who loves him. 

It's the old "You won't leave so I can treat you like crap" routine.  I hear a lot of people do it.  It sucks.  I don't attack him when I have a migraine.  At most, I ask him to bring me some water or empty my bucket. 

I didn't appreciate him using me as his verbal punching bag.  All of this between shots of vodka and screaming in agony. 

Our ride came to take us to get dinner.  I didn't cancel because 1.  He wanted me to get upset and cancel, then it's not "his" fault and I am even more of a bad guy because 2.  He would have been penalized if he canceled late.  and 3.  I am vindictive enough to say after what you put me through today you owe me some dinner. 

I really didn't want eat dinner out of a can. 

So we went.  He was in a bad mood and cursed at the driver, but she (freely) told us her deceased husband was an alcoholic so she was (implied) used to that kind of behavior.  She managed to cheer him up by the time we got dropped. 

Then Ron did a complete 180 and did his best to be cute, endearing, and adorable while we ate.  Then it was back to "surly" and shouting in pain. 

We got home.  He drank some more and went to bed.  He is still cursing and angry but not shouting, or attacking me. 

I plan to go to bed early tonight.  It's been a long day.