Day 3. Ron was pretty quiet day 1 and 2. I vomited a lot, into my bucket. Even the roots of my teeth hurt.
I have been taking my phenergan, with mixed results, but last night I was able to keep down about a liter, total, of water. I consider that good.
This morning, though, my weight was down about 10 pounds from the last time I weighed. So I need more fluids.
I have been sipping, alternating, gatorade and plain water. My body seems to like plain water the best.
Pretty standard migraine. Incredible headache and vomiting, nausea. One-sided (although it switched sides, yesterday). Tired but can't sleep.
Ron had a blackout last night, kept screaming for me. I ignored him as long as I could. He thought he was stuck in the garage and "wanted to get in the house" even though he was sitting right there in the kitchen. I wasn't very nice, I slapped his hand on the fridge and asked "Do you know what this is?" No. "It's the fridge, you're in the kitchen. I HAVE A MIGRAINE SO LEAVE ME ALONE!" And I went back bed. He was quiet after that, and eventually found his way to bed.
Ugh. I feel miserable. I am waiting for the afternoon to go back to bed, the sun is too bright in my bedroom. My deodorant is doing a really good job,and the cats have been very cuddly (Torbie and Biscuit, at least).
I'm going to have to go back to work tomorrow but I am hoping my headache will be gone by then. The worst migraines I've ever had have lasted 3 days each.
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Day 2
Day 2, migraine.
Keeping small amount of water down. Had some applesauce. Oh, my head is killing me.
Keeping small amount of water down. Had some applesauce. Oh, my head is killing me.
Monday, January 29, 2018
Sunday, January 28, 2018
I have to let him fall
So Ron acted like a drunken sot this morning, getting up at 8 to start drinking, then passing out in the wheelchair. I decided to ignore him and do my usual morning routine.
I took my shower, but I had a problem. My tampon was stuck. I have been having some light spotting for about a week after my period, so I use light duty tampons. Even that was too much, apparently. I had a heck of a time getting it out and will be using light duty pads instead. I don't want to go through that drama again.
Yesterday, my hair could best be described as a bristly mess. I used the 2 in 1 shampoo today, with conditioner in it.
I climbed out of the shower and went and did my God Time. Still working on Job, pretty depressing stuff. I'm on chapter 38 I think, so not too far to go.
After God Time, I decided to try to take a nap. I couldn't sleep, too restless. I finally got up around 1. Ron was awake again. And drinking.
I didn't want to stay in the house, so I got dressed and got my bus pass. Let me go put it back. Done. I forgot to bring some Driver candy, which I regret. I walked to the bus stop, talking to my aunt. I told her exactly what Ron said to the waitress. My aunt was pretty shocked. It is nice to have someone to listen.
She had to go and that was OK. I waited on the bus, remembering the day I found Biscuit. He came out of the woods at me and climbed me like a tree. Then he sat on my shoulder as I stood by a very busy street, waiting on the bus. He sat up there like some kind of fashion accessory until the bus came, then he tried to board. He is so cute.
The bus came and I boarded. A young man was flirting with the driver, who was old enough to be his grandma. Maybe he likes older women.
I got off at my stop and walked over to McDonald's. I had brought my PM medication so I could take it with my food. I asked if the ice cream machine was working. One employee started to say no, but the other one said yes. Evil! Teasing me! I grinned at her. I ordered a double cheeseburger, just ketchup; fries, and a vanilla shake. I ate about half the fries and then finished the cheeseburger. I took my pills and then drank my shake.
After that I walked over to the Kroger. I am not a big fan of Kroger as the ones I've shopped have generally been in marginal areas, and had quality control issues. As a result, I wouldn't, and didn't, buy anything perishable from the store. I walked from one end to the other. I picked out a few things, all told, they cost $14. I didn't get anything heavy (not unless you count the 20 ounce Diet Dr Pepper), so it was easy to carry home.
I am curious to try the red curry paste with some lentils. It seems I could put a tablespoon in the lentils as they cook and get an interesting flavor. We will see. First I have to get up the energy to cook. But I have it, if the mood strikes me.
I like lentils. I like the flavor, the high protein and fiber, and the fact that they cook in less than an hour. Shorter if I soak them, first. Everyone says "don't soak your lentils" but if you do they cook even faster.
I also got a dark chocolate bar with a photo of a panther on it. It reminded me of Bubba (my black cat). I will enjoy that when I get hungry, later.
I paid and left, waited on the bus about 5 minutes. They built a proper bus stop outside the Krogers so it is a nice wait now. A lot of cigarette butts, though. It's against the law to smoke at a bus stop, they're lucky they didn't get a ticket.
Got on, had a pretty uneventful ride except for a near-collision with a guy in front of us driving "stupid". Got off the bus, came home. Baby Girl ran to greet me at the door.
The house looked OK. Ron was passed out in bed with his phone in his hand. I looked up our trips for tomorrow, he made a trip home from work but not a ride to work. Al-anon says "don't rescue" so I won't. He can deal with the consequences when he wakes up. He will either have to pay $40 for a cab, or take a penalty mark. Enough penalty marks they stop your service.
Only 25 minutes 'till the deadline. He had better hope he wakes up. He set an alarm, but turned it off when it went off.
I have to let him fall. That is probably the hardest part of the whole thing.
In the meantime, I will do my best to have a good day. I got some sun and fresh air, had a little trip, nothing too crazy, bought a few things I needed.
The weather was very nice, sunny, mild breeze, just about 70 degrees. So a good day to go out. I love that we get this kind of weather in January. Sure, we get apocalyptic sleet storms that shut the city down, but more often, we get really nice, mild, weather.
Biscuit is lying on my foot. I'm thirsty so I'm going to make up some drink mix.
I am still having nightmares on the new Depakote so I plan to call my doctor tomorrow.
I took my shower, but I had a problem. My tampon was stuck. I have been having some light spotting for about a week after my period, so I use light duty tampons. Even that was too much, apparently. I had a heck of a time getting it out and will be using light duty pads instead. I don't want to go through that drama again.
Yesterday, my hair could best be described as a bristly mess. I used the 2 in 1 shampoo today, with conditioner in it.
I climbed out of the shower and went and did my God Time. Still working on Job, pretty depressing stuff. I'm on chapter 38 I think, so not too far to go.
After God Time, I decided to try to take a nap. I couldn't sleep, too restless. I finally got up around 1. Ron was awake again. And drinking.
I didn't want to stay in the house, so I got dressed and got my bus pass. Let me go put it back. Done. I forgot to bring some Driver candy, which I regret. I walked to the bus stop, talking to my aunt. I told her exactly what Ron said to the waitress. My aunt was pretty shocked. It is nice to have someone to listen.
She had to go and that was OK. I waited on the bus, remembering the day I found Biscuit. He came out of the woods at me and climbed me like a tree. Then he sat on my shoulder as I stood by a very busy street, waiting on the bus. He sat up there like some kind of fashion accessory until the bus came, then he tried to board. He is so cute.
The bus came and I boarded. A young man was flirting with the driver, who was old enough to be his grandma. Maybe he likes older women.
I got off at my stop and walked over to McDonald's. I had brought my PM medication so I could take it with my food. I asked if the ice cream machine was working. One employee started to say no, but the other one said yes. Evil! Teasing me! I grinned at her. I ordered a double cheeseburger, just ketchup; fries, and a vanilla shake. I ate about half the fries and then finished the cheeseburger. I took my pills and then drank my shake.
After that I walked over to the Kroger. I am not a big fan of Kroger as the ones I've shopped have generally been in marginal areas, and had quality control issues. As a result, I wouldn't, and didn't, buy anything perishable from the store. I walked from one end to the other. I picked out a few things, all told, they cost $14. I didn't get anything heavy (not unless you count the 20 ounce Diet Dr Pepper), so it was easy to carry home.
I am curious to try the red curry paste with some lentils. It seems I could put a tablespoon in the lentils as they cook and get an interesting flavor. We will see. First I have to get up the energy to cook. But I have it, if the mood strikes me.
I like lentils. I like the flavor, the high protein and fiber, and the fact that they cook in less than an hour. Shorter if I soak them, first. Everyone says "don't soak your lentils" but if you do they cook even faster.
I also got a dark chocolate bar with a photo of a panther on it. It reminded me of Bubba (my black cat). I will enjoy that when I get hungry, later.
I paid and left, waited on the bus about 5 minutes. They built a proper bus stop outside the Krogers so it is a nice wait now. A lot of cigarette butts, though. It's against the law to smoke at a bus stop, they're lucky they didn't get a ticket.
Got on, had a pretty uneventful ride except for a near-collision with a guy in front of us driving "stupid". Got off the bus, came home. Baby Girl ran to greet me at the door.
The house looked OK. Ron was passed out in bed with his phone in his hand. I looked up our trips for tomorrow, he made a trip home from work but not a ride to work. Al-anon says "don't rescue" so I won't. He can deal with the consequences when he wakes up. He will either have to pay $40 for a cab, or take a penalty mark. Enough penalty marks they stop your service.
Only 25 minutes 'till the deadline. He had better hope he wakes up. He set an alarm, but turned it off when it went off.
I have to let him fall. That is probably the hardest part of the whole thing.
In the meantime, I will do my best to have a good day. I got some sun and fresh air, had a little trip, nothing too crazy, bought a few things I needed.
The weather was very nice, sunny, mild breeze, just about 70 degrees. So a good day to go out. I love that we get this kind of weather in January. Sure, we get apocalyptic sleet storms that shut the city down, but more often, we get really nice, mild, weather.
Biscuit is lying on my foot. I'm thirsty so I'm going to make up some drink mix.
I am still having nightmares on the new Depakote so I plan to call my doctor tomorrow.
Difficult morning
Ron woke me up a couple of times last night, talking. It's like he can't figure it wakes me up. He's just talking, what am I yelling at him for?
One time he was petting Biscuit. I wouldn't have minded that but the yelling "Biscuit! Big white kitty! Biscuit!" was a bit much.
#7 did have their party, but it was quiet. That's what I like about #7, they have quiet parties.
I slept long enough but I had nightmares. I actually had a nightmare about my Depakote.
I have a very mild headache but I am pretty sure the Diet Mountain Dew will take care of that. When he got up this morning, Ron began knocking things over and getting an attitude when I called him on it.
I just said "If you're going to knock something over, please pick it up". He went in the kitchen and started drinking, verbally abusive. I am going to have to do all my stuff around him, sitting in the wheelchair, in the kitchen.
Fortunately I keep the protein bars beside my chair.
One time he was petting Biscuit. I wouldn't have minded that but the yelling "Biscuit! Big white kitty! Biscuit!" was a bit much.
#7 did have their party, but it was quiet. That's what I like about #7, they have quiet parties.
I slept long enough but I had nightmares. I actually had a nightmare about my Depakote.
I have a very mild headache but I am pretty sure the Diet Mountain Dew will take care of that. When he got up this morning, Ron began knocking things over and getting an attitude when I called him on it.
I just said "If you're going to knock something over, please pick it up". He went in the kitchen and started drinking, verbally abusive. I am going to have to do all my stuff around him, sitting in the wheelchair, in the kitchen.
Fortunately I keep the protein bars beside my chair.
Saturday, January 27, 2018
"Zero tolerance"
I am so angry right now. I slept horribly, nightmares. Got up, went to the warehouse. Got our supplies, unloaded in the pouring rain (Jack was a very good sport). Didn't have enough time to do all my work so I helped Ron and mailed my health insurance.
Came home, took a nap. Woke up, Ron was drinking "I can't remember if I took my Tylenol so I will just drink my back pain away" he said. Well, that was the gist of it. He had several drinks while I watched.
He was pretty drunk when the ride arrived to take us to dinner. He could barely get from the wheelchair to the seat. ("Transfer") He almost fell a couple of times. We got to the Taqueria. Unfortunately, Ron's "girlfriend" was there. He proceeded to make even more inappropriate comments to her, just really awful sex stuff. She just laughed, she could tell he was drunk.
But wait, he wants 2 more beers. She brought them. He drank them. I couldn't get him to eat. He finally had a few bites of my food and ate some chips and salsa. He proceeded to get salsa on his shirt. I will have to wash it tomorrow, when he is sober enough to take it off.
It wasn't a good meal. I took my pills, wondering if my "new" Depakote is going to give me more nightmares tonight. I sure hope not.
Our ride came to go home. It was a big van. Ron wanted to transfer to a regular seat, but, again, almost fell a couple of times. He finally got in the seat. The driver took it in stride. Maybe she didn't smell the fumes. Maybe she did and was just exceedingly polite. She was very professional, regardless. Just the right amount of help.
We got home. Someone had parked in front of our house. Someone on the block (I think #7) is having a party tonight. The driver could barely squeeze in front of our driveway. Ron, again, had great difficulty getting into his wheelchair. But he finally made it. We unloaded.
He wouldn't pick up his feet so I kept catching them. Then he would yell at me. Not fun. I got him in the house and started taking him to his bedroom. He objected, he wanted to go "in the kitchen" read: more vodka. I shut the door to the garage and fed the cats. Then I cleaned their boxes. I had to ask Ron to move, twice. He decided he was better off back in his bedroom, and went. I heard him cursing as he tried to get into bed. Apparently he made it because I didn't hear any thumps.
I am just so sick and disgusted. It's bad enough he is an alcoholic, does he have to show the world? It is humiliating being seen in public with him when he's drunk. Then all the rude sex comments to the waitress. She was nice about it but that's the kind of "zero tolerance" crap that will get someone banned from a restaurant.
I feel like things are just going to get worse and worse until he has ruined both our lives. I sure hope I'm wrong.
And Biscuit has flopped on the floor at my feet. He'll take care of all my needs, love, food (he likes to bring me things from the catio, like snakes), etc. He will live with me under the overpass when Ron loses the business.
I just want to slap him (Ron, not Biscuit), but it wouldn't do any good and would provoke extreme violence in return. If I could impart one thing: He's not just impacting his life, but mine. I deserve better than this.
I really wish I could have done a bright and cheery post. But sometimes my life just isn't like that. I am discouraged and angry but at least I'm not depressed right now. I just have to gear up for my "one week of spotting after my period" thing I've been doing lately. But that's nothing.
I hope you have a better weekend.
Came home, took a nap. Woke up, Ron was drinking "I can't remember if I took my Tylenol so I will just drink my back pain away" he said. Well, that was the gist of it. He had several drinks while I watched.
He was pretty drunk when the ride arrived to take us to dinner. He could barely get from the wheelchair to the seat. ("Transfer") He almost fell a couple of times. We got to the Taqueria. Unfortunately, Ron's "girlfriend" was there. He proceeded to make even more inappropriate comments to her, just really awful sex stuff. She just laughed, she could tell he was drunk.
But wait, he wants 2 more beers. She brought them. He drank them. I couldn't get him to eat. He finally had a few bites of my food and ate some chips and salsa. He proceeded to get salsa on his shirt. I will have to wash it tomorrow, when he is sober enough to take it off.
It wasn't a good meal. I took my pills, wondering if my "new" Depakote is going to give me more nightmares tonight. I sure hope not.
Our ride came to go home. It was a big van. Ron wanted to transfer to a regular seat, but, again, almost fell a couple of times. He finally got in the seat. The driver took it in stride. Maybe she didn't smell the fumes. Maybe she did and was just exceedingly polite. She was very professional, regardless. Just the right amount of help.
We got home. Someone had parked in front of our house. Someone on the block (I think #7) is having a party tonight. The driver could barely squeeze in front of our driveway. Ron, again, had great difficulty getting into his wheelchair. But he finally made it. We unloaded.
He wouldn't pick up his feet so I kept catching them. Then he would yell at me. Not fun. I got him in the house and started taking him to his bedroom. He objected, he wanted to go "in the kitchen" read: more vodka. I shut the door to the garage and fed the cats. Then I cleaned their boxes. I had to ask Ron to move, twice. He decided he was better off back in his bedroom, and went. I heard him cursing as he tried to get into bed. Apparently he made it because I didn't hear any thumps.
I am just so sick and disgusted. It's bad enough he is an alcoholic, does he have to show the world? It is humiliating being seen in public with him when he's drunk. Then all the rude sex comments to the waitress. She was nice about it but that's the kind of "zero tolerance" crap that will get someone banned from a restaurant.
I feel like things are just going to get worse and worse until he has ruined both our lives. I sure hope I'm wrong.
And Biscuit has flopped on the floor at my feet. He'll take care of all my needs, love, food (he likes to bring me things from the catio, like snakes), etc. He will live with me under the overpass when Ron loses the business.
I just want to slap him (Ron, not Biscuit), but it wouldn't do any good and would provoke extreme violence in return. If I could impart one thing: He's not just impacting his life, but mine. I deserve better than this.
I really wish I could have done a bright and cheery post. But sometimes my life just isn't like that. I am discouraged and angry but at least I'm not depressed right now. I just have to gear up for my "one week of spotting after my period" thing I've been doing lately. But that's nothing.
I hope you have a better weekend.
Friday, January 26, 2018
Thursday/Friday
I just couldn't get up yesterday, so I slept in a little later and went straight to work. After feeding Biscuit and Baby Girl, of course.
Baby Girl has a new hobby, sleeping in the bathroom sink. A lot of cats will do that but this is the first time in 5 years for her. She is a good fit.
Our ride came, it's a driver we like. He said we would be riding for a while and he wasn't wrong. He already had a client on board. We took her to the doctor. She got there early but they had a bench outside and it was a safe place to wait, they had a security guard too.
Then we picked up our next client. She was "limited" and rather annoying. Reminds me how others must have found me, now then then, when I was manic, back in the day. She wasn't manic but she kept relating these horrible tragedies and laughing about it. "Someone got carjacked! Ha ha ha! They pointed a gun at his head! Ha ha ha! Giggle, giggle! Someone got murdered!" It was very taxing.
She was also told by someone she would go to prison if she didn't vote. Makes me wonder who was that desperate for votes that they'd bully her like that. She was pretty worried until the driver talked some sense.
We finally got to work. She wanted to know what days we had off, I had to explain we are independent. I don't think she really got it. I told her about the average hours for the typical staring employee - 12 hour nights, six days a week. She wasn't interested after that. Not that they would have hired her anyway, you have to pass at least one test to be hired.
We got out and went in the building. The outer door is still broken. It's very annoying. They just have it blocked off with a "door broken" sign on it. We had used this door to bring our merchandise into the building, but not anymore! Lucky Jack and I have a pretty good system for getting the goods inside.
The inner, security door, still works. I have to badge my way into that door.
We got to work, we didn't have much time. Ron had planned on paratransit picking us up and taking us straight, yesterday they rode us around for over an hour. So, we basically lost an hour out of our work time. I managed to do my work and help Ron with his, but we cut it pretty close.
For some reason, paratransit called us a private cab to go home. A wheelchair cab showed up and took us home. He did a good job securing the wheelchair.
I took a nap, I was still pretty beat. When I got up Ron let on that he was engaging in yet another addictive behavior (not a chemical). I was disappointed and pissed. He wanted me to "help". I said hell no, I will not. He said I was "mean". "Wasn't hurting anyone" etc. I still said no.
He said he shouldn't have told me. I told him I had already figured it out from his behavior. I reminded him that he knew I wasn't going to help him with this. We had a rather tense dinner.
I ate and took my pills. Then I went to bed.
I had some nightmares. In one, I was hitting someone (not Ron) over and over in the head, I couldn't figure out why. I woke up and went to get a glass of water, but there was something in the sink. It meowed at me. Baby Girl. I went back to bed.
I woke up around 9 and got online, did my posts. Checked Facebook.
Now I will check my blood sugar, drink my Diet Mountain Dew, eat my protein bar (grimace) and do my God Time. Ron didn't want to go anywhere today, which looks to have been a mistake. Someone near us is running a compressor and he finds it really annoying. He should have made a trip.
Oh, well, live and learn.
Edit: they finally stopped around noon.
I forgot to tell you about Biscuit last night. When we came home, he ran out in the garage. We only open the door to the house when the garage door is down. I left him in there to explore and did my thing. I was busy on the computer when I heard him crying to be let in. I didn't want to get up, so I told Ron to "Open the garage door". I meant "Door to the garage". He took out his remote and opened the garage door. I yelled at him and he stopped it.
I then went out into the garage. The door was open a couple of feet. Biscuit was cowering in the back. I finished closing the door. He cowered even more. Thank God he is scared of the garage door motor.
I called him, he came, and I picked him up. He purred at me but didn't get into bed last night. I guess he was still pretty freaked.
And I've learned, the next time Biscuit wants to come in I need to get up and let him in myself.
- End update
Baby Girl has a new hobby, sleeping in the bathroom sink. A lot of cats will do that but this is the first time in 5 years for her. She is a good fit.
Our ride came, it's a driver we like. He said we would be riding for a while and he wasn't wrong. He already had a client on board. We took her to the doctor. She got there early but they had a bench outside and it was a safe place to wait, they had a security guard too.
Then we picked up our next client. She was "limited" and rather annoying. Reminds me how others must have found me, now then then, when I was manic, back in the day. She wasn't manic but she kept relating these horrible tragedies and laughing about it. "Someone got carjacked! Ha ha ha! They pointed a gun at his head! Ha ha ha! Giggle, giggle! Someone got murdered!" It was very taxing.
She was also told by someone she would go to prison if she didn't vote. Makes me wonder who was that desperate for votes that they'd bully her like that. She was pretty worried until the driver talked some sense.
We finally got to work. She wanted to know what days we had off, I had to explain we are independent. I don't think she really got it. I told her about the average hours for the typical staring employee - 12 hour nights, six days a week. She wasn't interested after that. Not that they would have hired her anyway, you have to pass at least one test to be hired.
We got out and went in the building. The outer door is still broken. It's very annoying. They just have it blocked off with a "door broken" sign on it. We had used this door to bring our merchandise into the building, but not anymore! Lucky Jack and I have a pretty good system for getting the goods inside.
The inner, security door, still works. I have to badge my way into that door.
We got to work, we didn't have much time. Ron had planned on paratransit picking us up and taking us straight, yesterday they rode us around for over an hour. So, we basically lost an hour out of our work time. I managed to do my work and help Ron with his, but we cut it pretty close.
For some reason, paratransit called us a private cab to go home. A wheelchair cab showed up and took us home. He did a good job securing the wheelchair.
I took a nap, I was still pretty beat. When I got up Ron let on that he was engaging in yet another addictive behavior (not a chemical). I was disappointed and pissed. He wanted me to "help". I said hell no, I will not. He said I was "mean". "Wasn't hurting anyone" etc. I still said no.
He said he shouldn't have told me. I told him I had already figured it out from his behavior. I reminded him that he knew I wasn't going to help him with this. We had a rather tense dinner.
I ate and took my pills. Then I went to bed.
I had some nightmares. In one, I was hitting someone (not Ron) over and over in the head, I couldn't figure out why. I woke up and went to get a glass of water, but there was something in the sink. It meowed at me. Baby Girl. I went back to bed.
I woke up around 9 and got online, did my posts. Checked Facebook.
Now I will check my blood sugar, drink my Diet Mountain Dew, eat my protein bar (grimace) and do my God Time. Ron didn't want to go anywhere today, which looks to have been a mistake. Someone near us is running a compressor and he finds it really annoying. He should have made a trip.
Oh, well, live and learn.
Edit: they finally stopped around noon.
I forgot to tell you about Biscuit last night. When we came home, he ran out in the garage. We only open the door to the house when the garage door is down. I left him in there to explore and did my thing. I was busy on the computer when I heard him crying to be let in. I didn't want to get up, so I told Ron to "Open the garage door". I meant "Door to the garage". He took out his remote and opened the garage door. I yelled at him and he stopped it.
I then went out into the garage. The door was open a couple of feet. Biscuit was cowering in the back. I finished closing the door. He cowered even more. Thank God he is scared of the garage door motor.
I called him, he came, and I picked him up. He purred at me but didn't get into bed last night. I guess he was still pretty freaked.
And I've learned, the next time Biscuit wants to come in I need to get up and let him in myself.
- End update
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
"Buy yourself some underwear"
Ugh. I wish I could say today went better than it did, but it wasn't a bad day.
I went to bed early, got up around 8. I will do my God Time later, I took my shower. Since my favorite pair of jeans were in the dryer, still wet, I got my second pair (I only have the 2 long jeans because we just don't get that much cold weather) and wore them, instead.
We were going to the taqueria about 2 miles away. 2 miles from the house, tops. And our ride was nearly an hour late. Ron was livid, and made a bunch of angry calls to paratransit.
We finally arrived at the restaurant. The waitress is a really sweet gal, a hugger, who I like a lot. She came over and got Ron his beer. I got a Diet Coke with lime in it. It's a long story but Ron doesn't like lime in his beer. They were sitting there in a little cup on the table so I put them in my Diet Coke. Now she brings me limes for my diet Coke. Told you it was a long story.
I ordered a couple of breakfast tacos. They have fantastic bacon and the bacon and egg taco is very good. I got 3, with corn tortillas.
Ron got chilaquiles, norteno style. I am not sure what is different with the nortenos but Ron loves it, whatever it is. Sometimes, especially with ethnic food, it's best not to ask "What's in this?" and just enjoy your food.
Ron got sauce on his shirt, then dripped beans on his fanny pack. I am looking forward to that bib, let me tell you. It should come today.
Ron worked on that for a while. The waitress came over a few times. Ron's hands were filthy so I paid (and he paid me back, later). I left a tip on the table, a pretty good one but not too crazy. We didn't need much once she got us set up.
The next time she came by, I gave her the tip (I don't like to leave cash on the table, especially with the amount of homeless in the neighborhood), and Ron gave her an extra $5. He kept asking where she was, after that.
I don't know if you are familiar with food service but waitresses have to do "side work" (chores) in addition to the regular work of waiting tables. This is permissable by labor law, as long as she is getting enough in tips to at least equal minimum wage (my understanding). So, she was doing her other work.
She finally came by and Ron gave her a $20. I didn't have a problem with that. It is hard work, and she works long days, over 8 hours, on her feet, running around. Most customers are not good tippers.
Then Ron told her to buy herself some new underwear. I was horrified. She laughed and gave him a hug, putting the money away. Oh, Ron, you're going to kill me one day.
That's the kind of comment that could get us banned from the restaurant. Fortunately she took it in good humor. She has probably heard worse. But still, it was awful. I told her I was sorry, she said it was OK. Then she left.
She didn't come back.
When I wanted a refill, I had to get up and go to the counter, not that I blame her. And I had just given everyone candy with Scripture booklets. Way to ruin my witness.
Although it might make me more sympathetic. I don't know, but I'm not happy.
I told Ron "I'm getting a good glimpse of what to expect when the dementia comes" and he laughed. It wouldn't have done any good to yell at him. He would have liked it, and felt more "outrageous". He likes being an outlier.
They brought me my quesadilla to go, and pretty soon after that the ride home showed up (also very late). They are bound and determined to ruin our brunches.
We went home. Ron told the driver what he had told the waitress. She was pretty horrified as well. Then Ron asked her how many kids she had and had she had them natural or not. Nunya business! She didn't tell him.
I don't know what is going on with Ron lately but I hope this behavior does not extend to work. That could get us thrown out and banned from the program.
We came home and I put my food away, then took a nap. I had a hard time because Torbie was occupying the center of my bed. I tried to lay "around" her but that didn't work very well. I finally had to move her. She let out the saddest meow of protest, it broke my heart. But I needed to sleep! After I went to sleep she came back and laid in her "usual" (left lower) part of the bed. . That worked. Biscuit came running by a few times on his way to and from the condo I have situated next to the bed.
I did get a little sleep, but I woke up with a headache. It wasn't the tacos, but I wonder if it was the limes in my Diet Coke? That would make sense. Maybe some pesticide on the rinds or something. Happily, a couple of aspirin and a cold Diet Dr Pepper managed to fix the problem.
I am currently doing 2 loads of laundry. I will have Ron help me hang up his clothes. He puts them on the hanger and then I put them in the closet. I want to get one of those "lower to the ground" closet bars that hang off the top bar, so Ron can hang up his clothes independently.
Sometimes, I wonder, if he lived on his own, how much help would he need? How many people, how many hours a week? What am I "worth"? I don't think he would need a nursing home but he might, because he wouldn't be able to get out to his paratransit if he lived somewhere else.
It doesn't matter, I am here. I am glad I don't have a poker face, I show all my emotions, and the waitress today got to see my shock and horror at Ron's comment. It's funny - I had a comment about Ron on yesterday but I couldn't post it (a little hostile). That reader is really going to freak over today.
Tomorrow we got to work, but not for long. Things just aren't that busy for us. I'm glad I got Ron to reduce the sandwich order, I was getting tired of throwing out unbought, expired, sandwiches every week.
Off I go to do my God Time.
I went to bed early, got up around 8. I will do my God Time later, I took my shower. Since my favorite pair of jeans were in the dryer, still wet, I got my second pair (I only have the 2 long jeans because we just don't get that much cold weather) and wore them, instead.
We were going to the taqueria about 2 miles away. 2 miles from the house, tops. And our ride was nearly an hour late. Ron was livid, and made a bunch of angry calls to paratransit.
We finally arrived at the restaurant. The waitress is a really sweet gal, a hugger, who I like a lot. She came over and got Ron his beer. I got a Diet Coke with lime in it. It's a long story but Ron doesn't like lime in his beer. They were sitting there in a little cup on the table so I put them in my Diet Coke. Now she brings me limes for my diet Coke. Told you it was a long story.
I ordered a couple of breakfast tacos. They have fantastic bacon and the bacon and egg taco is very good. I got 3, with corn tortillas.
Ron got chilaquiles, norteno style. I am not sure what is different with the nortenos but Ron loves it, whatever it is. Sometimes, especially with ethnic food, it's best not to ask "What's in this?" and just enjoy your food.
Ron got sauce on his shirt, then dripped beans on his fanny pack. I am looking forward to that bib, let me tell you. It should come today.
Ron worked on that for a while. The waitress came over a few times. Ron's hands were filthy so I paid (and he paid me back, later). I left a tip on the table, a pretty good one but not too crazy. We didn't need much once she got us set up.
The next time she came by, I gave her the tip (I don't like to leave cash on the table, especially with the amount of homeless in the neighborhood), and Ron gave her an extra $5. He kept asking where she was, after that.
I don't know if you are familiar with food service but waitresses have to do "side work" (chores) in addition to the regular work of waiting tables. This is permissable by labor law, as long as she is getting enough in tips to at least equal minimum wage (my understanding). So, she was doing her other work.
She finally came by and Ron gave her a $20. I didn't have a problem with that. It is hard work, and she works long days, over 8 hours, on her feet, running around. Most customers are not good tippers.
Then Ron told her to buy herself some new underwear. I was horrified. She laughed and gave him a hug, putting the money away. Oh, Ron, you're going to kill me one day.
That's the kind of comment that could get us banned from the restaurant. Fortunately she took it in good humor. She has probably heard worse. But still, it was awful. I told her I was sorry, she said it was OK. Then she left.
She didn't come back.
When I wanted a refill, I had to get up and go to the counter, not that I blame her. And I had just given everyone candy with Scripture booklets. Way to ruin my witness.
Although it might make me more sympathetic. I don't know, but I'm not happy.
I told Ron "I'm getting a good glimpse of what to expect when the dementia comes" and he laughed. It wouldn't have done any good to yell at him. He would have liked it, and felt more "outrageous". He likes being an outlier.
They brought me my quesadilla to go, and pretty soon after that the ride home showed up (also very late). They are bound and determined to ruin our brunches.
We went home. Ron told the driver what he had told the waitress. She was pretty horrified as well. Then Ron asked her how many kids she had and had she had them natural or not. Nunya business! She didn't tell him.
I don't know what is going on with Ron lately but I hope this behavior does not extend to work. That could get us thrown out and banned from the program.
We came home and I put my food away, then took a nap. I had a hard time because Torbie was occupying the center of my bed. I tried to lay "around" her but that didn't work very well. I finally had to move her. She let out the saddest meow of protest, it broke my heart. But I needed to sleep! After I went to sleep she came back and laid in her "usual" (left lower) part of the bed. . That worked. Biscuit came running by a few times on his way to and from the condo I have situated next to the bed.
I did get a little sleep, but I woke up with a headache. It wasn't the tacos, but I wonder if it was the limes in my Diet Coke? That would make sense. Maybe some pesticide on the rinds or something. Happily, a couple of aspirin and a cold Diet Dr Pepper managed to fix the problem.
I am currently doing 2 loads of laundry. I will have Ron help me hang up his clothes. He puts them on the hanger and then I put them in the closet. I want to get one of those "lower to the ground" closet bars that hang off the top bar, so Ron can hang up his clothes independently.
Sometimes, I wonder, if he lived on his own, how much help would he need? How many people, how many hours a week? What am I "worth"? I don't think he would need a nursing home but he might, because he wouldn't be able to get out to his paratransit if he lived somewhere else.
It doesn't matter, I am here. I am glad I don't have a poker face, I show all my emotions, and the waitress today got to see my shock and horror at Ron's comment. It's funny - I had a comment about Ron on yesterday but I couldn't post it (a little hostile). That reader is really going to freak over today.
Tomorrow we got to work, but not for long. Things just aren't that busy for us. I'm glad I got Ron to reduce the sandwich order, I was getting tired of throwing out unbought, expired, sandwiches every week.
Off I go to do my God Time.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Party mix
I had nightmares. I didn't sleep well. I had to get up at 3.
I was actually supposed to get up at 1:45, but I had forgotten to set my alarm. So I got up late and ran around getting ready.
We went to work, sales were dead. Ron complained about getting up early for Dr Pepper. Dr Pepper was later, but not late. We got our delivery and put it away, paid the man.
Ron just asked me to describe how some women look to him. I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing that. He wasn't terribly surprised at my answer.
He wanted to know for impure reasons, I believe, not out of honest curiosity. I don't feed that, ever. We had enough troubles with Ron cheating in the past, I am not about to feed anything that looks like that now. I didn't get into all that with him, I just said I didn't feel comfortable telling him. He left it alone after that.
He did ask if the other women's butts were as big as mine. I told him I don't look at women that way. And I don't.
Back to my day. We had to go to the bank again, lugging yet another jar of quarters. Ron had wanted to make one trip with 2 jars, but I told him no way. They are very heavy, at least 40 pounds each, and I'm not wrecking my back for the business.
Ron told me I got paid to help him. I told him "Not that much!" We went and made our deposit, we also took some $1's, made a deposit there, paid back savings (we had borrowed). I had already been paid so that didn't happen.
We came home and I took a nap. I was pretty tired. I got up, did some computer, got some dinner. I was pretty tired (well, I got up at 3!) so I went to bed early.
I had more nightmares. I am starting to think it might be the new Depakote formulation. They weren't as bad, though, so I have hopes it will just taper off.
I got up, took my shower. Ron needed some help this morning, he can't stand up straight anymore, it's his back. Damned surgery didn't work. This can happen. Anyway, he needed help and I gave it. He apologized for "being a burden" and I told him "I married you after the accident, knowing what to expect. If I wasn't in it for the long haul I wouldn't have married you. I don't mind helping you." Not quite true, if I am doing something else and he yells for me I get impatient, but I'm a human being.
Ron was feeling very affectionate as a result, something I haven't seen much of with the drinking. He asked me to find him a Kiddie cart when we got to Walmart. I had to dig it out, but I got one.
I helped him transfer to the cart and then lifted the wheelchair into the basket. "Wow, you're strong!" Ron boasted as I did it. I won't tell him I smacked myself in the leg, leaving a bruise (not a bad one). Living with Ron really helps me to value everything working in my body. It's sad but true, I'm good from the neck down. Neck up, I have a lot of issues, but neck down I am good to go.
We had fun rolling all over the store. We got the wet wipes (using those rascals in the bathroom really cut my bladder infections), we got Ron antacid. We got Glucosamine for him, and aspirin for me. We went to the candy section.
I already had plenty of taffy. Walmart has a really good store brand taffy in a blue bag. If you like taffy, get some. It is only $2 and you get a lot in a bag. I ate one once and it was really good (it was improperly wrapped and I couldn't hand it out, but that's the only "defect" I found in a couple bags of taffy). I wanted caramels, the little squares. I got those, and I got the gum. And then I saw it: Party Mix candy. I had been talking to Ron about this the other day, how I used to put a handful in each bag, how Sam's used to sell a huge sack of them for about $7, etc. And here they were. They were a smaller bag, of course, and more expensive. That's to be expected. I told Ron about the contents and asked his opinion. He said, get them, so I did.
Now, shopping, I didn't have a lot of room in the cart due to the wheelchair. The wheelchair took up about half the shopping cart space. But we managed to fill it with the stuff we needed, exciting things like toilet paper and such. We didn't get anything for the cats because they have plenty of food and litter.
I got ready to check out and Ron gave me some money. I thanked him and used it to pay. Thanks to his love offering I still have about half my pay, and that's after the health insurance deposit.
That always sucks, making that deposit. It's so much, and what do I get back? I give them $420 and I get back $120 discount on my pills. I'm still in the hole $300. But I pay it because if I don't, I'll need it, and like Dad says, even though I have a high deductible the company has negotiated lower rates for common procedures I might need (stitches, broken bone, stuff like that). So I did it.
Then I went to McDonald's. I am not generally a fan of their food, but, if pressed, I will buy and eat a double cheeseburger, ketchup only. I did that.
Ron had talked me into buying him some Stax potato chips. Actually, he asked me to get him "Those delicious chips you shared with me, last time". So I got us each a can. $1.18 and makes for some very good eating. Full of chemicals, but not greasy.
Ron ate some of his chips while I murdered my cheeseburger and took my morning medication. We waited on our cab.
The next part of my day is controversial. I am sure I will get yelled at over this.
The driver who came to get us is the same driver who buys Ron vodka. Ron was "out" of vodka (however much that means). He asked the driver to get him some vodka on the way home. The driver said, the Spec's is way out of the way, pointing in the opposite direction of our house. Ron said, go anyway. It was going to be a hefty cab fare if this happened.
So I said, there's another one, closer, and gave him directions. Yes, I know. Enabling. But I saw it as helping the cab driver and keeping our bill down, I didn't see it as enabling Ron. Ron was getting it regardless, I just made it a little cheaper.
The cab driver came out with 5, 1.75 liter plastic bottles and one, smaller, glass bottle. "They didn't have six". Ron and I did not like the concept of him with a glass bottle, but Ron said "I have a funnel and an empty plastic bottle at home". So he poured it (I didn't help) and threw away the glass bottle. Actually, I threw it away. I have no problem throwing away empty booze bottles. It's just bringing in the full ones.
The cab driver understood that I was happy to help with the wheelchair (but he got it) and the groceries (he would have gotten them, but I did it), but I did not want to deal with the vodka. So he took it in the garage and set it down. Ron paid him and tipped him generously.
We went in the garage. I took out the garbage can (comes tomorrow) and I closed the garage door. Ron found the vodka and got the glass bottle for management. I took the groceries in the house and put them away. Ron, when I finished, went in and poured the glass bottle into the plastic one, then gave me the bottle for disposal. He probably had some of the vodka but I don't monitor. Al-anon says don't monitor the drinking, so I don't.
I was unhappy to note something on my way into our garage, #6, his gate open, all his folding tables set up in the yard for a party. Then he played loud Mexican music (before and after he did that, the neighborhood was totally quiet) for a couple of hours while he set up and "mowed the yard". After the freeze, all the grass is dead. I don't know why he would mow, but he always tries to clean up the yard before a party (understandable, if annoying).
I had wanted to take a nap, but found it very difficult with the loud music, commercials in Spanish (he was playing a radio), etc. I still lay down. It is better to get 15% rest then no rest. Torbie got up on the bed and wanted some petting. She lay down on a pillow next to me (sort of a body pillow) and purred as I pet her. We had a good time. I asked her to please come visit me like this at night, and she looked at me with "I'll do what I want, thank you, Heather" very clearly written in her eyes.
He finally shut up (#6) and I got a little rest. I got up and wrote a diatribe on one of my message boards about illegals. I am not a fan. I have lived, literally with (one year sharing a house) or around Mexicans for nearly 30 years, and what I have seen has not impressed me. On the other hand, I love African immigrants, they have totally impressed me with their compassion, respect for American culture, hard work ethic, humor, etc. They assimilate, and learn the language. They don't expect Americans to learn their language, they learn English. They respect the disabled and the aged, unlike some people who like to have loud, late-night parties even with said older (Ron was about 58 at the time), disabled people literally begging them to turn it down so we could work tomorrow. No contest. If we can only have so many, let them be the Africans.
That finished, I ate my remaining hamburger (I always get one for dinner, when I go to Walmart) with some chips, and ran a load of clothes for Ron. He gets a lot of stains on his clothes. We have solved that by ordering him a bib. He is fine with this, and has asked me about it repeatedly. I kind of hesitated because it feels like crossing a threshold "And then he needed a bib" and what else is coming?! But I finally ordered it because he's right, not having one makes a lot more work for me. It's just a step. But there have been many such steps in my marriage. First, there was the long white cane. He always had that. Then it was the wheelchair, commode chair, and shower chair. He graduated from those to independently using a walker. Then it was into the wheelchair again (thank God still able to use the toilet and all), then back to the walker. And again, now stopped at the wheelchair.
A couple of years ago, when Ron was doing much better, I offered to buy him a cane, and he said under no circumstances, absolutely not. To him a cane meant he was "old". It's funny, I told him, you have no problems using a wheelchair.
"It's different" he said, and it is. Getting the bib just means admitting I have a messy eater, and he's always been that.
You know what we ate on our first date? Nachos. Talk about messy He had cheese sauce in his mustache (he wore one, back then). I don't think he got it on his clothes but it wasn't for lack of trying.
It didn't faze me, and it doesn't. The, using the, bib won't, but it feels like a huge step toward admitting he is "worse".
Physically, he is. Nothing I can do about that, but Ron has decided, on his own, to do some physical therapy exercises on his own. They sure can't hurt.
All I can really do is stay healthy so I can take care of him. Happily I haven't had to pick him off the floor in years. If he falls when drunk, I don't even bother to pick him up, it's too hard and he gets violent. So I don't. He just wakes up on the floor realizing he had a blackout. But one time, right after I got him home from the hospital, sober, he fell on the floor, trying to turn himself around in bed. He kept saying his feet felt higher than his head, I kept telling him the bed was flat. I heard a thump and woke up to Ron hanging off the side of the bed. I got him back into bed.
Another time, a few months later, he fell trying to walk into the bedroom and couldn't get up. I got him. It does make me glad I'm 20 years younger than him. He was sober then, too.
He really didn't start drinking again until he came back to himself 100%, and that was several months later. I kind of liked the first guy, he was sweet, appreciative, and never drank. But I didn't get to keep him.
But Ron talks a lot about how skinny I used to be when we met. I was about 120. That was a while back!
Anyway, that's it for now. So far no party so I guess they aren't having it tonight. I think it's supposed to rain this weekend so maybe they will have it indoor on Saturday night. They nearly always have their parties on Saturday night.
I was actually supposed to get up at 1:45, but I had forgotten to set my alarm. So I got up late and ran around getting ready.
We went to work, sales were dead. Ron complained about getting up early for Dr Pepper. Dr Pepper was later, but not late. We got our delivery and put it away, paid the man.
Ron just asked me to describe how some women look to him. I told him I didn't feel comfortable doing that. He wasn't terribly surprised at my answer.
He wanted to know for impure reasons, I believe, not out of honest curiosity. I don't feed that, ever. We had enough troubles with Ron cheating in the past, I am not about to feed anything that looks like that now. I didn't get into all that with him, I just said I didn't feel comfortable telling him. He left it alone after that.
He did ask if the other women's butts were as big as mine. I told him I don't look at women that way. And I don't.
Back to my day. We had to go to the bank again, lugging yet another jar of quarters. Ron had wanted to make one trip with 2 jars, but I told him no way. They are very heavy, at least 40 pounds each, and I'm not wrecking my back for the business.
Ron told me I got paid to help him. I told him "Not that much!" We went and made our deposit, we also took some $1's, made a deposit there, paid back savings (we had borrowed). I had already been paid so that didn't happen.
We came home and I took a nap. I was pretty tired. I got up, did some computer, got some dinner. I was pretty tired (well, I got up at 3!) so I went to bed early.
I had more nightmares. I am starting to think it might be the new Depakote formulation. They weren't as bad, though, so I have hopes it will just taper off.
I got up, took my shower. Ron needed some help this morning, he can't stand up straight anymore, it's his back. Damned surgery didn't work. This can happen. Anyway, he needed help and I gave it. He apologized for "being a burden" and I told him "I married you after the accident, knowing what to expect. If I wasn't in it for the long haul I wouldn't have married you. I don't mind helping you." Not quite true, if I am doing something else and he yells for me I get impatient, but I'm a human being.
Ron was feeling very affectionate as a result, something I haven't seen much of with the drinking. He asked me to find him a Kiddie cart when we got to Walmart. I had to dig it out, but I got one.
I helped him transfer to the cart and then lifted the wheelchair into the basket. "Wow, you're strong!" Ron boasted as I did it. I won't tell him I smacked myself in the leg, leaving a bruise (not a bad one). Living with Ron really helps me to value everything working in my body. It's sad but true, I'm good from the neck down. Neck up, I have a lot of issues, but neck down I am good to go.
We had fun rolling all over the store. We got the wet wipes (using those rascals in the bathroom really cut my bladder infections), we got Ron antacid. We got Glucosamine for him, and aspirin for me. We went to the candy section.
I already had plenty of taffy. Walmart has a really good store brand taffy in a blue bag. If you like taffy, get some. It is only $2 and you get a lot in a bag. I ate one once and it was really good (it was improperly wrapped and I couldn't hand it out, but that's the only "defect" I found in a couple bags of taffy). I wanted caramels, the little squares. I got those, and I got the gum. And then I saw it: Party Mix candy. I had been talking to Ron about this the other day, how I used to put a handful in each bag, how Sam's used to sell a huge sack of them for about $7, etc. And here they were. They were a smaller bag, of course, and more expensive. That's to be expected. I told Ron about the contents and asked his opinion. He said, get them, so I did.
Now, shopping, I didn't have a lot of room in the cart due to the wheelchair. The wheelchair took up about half the shopping cart space. But we managed to fill it with the stuff we needed, exciting things like toilet paper and such. We didn't get anything for the cats because they have plenty of food and litter.
I got ready to check out and Ron gave me some money. I thanked him and used it to pay. Thanks to his love offering I still have about half my pay, and that's after the health insurance deposit.
That always sucks, making that deposit. It's so much, and what do I get back? I give them $420 and I get back $120 discount on my pills. I'm still in the hole $300. But I pay it because if I don't, I'll need it, and like Dad says, even though I have a high deductible the company has negotiated lower rates for common procedures I might need (stitches, broken bone, stuff like that). So I did it.
Then I went to McDonald's. I am not generally a fan of their food, but, if pressed, I will buy and eat a double cheeseburger, ketchup only. I did that.
Ron had talked me into buying him some Stax potato chips. Actually, he asked me to get him "Those delicious chips you shared with me, last time". So I got us each a can. $1.18 and makes for some very good eating. Full of chemicals, but not greasy.
Ron ate some of his chips while I murdered my cheeseburger and took my morning medication. We waited on our cab.
The next part of my day is controversial. I am sure I will get yelled at over this.
The driver who came to get us is the same driver who buys Ron vodka. Ron was "out" of vodka (however much that means). He asked the driver to get him some vodka on the way home. The driver said, the Spec's is way out of the way, pointing in the opposite direction of our house. Ron said, go anyway. It was going to be a hefty cab fare if this happened.
So I said, there's another one, closer, and gave him directions. Yes, I know. Enabling. But I saw it as helping the cab driver and keeping our bill down, I didn't see it as enabling Ron. Ron was getting it regardless, I just made it a little cheaper.
The cab driver came out with 5, 1.75 liter plastic bottles and one, smaller, glass bottle. "They didn't have six". Ron and I did not like the concept of him with a glass bottle, but Ron said "I have a funnel and an empty plastic bottle at home". So he poured it (I didn't help) and threw away the glass bottle. Actually, I threw it away. I have no problem throwing away empty booze bottles. It's just bringing in the full ones.
The cab driver understood that I was happy to help with the wheelchair (but he got it) and the groceries (he would have gotten them, but I did it), but I did not want to deal with the vodka. So he took it in the garage and set it down. Ron paid him and tipped him generously.
We went in the garage. I took out the garbage can (comes tomorrow) and I closed the garage door. Ron found the vodka and got the glass bottle for management. I took the groceries in the house and put them away. Ron, when I finished, went in and poured the glass bottle into the plastic one, then gave me the bottle for disposal. He probably had some of the vodka but I don't monitor. Al-anon says don't monitor the drinking, so I don't.
I was unhappy to note something on my way into our garage, #6, his gate open, all his folding tables set up in the yard for a party. Then he played loud Mexican music (before and after he did that, the neighborhood was totally quiet) for a couple of hours while he set up and "mowed the yard". After the freeze, all the grass is dead. I don't know why he would mow, but he always tries to clean up the yard before a party (understandable, if annoying).
I had wanted to take a nap, but found it very difficult with the loud music, commercials in Spanish (he was playing a radio), etc. I still lay down. It is better to get 15% rest then no rest. Torbie got up on the bed and wanted some petting. She lay down on a pillow next to me (sort of a body pillow) and purred as I pet her. We had a good time. I asked her to please come visit me like this at night, and she looked at me with "I'll do what I want, thank you, Heather" very clearly written in her eyes.
He finally shut up (#6) and I got a little rest. I got up and wrote a diatribe on one of my message boards about illegals. I am not a fan. I have lived, literally with (one year sharing a house) or around Mexicans for nearly 30 years, and what I have seen has not impressed me. On the other hand, I love African immigrants, they have totally impressed me with their compassion, respect for American culture, hard work ethic, humor, etc. They assimilate, and learn the language. They don't expect Americans to learn their language, they learn English. They respect the disabled and the aged, unlike some people who like to have loud, late-night parties even with said older (Ron was about 58 at the time), disabled people literally begging them to turn it down so we could work tomorrow. No contest. If we can only have so many, let them be the Africans.
That finished, I ate my remaining hamburger (I always get one for dinner, when I go to Walmart) with some chips, and ran a load of clothes for Ron. He gets a lot of stains on his clothes. We have solved that by ordering him a bib. He is fine with this, and has asked me about it repeatedly. I kind of hesitated because it feels like crossing a threshold "And then he needed a bib" and what else is coming?! But I finally ordered it because he's right, not having one makes a lot more work for me. It's just a step. But there have been many such steps in my marriage. First, there was the long white cane. He always had that. Then it was the wheelchair, commode chair, and shower chair. He graduated from those to independently using a walker. Then it was into the wheelchair again (thank God still able to use the toilet and all), then back to the walker. And again, now stopped at the wheelchair.
A couple of years ago, when Ron was doing much better, I offered to buy him a cane, and he said under no circumstances, absolutely not. To him a cane meant he was "old". It's funny, I told him, you have no problems using a wheelchair.
"It's different" he said, and it is. Getting the bib just means admitting I have a messy eater, and he's always been that.
You know what we ate on our first date? Nachos. Talk about messy He had cheese sauce in his mustache (he wore one, back then). I don't think he got it on his clothes but it wasn't for lack of trying.
It didn't faze me, and it doesn't. The, using the, bib won't, but it feels like a huge step toward admitting he is "worse".
Physically, he is. Nothing I can do about that, but Ron has decided, on his own, to do some physical therapy exercises on his own. They sure can't hurt.
All I can really do is stay healthy so I can take care of him. Happily I haven't had to pick him off the floor in years. If he falls when drunk, I don't even bother to pick him up, it's too hard and he gets violent. So I don't. He just wakes up on the floor realizing he had a blackout. But one time, right after I got him home from the hospital, sober, he fell on the floor, trying to turn himself around in bed. He kept saying his feet felt higher than his head, I kept telling him the bed was flat. I heard a thump and woke up to Ron hanging off the side of the bed. I got him back into bed.
Another time, a few months later, he fell trying to walk into the bedroom and couldn't get up. I got him. It does make me glad I'm 20 years younger than him. He was sober then, too.
He really didn't start drinking again until he came back to himself 100%, and that was several months later. I kind of liked the first guy, he was sweet, appreciative, and never drank. But I didn't get to keep him.
But Ron talks a lot about how skinny I used to be when we met. I was about 120. That was a while back!
Anyway, that's it for now. So far no party so I guess they aren't having it tonight. I think it's supposed to rain this weekend so maybe they will have it indoor on Saturday night. They nearly always have their parties on Saturday night.
Monday, January 22, 2018
What a Monday
Nightmares. Messed up the alarm. At work now - everyone came in sick. Got all my work done and waiting on Dr Pepper. Ron's complaining. Ugh, what a Monday
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Good little pancreas
Saturday was pretty standard, we went to the warehouse, got our inventory, and went to work. I mailed sales tax.
A note on the sales tax. A few years ago Doc had adjusted my medication. I filled out the sales tax and mailed it. What I do is fill out a short form (It's actually called "The Short Form") with the information Ron gives me, then fill out a check with the amount, sign and date it, mail it off to Austin.
Anyway, the check didn't clear, all those years ago. Ron got worried, then he got a phone call from a man in "Reconciliations". Apparently I had filled out everything, even written the account number on the check, but had failed to fill out the amount. So, I sent them a signed, blank, check.
The man couldn't understand how this could happen, until Ron explained, crazy wife, new medication, very sorry. They sent it back to us to correct and we didn't get a penalty. He was very nice about it.
But, it made me realize, some days I may need to delay taking my medication. So I didn't take my Wellbutrin first thing. It makes me stupid, it makes my hands shake. Ever tried to fill out a form with shaking hands? Or fill out a check? Very frustrating.
I took my medication after I had mailed the check, and I double and triple checked that I had done everything correctly. Then we went to the bank. We had (hidden in a bag) a large jar of quarters, which would pay a portion of the sales tax. We did a "coin dump" and deposited it into the account. This can be done if you are an account holder and the coins are sorted.
After that we went home and tried to take a nap, but #7 was building a new fence. He is probably the "Joneses" everyone's trying to keep up with. He just put new siding and paint about a year ago, built a huge covered patio in the back, now a new fence. It was supposed to rain this weekend (it never did) so I was surprised he would have his crew working in it, especially as it wasn't an emergency. They were very slow.
We went to dinner and came back, I was pretty wiped out, and went to bed early.
I was tired, I slept in until 9. Someone was riding around in a vehicle, playing the stereo loudly, just circling the block again and again erratically. No way to sic the police on them even if they would come for that, so I just had to deal with it.
Biscuit got in my bed, purring at me, nipping my fingers. I got up to feed him. No food, wet or dry. They ate everything last night. I fed him both mediums and brushed my teeth.
I also discovered I'd started my cycle. It was 5 days late, I was starting to wonder if it was going to show up. I wondered about things like my risk of heart disease going up in menopause, and my odds of weight loss going down. It's been pretty heavy today so it's making up for lost time.
Just another sign I am in my 40's and can expect menopause pretty soon. Yesterday I decided to start working out with the weights again, but then I had to bring the garbage can into the garage.
Oh, I forgot to tell you. I went to take out the trash and Torbie got out when I opened the door to re enter the house. I scooped her up (she didn't go far) and had a blanket in my arms as well, I had used it to cover the jasmine during the cold snap (although the jasmine seems fine). I went into the house and Biscuit kept trying to get out. I had to push him, forcefully, with the side of my foot to ensure he'd stay in the house. I felt terrible about it. I don't ever want to touch my babies in frustration, but I did.
So Ron and I talked about it and he made the good suggestion to just put the garbage can back in the garage. I can throw away anything without the cats getting out. If they get into the garage, and they do regularly, they just come back in the house. I thought that was (and still do) a good idea, and did it.
But now I can't get to my weights. They are in the back of the garage. I think I will work on making a path. We have tons of work crap in the garage right now and I would love to get rid of it.
But working out with weights can only be a good thing for me. I will need to figure out a time of course, but I'll get all that sorted out. The nice thing about doing it at home: I can wear anything to do it. The possibilities are endless.
Today was pretty quiet. Ron just drank all day but he was quiet. I noticed the dishwasher was crooked when I got up from my nap (not a very good nap, thanks to #6 and #7), so I hope it is OK.
Tomorrow we get up very early to go to work, and get our Dr Pepper delivery. Allegedly they had issues due to the big freeze last week and deliveries got delayed. I hope that is the case. It will suck to get up at 1-2 in the morning but I will do it. It's only a couple times a month.
When I checked my blood sugar this morning, it was 93, and that was after eating a dessert with dinner. I have a good little pancreas. I need to take better care of it.
And of course I need to have my blood test done next month, to determine my lithium level and kidney/liver function.
Walmart switched the maker on my Depakote so I have a totally different looking pill. I feel OK after taking it, though. I took my first new one tonight. The new pills are a loud pink so it takes a little getting used to. I spent about half an hour doing up 2 weeks of medication tonight, sitting in my chair, watching "The Blind Side" and worrying about the dishwasher. I think it will be OK, though.
If it's not, it's not a big deal, because I seldom use it anyway. To be honest, I would have rather had a cabinet instead. My kitchen is maybe - is, I just measured, 9 square feet of floor space, 35 square feet total. Every apartment I've ever had, had a bigger kitchen. But a big kitchen was not a big deal to me when I was looking at houses. It had a window over the sink and was "big enough" for 2 people, if neither's in a wheelchair. When Ron's in the kitchen, he takes up the whole kitchen. I literally have to ask him to leave.
So I really could have used that cabinet. Anyway, I need to go.
Have a good week!
A note on the sales tax. A few years ago Doc had adjusted my medication. I filled out the sales tax and mailed it. What I do is fill out a short form (It's actually called "The Short Form") with the information Ron gives me, then fill out a check with the amount, sign and date it, mail it off to Austin.
Anyway, the check didn't clear, all those years ago. Ron got worried, then he got a phone call from a man in "Reconciliations". Apparently I had filled out everything, even written the account number on the check, but had failed to fill out the amount. So, I sent them a signed, blank, check.
The man couldn't understand how this could happen, until Ron explained, crazy wife, new medication, very sorry. They sent it back to us to correct and we didn't get a penalty. He was very nice about it.
But, it made me realize, some days I may need to delay taking my medication. So I didn't take my Wellbutrin first thing. It makes me stupid, it makes my hands shake. Ever tried to fill out a form with shaking hands? Or fill out a check? Very frustrating.
I took my medication after I had mailed the check, and I double and triple checked that I had done everything correctly. Then we went to the bank. We had (hidden in a bag) a large jar of quarters, which would pay a portion of the sales tax. We did a "coin dump" and deposited it into the account. This can be done if you are an account holder and the coins are sorted.
After that we went home and tried to take a nap, but #7 was building a new fence. He is probably the "Joneses" everyone's trying to keep up with. He just put new siding and paint about a year ago, built a huge covered patio in the back, now a new fence. It was supposed to rain this weekend (it never did) so I was surprised he would have his crew working in it, especially as it wasn't an emergency. They were very slow.
We went to dinner and came back, I was pretty wiped out, and went to bed early.
I was tired, I slept in until 9. Someone was riding around in a vehicle, playing the stereo loudly, just circling the block again and again erratically. No way to sic the police on them even if they would come for that, so I just had to deal with it.
Biscuit got in my bed, purring at me, nipping my fingers. I got up to feed him. No food, wet or dry. They ate everything last night. I fed him both mediums and brushed my teeth.
I also discovered I'd started my cycle. It was 5 days late, I was starting to wonder if it was going to show up. I wondered about things like my risk of heart disease going up in menopause, and my odds of weight loss going down. It's been pretty heavy today so it's making up for lost time.
Just another sign I am in my 40's and can expect menopause pretty soon. Yesterday I decided to start working out with the weights again, but then I had to bring the garbage can into the garage.
Oh, I forgot to tell you. I went to take out the trash and Torbie got out when I opened the door to re enter the house. I scooped her up (she didn't go far) and had a blanket in my arms as well, I had used it to cover the jasmine during the cold snap (although the jasmine seems fine). I went into the house and Biscuit kept trying to get out. I had to push him, forcefully, with the side of my foot to ensure he'd stay in the house. I felt terrible about it. I don't ever want to touch my babies in frustration, but I did.
So Ron and I talked about it and he made the good suggestion to just put the garbage can back in the garage. I can throw away anything without the cats getting out. If they get into the garage, and they do regularly, they just come back in the house. I thought that was (and still do) a good idea, and did it.
But now I can't get to my weights. They are in the back of the garage. I think I will work on making a path. We have tons of work crap in the garage right now and I would love to get rid of it.
But working out with weights can only be a good thing for me. I will need to figure out a time of course, but I'll get all that sorted out. The nice thing about doing it at home: I can wear anything to do it. The possibilities are endless.
Today was pretty quiet. Ron just drank all day but he was quiet. I noticed the dishwasher was crooked when I got up from my nap (not a very good nap, thanks to #6 and #7), so I hope it is OK.
Tomorrow we get up very early to go to work, and get our Dr Pepper delivery. Allegedly they had issues due to the big freeze last week and deliveries got delayed. I hope that is the case. It will suck to get up at 1-2 in the morning but I will do it. It's only a couple times a month.
When I checked my blood sugar this morning, it was 93, and that was after eating a dessert with dinner. I have a good little pancreas. I need to take better care of it.
And of course I need to have my blood test done next month, to determine my lithium level and kidney/liver function.
Walmart switched the maker on my Depakote so I have a totally different looking pill. I feel OK after taking it, though. I took my first new one tonight. The new pills are a loud pink so it takes a little getting used to. I spent about half an hour doing up 2 weeks of medication tonight, sitting in my chair, watching "The Blind Side" and worrying about the dishwasher. I think it will be OK, though.
If it's not, it's not a big deal, because I seldom use it anyway. To be honest, I would have rather had a cabinet instead. My kitchen is maybe - is, I just measured, 9 square feet of floor space, 35 square feet total. Every apartment I've ever had, had a bigger kitchen. But a big kitchen was not a big deal to me when I was looking at houses. It had a window over the sink and was "big enough" for 2 people, if neither's in a wheelchair. When Ron's in the kitchen, he takes up the whole kitchen. I literally have to ask him to leave.
So I really could have used that cabinet. Anyway, I need to go.
Have a good week!
Friday, January 19, 2018
They never play games with the Haldol
Yesterday was long, hence no post. I got up, went to work, and stocked. It looked like most of the employees had stayed home or brought their own lunches, I had minimal work to do for snacks. Always plenty to do helping Ron, but not much on my end of things.
I helped Ron with his work and got it all done.
We came home for a little bit, not long enough for a real nap, and then went straight out to Walmart to get my drugs. This one helps with the mixed episodes, so pretty vital. Well, they're all vital, just in different ways. Amusingly enough, they have never played games with late Haldol, the antipsychotic. They never play games with the Haldol.
We got a few little things and my medication. The tech, the same one I had last time (I referred to him as "My boyfriend") said I saved about 150-90= $60 on this prescription. Next time I am going to ask if Doc can just use the regular release instead of extended. I don't see why I would need extended relief, I mean release. Hopefully I can get it a lot cheaper if I do that.
Depakote is used for bipolar, and also for seizures, so you would think they would cheap it up a bit. Oh, well, they need to pay their employees.
Anyway, finished at Walmart, went home. Had about an hour, then Ron wanted Denny's. So we went.
I wanted something cheesy so I had the sampler platter with fried cheese sticks. It was very good. Sauce was pretty meh, but the sticks were good. Ron had a half order or nachos. He ordered some soup to go.
We didn't have very long, that's just how the trips worked out. But I had a pretty good time and then we came home. It was pretty late for me (8) so I just went to bed.
I woke up a couple times during the night, and when Ron heard me awake he complained he could not sleep. If he eats, he doesn't get drunk when he drinks, and if he doesn't get drunk, he feels he can't sleep.
I don't know if that's true or not, but it's what he believes.
I woke up around 8 and Ron was up. He turned the house heater on to suffocating levels because "the floor is cold" then put on shoes. Just put on shoes and don't turn the heater up to suffocating. I'm all dried out and it feels like a desert in here.
At one point, Ron had me look up reviews of his mother's nursing home. Both parents were placed in a nursing home, several years ago, by Ron's brother and sister, who had told us they had made a pact to "take care of them". His sister was supposed to take care of their mother, his brother, their dad. Dad developed dementia so I understand why he was placed, but his mother was living independently with a little assistance from his dad. She did fall a lot, though. Anyway, they decided mom would be "too much of a burden" and placed her with her husband. It was nice they kept them together, I'll give them that, but putting someone in a nursing home is a big deal.
How did I find out about it? After all, they were all acting as if Ron died. I am facebook friends with Ron's cousin, and she went to visit them. She has no concept of security, stalkers, etc. and posted the name of the nursing home when she "tagged" the pictures. I think she did one of those "So and so is at [location name]" things too just in case I didn't get it.
So I know the name of the nursing home. It isn't that far from us, as things go. I asked Ron if he wanted to go, he said no. Sometimes he says he would like to bring her a (frozen, commercial) bowl of gumbo and heat it up for her, but I don't think she could eat it. She had a lot of digestive issues. Other than that, I told him, if he's serious call and ask the home if his mother would even be interested in seeing him - after all they did that whole "don't bother us again" thing the last time we went to visit.
If she were open to a visit, I would be happy to take Ron, if he wanted to go. He has not wanted to go. I can't blame him, she hurt him terribly and now she's in poor conditions.
More on that: today Ron asked me to google the nursing home and it has some terrible reviews. So it is probably a pretty miserable place to be. But she trusted the other kids to "take care of her" and this is how they did it. More importantly, this is what they've modeled for their own kids, so they can expect the same treatment in another 10 years.
It's not like we could get her out, I have my hands full caring for Ron on top of my own, multiple, disabilities. We have no room in the house for the equipment she would need. We have cats. I am sure she requires specialized care.
So we would basically be going to gape at her and I don't think that would be fair to anyone.
I plan to take a shower, then do my God Time and take a nap. Ron had wanted to go out later but he changed his mind. We had a gift card.
He seems happy, he just ate one of his bowls of soup. I'm going to go take my shower.
I helped Ron with his work and got it all done.
We came home for a little bit, not long enough for a real nap, and then went straight out to Walmart to get my drugs. This one helps with the mixed episodes, so pretty vital. Well, they're all vital, just in different ways. Amusingly enough, they have never played games with late Haldol, the antipsychotic. They never play games with the Haldol.
We got a few little things and my medication. The tech, the same one I had last time (I referred to him as "My boyfriend") said I saved about 150-90= $60 on this prescription. Next time I am going to ask if Doc can just use the regular release instead of extended. I don't see why I would need extended relief, I mean release. Hopefully I can get it a lot cheaper if I do that.
Depakote is used for bipolar, and also for seizures, so you would think they would cheap it up a bit. Oh, well, they need to pay their employees.
Anyway, finished at Walmart, went home. Had about an hour, then Ron wanted Denny's. So we went.
I wanted something cheesy so I had the sampler platter with fried cheese sticks. It was very good. Sauce was pretty meh, but the sticks were good. Ron had a half order or nachos. He ordered some soup to go.
We didn't have very long, that's just how the trips worked out. But I had a pretty good time and then we came home. It was pretty late for me (8) so I just went to bed.
I woke up a couple times during the night, and when Ron heard me awake he complained he could not sleep. If he eats, he doesn't get drunk when he drinks, and if he doesn't get drunk, he feels he can't sleep.
I don't know if that's true or not, but it's what he believes.
I woke up around 8 and Ron was up. He turned the house heater on to suffocating levels because "the floor is cold" then put on shoes. Just put on shoes and don't turn the heater up to suffocating. I'm all dried out and it feels like a desert in here.
At one point, Ron had me look up reviews of his mother's nursing home. Both parents were placed in a nursing home, several years ago, by Ron's brother and sister, who had told us they had made a pact to "take care of them". His sister was supposed to take care of their mother, his brother, their dad. Dad developed dementia so I understand why he was placed, but his mother was living independently with a little assistance from his dad. She did fall a lot, though. Anyway, they decided mom would be "too much of a burden" and placed her with her husband. It was nice they kept them together, I'll give them that, but putting someone in a nursing home is a big deal.
How did I find out about it? After all, they were all acting as if Ron died. I am facebook friends with Ron's cousin, and she went to visit them. She has no concept of security, stalkers, etc. and posted the name of the nursing home when she "tagged" the pictures. I think she did one of those "So and so is at [location name]" things too just in case I didn't get it.
So I know the name of the nursing home. It isn't that far from us, as things go. I asked Ron if he wanted to go, he said no. Sometimes he says he would like to bring her a (frozen, commercial) bowl of gumbo and heat it up for her, but I don't think she could eat it. She had a lot of digestive issues. Other than that, I told him, if he's serious call and ask the home if his mother would even be interested in seeing him - after all they did that whole "don't bother us again" thing the last time we went to visit.
If she were open to a visit, I would be happy to take Ron, if he wanted to go. He has not wanted to go. I can't blame him, she hurt him terribly and now she's in poor conditions.
More on that: today Ron asked me to google the nursing home and it has some terrible reviews. So it is probably a pretty miserable place to be. But she trusted the other kids to "take care of her" and this is how they did it. More importantly, this is what they've modeled for their own kids, so they can expect the same treatment in another 10 years.
It's not like we could get her out, I have my hands full caring for Ron on top of my own, multiple, disabilities. We have no room in the house for the equipment she would need. We have cats. I am sure she requires specialized care.
So we would basically be going to gape at her and I don't think that would be fair to anyone.
I plan to take a shower, then do my God Time and take a nap. Ron had wanted to go out later but he changed his mind. We had a gift card.
He seems happy, he just ate one of his bowls of soup. I'm going to go take my shower.
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
I never thought I'd be a cat beautician
We stayed pretty warm last night, we have a good gas furnace and kept our electric. I also ran the heated mattress pad on the bed.
It was pretty uneventful except for Ron getting drunk and watching his favorite romantic comedy - again - laughing, making noise, and generally waking me up. I yelled at him, he yelled back, and we both went to sleep.
I woke up around 8 this morning. That seems to be my preset if I don't have any other plans. I got on the computer for a while, then took a shower and did my God time.
I was happy to see Ron had gotten "on board" with the dripping faucet concept, and even turned it to drip a little more. It did not freeze.
The side yard, front yard, parts of the backyard, and some of the catio were covered in ice. For once, the cats didn't want to go out.
Lately, I've been finding Baby Girl at good moments and trimming the mats on her fur, with some blunt tipped grooming scissors. She is pretty good natured about it as long as I catch her at the right time. She knows, I think, that I want to help her, to make her feel better. I know those mats have got to be uncomfortable.
So today I found a good moment and trimmed off a big mat the size of a quarter. She was very good about it, then I gave her some of her special treats. They are a soft fish based treat and smell ghastly. She is the only one of our cats that likes them. I tried to "get" her some more but she very politely let me know "that's all" and moved off.
I put the scissors back and took a nap. Baby Girl never sleeps with me, but Torbie did. I slept pretty well until #6 dragged the kids outside again. This time, since it was warmer and not actively sleeting, the kids played a little with the ice and then went back in the house. At one point, though, I heard an adult male yelling in English "Give it back!" so I wonder what went on there. Normally the father at #6 only speaks to his kids in Spanish.
The garbage pickup came, which is a good thing because I had a lot of trash (all in my big can). They took it away. I got dressed and went outside to get the can. I covered up the jasmine a little better, stepping on some ice to do so. I checked on the purple things, the ones that are exposed are pretty dead. Very wilted, at least. I noticed the front yard still had a fair amount of ice, and we had ice in the driveway.
Ron called in his Dr Pepper order, then got drunk and called back. Let's hope we don't get two orders.
Ron has been pretty quiet, but we need to go to bed early tonight. We have an early wakeup tomorrow, at least I do. We go to bed at a pretty reasonable hour.
Ron wants to go to Walmart tomorrow to buy more cat treats (the kind everyone likes), and I need to get my medication. My insurance didn't offer any sort of discount on this medication, just the antidepressant. They may have also discounted it (the Wellbutrin) because it is often used in smoking cessation programs. No insurance company wants a smoker on the rolls if they can help it, they have huge risks of cancer and heart disease, among other things.
I remember when I was a teen, my stepsister's best friend's dad developed lung cancer and had to have an entire lung removed. And he still died, later. My mother was a chain smoker but my Dad was not. According to my sister, Mom could either get off the smokes, or the alcohol, but not both at the same time.
She didn't take her medication either, which makes a pretty big impact as well. Anyway, I have to go cough up $90 tomorrow for it.
It helps with my mixed episodes so I take it. One time I forgot to put it in my pill organizer and I had horrible anxiety that week. So it helps with anxiety, too, apparently (Depakote).
I called my parents last night, told them how I was doing, and explained that most nights I go to bed at 7 PM. They were shocked. I remember my Dad complaining how he had to go to bed at 8 when his A-fib was acting up. I told them it's my medication, we all want me taking that, and I am OK paying the price.
My stepmom asked me when I got up, and I told her 8, if I can. She's like, you sleep 13 hours if you can? Yeah. I didn't tell her I often take a nap in addition to that. Medication, I assume. All my blood tests come back OK. I could probably use an EKG due to my family history of heart disease but I kind of doubt insurance will pay for that.
So, anyways, only an hour before I can go to bed. I'm trying to stay up as late as I can so I can leave the faucet dripping for as short a time as possible. I want to save as much as we can on the water bill.
It will get down to about 20 tonight so probably some more ice in the morning, but not much. We don't have any more precipitation so nothing to freeze.
Ron's only comment on my trimming "his" cat, was that if I made her look too good, he wouldn't be able to tell her apart from Torbie. Right now he can feel Baby Girl's mats and know it is her. He thinks he won't be able to feel the difference if I "fix" her.
I don't think that's a good reason to keep her, most likely, uncomfortable.
It was pretty uneventful except for Ron getting drunk and watching his favorite romantic comedy - again - laughing, making noise, and generally waking me up. I yelled at him, he yelled back, and we both went to sleep.
I woke up around 8 this morning. That seems to be my preset if I don't have any other plans. I got on the computer for a while, then took a shower and did my God time.
I was happy to see Ron had gotten "on board" with the dripping faucet concept, and even turned it to drip a little more. It did not freeze.
The side yard, front yard, parts of the backyard, and some of the catio were covered in ice. For once, the cats didn't want to go out.
Lately, I've been finding Baby Girl at good moments and trimming the mats on her fur, with some blunt tipped grooming scissors. She is pretty good natured about it as long as I catch her at the right time. She knows, I think, that I want to help her, to make her feel better. I know those mats have got to be uncomfortable.
So today I found a good moment and trimmed off a big mat the size of a quarter. She was very good about it, then I gave her some of her special treats. They are a soft fish based treat and smell ghastly. She is the only one of our cats that likes them. I tried to "get" her some more but she very politely let me know "that's all" and moved off.
I put the scissors back and took a nap. Baby Girl never sleeps with me, but Torbie did. I slept pretty well until #6 dragged the kids outside again. This time, since it was warmer and not actively sleeting, the kids played a little with the ice and then went back in the house. At one point, though, I heard an adult male yelling in English "Give it back!" so I wonder what went on there. Normally the father at #6 only speaks to his kids in Spanish.
The garbage pickup came, which is a good thing because I had a lot of trash (all in my big can). They took it away. I got dressed and went outside to get the can. I covered up the jasmine a little better, stepping on some ice to do so. I checked on the purple things, the ones that are exposed are pretty dead. Very wilted, at least. I noticed the front yard still had a fair amount of ice, and we had ice in the driveway.
Ron called in his Dr Pepper order, then got drunk and called back. Let's hope we don't get two orders.
Ron has been pretty quiet, but we need to go to bed early tonight. We have an early wakeup tomorrow, at least I do. We go to bed at a pretty reasonable hour.
Ron wants to go to Walmart tomorrow to buy more cat treats (the kind everyone likes), and I need to get my medication. My insurance didn't offer any sort of discount on this medication, just the antidepressant. They may have also discounted it (the Wellbutrin) because it is often used in smoking cessation programs. No insurance company wants a smoker on the rolls if they can help it, they have huge risks of cancer and heart disease, among other things.
I remember when I was a teen, my stepsister's best friend's dad developed lung cancer and had to have an entire lung removed. And he still died, later. My mother was a chain smoker but my Dad was not. According to my sister, Mom could either get off the smokes, or the alcohol, but not both at the same time.
She didn't take her medication either, which makes a pretty big impact as well. Anyway, I have to go cough up $90 tomorrow for it.
It helps with my mixed episodes so I take it. One time I forgot to put it in my pill organizer and I had horrible anxiety that week. So it helps with anxiety, too, apparently (Depakote).
I called my parents last night, told them how I was doing, and explained that most nights I go to bed at 7 PM. They were shocked. I remember my Dad complaining how he had to go to bed at 8 when his A-fib was acting up. I told them it's my medication, we all want me taking that, and I am OK paying the price.
My stepmom asked me when I got up, and I told her 8, if I can. She's like, you sleep 13 hours if you can? Yeah. I didn't tell her I often take a nap in addition to that. Medication, I assume. All my blood tests come back OK. I could probably use an EKG due to my family history of heart disease but I kind of doubt insurance will pay for that.
So, anyways, only an hour before I can go to bed. I'm trying to stay up as late as I can so I can leave the faucet dripping for as short a time as possible. I want to save as much as we can on the water bill.
It will get down to about 20 tonight so probably some more ice in the morning, but not much. We don't have any more precipitation so nothing to freeze.
Ron's only comment on my trimming "his" cat, was that if I made her look too good, he wouldn't be able to tell her apart from Torbie. Right now he can feel Baby Girl's mats and know it is her. He thinks he won't be able to feel the difference if I "fix" her.
I don't think that's a good reason to keep her, most likely, uncomfortable.
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Ice on the roads and my own little adventure
I have to get this off my chest, before I burst: IT'S NOT SNOW.
OK. I'm alright now. I got up early and went with Ron to the dentist. The building is set up off the ground level and has a pretty steep ramp.
We were forecast to get nasty winter weather today, lows in the 20's, wintry mix precipitation, etc. It was sleeting when we got to the dentist, but nothing major. It got in my hair, it was a little uncomfortable.
We got to the dentist and got Ron in a chair. We determined that Ron does better sitting up until they work on him, due to his back. Other than that it was pretty standard, give him the shot, drill, do the work, etc., arrange our followup. It took a couple of hours.
By the time we left it was really sleeting. I had to push him about a third of a mile, in the wheelchair, from the dentist to the Walmart. Ron had arranged for our pickup at the Walmart.
OK, we can do that. Except the ramp was coated in ice. This morning, when selecting my footwear, had chosen my "rain shoes", a very cheap pair of sneakers I don't mind getting wet. They were covered in cat hair but I fixed them up. The only problem: they had pretty slick soles.
You probably know, when dealing with ice, especially when pushing a wheelchair on an icy ramp, you want traction. But what could I do? I, very carefully, pushed him out and got him down the ramp. I found myself slipping on the accumulated ice and sleet a few times on the way. I managed to steady myself on the handles of the wheelchair.
It was sleeting, and wind was blowing directly in our faces. It was overcast and miserable.
I was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and two jackets layered. I also wore a loud purple poncho. Ron wore a jacket and jeans. My phone had said it felt like 13 degrees. I honestly felt "fine" except for the backs of my hands, and my feet. Water soaked into my shoes and my socks became soggy and cold. It was unpleasant.
I finally got Ron over to the Walmart. Perils of public transit. Houston was having, and is having, a massive fit of hysteria due to ice on the roads!!!! As I said yesterday, not a big deal if you are careful.
I got a few things at Walmart and we paid the electric bill. Ron called paratransit and took his ride off of hold., He had suspended his ride home before we went to the dentist because you never want to rush the dentist. I was fine with that.
They said they'd come in 20 years. I mean minutes. You can tell I've taken my medication today.
Ron didn't want to wait anywhere near the door. It was still windy. I understood but we had to watch out for our ride. We compromised and sat somewhat near the door, where I had a very limited view. I ate a hamburger and took my antidepressant, then Ron suggested we go to the door. I went out to look for our ride and the store employees were spreading salt on the ground.
Everyone kept calling the sleet "snow". The ice actually was "ice" but they didn't know snow from sleet. The ride came, and the back door was nearly frozen shut. I put my stuff up while Ron got on the vehicle. The driver got the wheelchair.
We went home, driving very carefully and slowly. One driver going about our speed had their hazards flashing. We got home.
We have a fairly steep driveway and I was worried about pushing the wheelchair up the ice-covered driveway. It didn't sound much fun. I worried I would fall or spill Ron out of the wheelchair, in front of the driver.
But first I had to get my 2 bags. I got them out of the back of the vehicle, stepping in literal icewater to get them. I carried them carefully up the driveway, which was slick. I put them down in the garage and found Ron, staggering through the grass, with the driver hovering over him like a concerned mother hen. "The driveway was [too slick] so I walked in the grass!" he told me proudly. I got him back in the wheelchair for the "crossing the driveway" part of the program. The driver got back in the vehicle, I got Ron in the garage.
I shut the door and we went in the nice warm house. One of the cats slipped out in the garage (already shut) and came right in. Later on, Baby Girl went running outside, only to turn right around and bolt back in the minute her paws touched the sleet. Torbie sat on the bed, in her spot, silently asking me to turn on "her" heated mattress pad. I obliged. Biscuit ran all over for a while but settled down. He was most upset when I took "his" blanket to cover up the jasmine. The purple things are still pretty covered up by their cardboard. I took out the garbage.
I cleaned the litter box and took a nap. #6 was home, it makes sense, he is a contractor. Not a lot of construction happening in the cold weather and sleet today. I wasn't so happy when he dragged the whole clan out to play in the sleet for a while. Being pampered suburban Houstonites, the party didn't last long and they went back into their nice warm house. He kept trying to get them out but they weren't having it. Just about the time I was ready to yell "Shut up, already!" at him, he gave up and went inside.
He forgets, he works outside, they don't. They don't do any chores as far as I can tell. They spend all their time indoors with electronics, toys, whatever they have in their addition. They don't want to go out in "feels like 13 degrees F" weather to experience the joys of the seasons. They just want to go inside the nice warm house (you paid for) and bitch about the cold.
On the other hand, he would have loved me as a kid. My parents always made sure I had a snowsuit, so I could go outside and play in the winter. I had boots, pants with a bib, coat, hat, gloves, and scarf. I used to run around outside and play in miserable weather all the time when I was a kid. Maybe he had the same experience, minus the clothes (I doubt his parents were even middle-class, the way he spoils his kids).
At any rate he would have had a lot of fun with my younger self. I found that interesting. The cold weather finally got to him, too, and he went back inside. And I was awake anyway, so it didn't matter.
I got on my computer, and everyone in Houston is exclaiming about the snow. It's not snow, it's sleet! Not that it really matters, most people are going to call any kind of wintry mix precipitation "snow". Probably only a meteorologist cares.
It did bug me, though. Snow falls much differently, it glides, it floats. Sleet is literally flung from the sky like someone hates you. At least it was today.
I plan to leave a tap dripping tonight when I go to bed. It will be very cold tonight and I don't want to end up with frozen pipes. Ron told me not to but, as the saying goes, easier to apologize than to get permission.
He is asleep, he got into the vodka when he got home. He said he was up all night worrying about his dental work, which is odd, he's had plenty of dental work and only one bad experience 30 years ago with a Medicaid dentist and a filling. The dentist told Ron he had a new drill and didn't need painkiller anymore, and forced Ron to get a filling without anesthetic. He said that sucked pretty bad. OK, now I understand why he might have been worried.
Anyway, he's out. He has plenty of food, including some chicken soup he got from Denny's. He loves Denny's chicken soup. I have cornbread and chili for tomorrow, I plan to eat my takeout McDonald's hamburger for dinner. I wanted something easy.
That's it for now. I'll keep you posted. If you turn on your news I'm sure you will see Houston, better images than I could get, so I won't bother posting any photos.
I do know this, based on the utterly dead, and frost-blasted plants I have seen riding around the last day or so, the plant nurseries will have a lot of business come Spring. Mango trees and Bananas seem to be particularly hard-hit. Not to mention tropical vegetation and flowering plants. I lost a hibiscus my father-in-law gave me several years ago to some bad temperatures.
And the utility companies, gas and electric, will make a lot of money, too. I'm always looking for the positive in things.
Edit: paratransit is shut down tomorrow.
OK. I'm alright now. I got up early and went with Ron to the dentist. The building is set up off the ground level and has a pretty steep ramp.
We were forecast to get nasty winter weather today, lows in the 20's, wintry mix precipitation, etc. It was sleeting when we got to the dentist, but nothing major. It got in my hair, it was a little uncomfortable.
We got to the dentist and got Ron in a chair. We determined that Ron does better sitting up until they work on him, due to his back. Other than that it was pretty standard, give him the shot, drill, do the work, etc., arrange our followup. It took a couple of hours.
By the time we left it was really sleeting. I had to push him about a third of a mile, in the wheelchair, from the dentist to the Walmart. Ron had arranged for our pickup at the Walmart.
OK, we can do that. Except the ramp was coated in ice. This morning, when selecting my footwear, had chosen my "rain shoes", a very cheap pair of sneakers I don't mind getting wet. They were covered in cat hair but I fixed them up. The only problem: they had pretty slick soles.
You probably know, when dealing with ice, especially when pushing a wheelchair on an icy ramp, you want traction. But what could I do? I, very carefully, pushed him out and got him down the ramp. I found myself slipping on the accumulated ice and sleet a few times on the way. I managed to steady myself on the handles of the wheelchair.
It was sleeting, and wind was blowing directly in our faces. It was overcast and miserable.
I was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, sneakers, and two jackets layered. I also wore a loud purple poncho. Ron wore a jacket and jeans. My phone had said it felt like 13 degrees. I honestly felt "fine" except for the backs of my hands, and my feet. Water soaked into my shoes and my socks became soggy and cold. It was unpleasant.
I finally got Ron over to the Walmart. Perils of public transit. Houston was having, and is having, a massive fit of hysteria due to ice on the roads!!!! As I said yesterday, not a big deal if you are careful.
I got a few things at Walmart and we paid the electric bill. Ron called paratransit and took his ride off of hold., He had suspended his ride home before we went to the dentist because you never want to rush the dentist. I was fine with that.
They said they'd come in 20 years. I mean minutes. You can tell I've taken my medication today.
Ron didn't want to wait anywhere near the door. It was still windy. I understood but we had to watch out for our ride. We compromised and sat somewhat near the door, where I had a very limited view. I ate a hamburger and took my antidepressant, then Ron suggested we go to the door. I went out to look for our ride and the store employees were spreading salt on the ground.
Everyone kept calling the sleet "snow". The ice actually was "ice" but they didn't know snow from sleet. The ride came, and the back door was nearly frozen shut. I put my stuff up while Ron got on the vehicle. The driver got the wheelchair.
We went home, driving very carefully and slowly. One driver going about our speed had their hazards flashing. We got home.
We have a fairly steep driveway and I was worried about pushing the wheelchair up the ice-covered driveway. It didn't sound much fun. I worried I would fall or spill Ron out of the wheelchair, in front of the driver.
But first I had to get my 2 bags. I got them out of the back of the vehicle, stepping in literal icewater to get them. I carried them carefully up the driveway, which was slick. I put them down in the garage and found Ron, staggering through the grass, with the driver hovering over him like a concerned mother hen. "The driveway was [too slick] so I walked in the grass!" he told me proudly. I got him back in the wheelchair for the "crossing the driveway" part of the program. The driver got back in the vehicle, I got Ron in the garage.
I shut the door and we went in the nice warm house. One of the cats slipped out in the garage (already shut) and came right in. Later on, Baby Girl went running outside, only to turn right around and bolt back in the minute her paws touched the sleet. Torbie sat on the bed, in her spot, silently asking me to turn on "her" heated mattress pad. I obliged. Biscuit ran all over for a while but settled down. He was most upset when I took "his" blanket to cover up the jasmine. The purple things are still pretty covered up by their cardboard. I took out the garbage.
I cleaned the litter box and took a nap. #6 was home, it makes sense, he is a contractor. Not a lot of construction happening in the cold weather and sleet today. I wasn't so happy when he dragged the whole clan out to play in the sleet for a while. Being pampered suburban Houstonites, the party didn't last long and they went back into their nice warm house. He kept trying to get them out but they weren't having it. Just about the time I was ready to yell "Shut up, already!" at him, he gave up and went inside.
He forgets, he works outside, they don't. They don't do any chores as far as I can tell. They spend all their time indoors with electronics, toys, whatever they have in their addition. They don't want to go out in "feels like 13 degrees F" weather to experience the joys of the seasons. They just want to go inside the nice warm house (you paid for) and bitch about the cold.
On the other hand, he would have loved me as a kid. My parents always made sure I had a snowsuit, so I could go outside and play in the winter. I had boots, pants with a bib, coat, hat, gloves, and scarf. I used to run around outside and play in miserable weather all the time when I was a kid. Maybe he had the same experience, minus the clothes (I doubt his parents were even middle-class, the way he spoils his kids).
At any rate he would have had a lot of fun with my younger self. I found that interesting. The cold weather finally got to him, too, and he went back inside. And I was awake anyway, so it didn't matter.
I got on my computer, and everyone in Houston is exclaiming about the snow. It's not snow, it's sleet! Not that it really matters, most people are going to call any kind of wintry mix precipitation "snow". Probably only a meteorologist cares.
It did bug me, though. Snow falls much differently, it glides, it floats. Sleet is literally flung from the sky like someone hates you. At least it was today.
I plan to leave a tap dripping tonight when I go to bed. It will be very cold tonight and I don't want to end up with frozen pipes. Ron told me not to but, as the saying goes, easier to apologize than to get permission.
He is asleep, he got into the vodka when he got home. He said he was up all night worrying about his dental work, which is odd, he's had plenty of dental work and only one bad experience 30 years ago with a Medicaid dentist and a filling. The dentist told Ron he had a new drill and didn't need painkiller anymore, and forced Ron to get a filling without anesthetic. He said that sucked pretty bad. OK, now I understand why he might have been worried.
Anyway, he's out. He has plenty of food, including some chicken soup he got from Denny's. He loves Denny's chicken soup. I have cornbread and chili for tomorrow, I plan to eat my takeout McDonald's hamburger for dinner. I wanted something easy.
That's it for now. I'll keep you posted. If you turn on your news I'm sure you will see Houston, better images than I could get, so I won't bother posting any photos.
I do know this, based on the utterly dead, and frost-blasted plants I have seen riding around the last day or so, the plant nurseries will have a lot of business come Spring. Mango trees and Bananas seem to be particularly hard-hit. Not to mention tropical vegetation and flowering plants. I lost a hibiscus my father-in-law gave me several years ago to some bad temperatures.
And the utility companies, gas and electric, will make a lot of money, too. I'm always looking for the positive in things.
Edit: paratransit is shut down tomorrow.
Monday, January 15, 2018
Indestructible purple things
I had a pretty good day yesterday. We went to the Kolache factory, ate, had a good time, came home, took a nap.
I got up and did some cleaning. Then I went to bed.
I slept pretty well, but I had an odd dream right before I woke up. I was next door, at #6, talking to the wife when aliens invaded. As in, the Alien movie franchise. It was chaos and fighting. During the fighting, I threw the only thing I had at hand - a potato. And the Aliens went crazy for them, gobbling them up. I managed to convey this in Spanish and we pelted the Aliens with papas (potatoes, en espanol), until we could make our escape.
And then I woke up. Took my shower, fed Biscuit, all the good stuff.
Ron was sick but we went to work anyway. He felt tired, and queasy, but no other symptoms. I worry about his liver. He felt so bad he didn't even fill his vending machines, so I had to do the work of 2 people today.
Ron gave me a very hard time about bringing home my candy, accusing me of trying to "buy love" and "make people like you". I didn't bother to argue. The game is played by me saying "No, I'm not". I just said "Believe whatever you want" and left it at that, which got him very upset. He finally left me alone.
We came home, I took a nap. So did he. I turned on the heated mattress pad and Torbie lay down on the exposed part of it (just covered by a sheet, but no covers). We had a pretty good nap, no weird dreams.
I got up and did my God Time, bagged up some candy, with my new candy. I was glad I had brought it home, although it had been difficult and heavy. Our driver arrived.
It really aggravates me: Ron has become incredibly selfish and lazy. When we rode the bus, if we weren't there on time we missed the bus. The bus didn't wait for anyone. You were either there on time, or you missed it. Ron was always running to meet the bus, or train, at the last minute. The commuter train to San Francisco used to look for him.
Paratransit is a little different. They pull up, they give you 5 minutes to come out, after your pickup time, and then they leave. They even give you a 10-minute callout to let you know they are coming, so you can handle all that last minute business.
Ron will not get ready until after the ride arrives. He very slowly puts on his pants, shoes, fannypack, at the slowest possible pace. I think part of it is to get me upset, because I don't like to keep people waiting and I tell him that. We have also been LEFT because he was so slow getting out. Part of it is he doesn't want to get ready for anyone, they have to wait on him. I am stuck, because it is his service, but people who give us rides are always shocked that I am ready the minute they arrive, with no waiting, vs. waiting 5-10 minutes on Ron "Oh, I guess I should go to the bathroom". The only one he doesn't do this to is Jack, our "truck" driver. One, he's already dressed, two, he doesn't dare alienate him.
But if he can, or feels he can, get away with it he is kind of a jerk. I don't believe in making people wait at all. They're doing you a favor, providing transportation.
Anyway. Ron took his sweet time getting ready for the ride, and by some miracle she actually waited on him. We went to Denny's.
Ron ate the better part of a half order of nachos and a salad. He liked them pretty well. Next time he said he would just eat the nachos. I noticed the salad was iceberg lettuce, there was a big "food poisoning" recall on romaine lettuce in many states, I guess it is hard to get right now.
I had a build your own slam, with hashbrowns, ham, eggs, and whole wheat pancakes.
We had a pretty good time. I had to take him into the bathroom at one point so I let our waiter know we were coming back.
Our ride came. The driver was very fearful about the "big ice storm" - maximum projected ice, one tenth of an inch. I rode around in cars, much older than today's, in 4 inch thick ice all over the road, no big deal. It is no big deal to drive on ice if you are careful and drive defensively.
But she kept going on about "how terrible it's going to be" and "I hope they just go to medical services only" - which would leave us stranded at the dentist. We have some cab drivers but still, it could get ugly.
Worst case maybe the dentist could give us a ride home. He likes us pretty well. And I think Ron's going to need another root canal.
The driver also mentioned she had "just gotten over the flu, and her grandbaby was actively sick". I disinfected my hands and the whole wheelchair when we got home. I also took an extra oregano oil and some more Vitamin C.
About the only notable thing I forgot my medication, so I had to take it when I got home. I did that. I'm going to stay up for a little while so it can process. I don't want to burp up oregano oil and lithium if I can avoid it. Ugh. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.
Tomorrow "the big storm" arrives. It will get very cold, winds up to 25 mph, some sort of precipitation, maybe ice, sleet, or snow, which may stick to the road for a couple of hours. That's what's got Houston in hysterics. We drive very aggressively and recklessly, and you can't do that on ice. So people will have to put down their cell phones and pay attention if they don't want to end up in the Emergency Department, or a ditch.
Now, I ride with professional drivers. I'm not worried. But I imagine a lot of people are.
I covered up the purple things again. They were looking a little wilted from the last freeze so I want to keep them perky. I have some cuttings, in water, in the house, if all else fails and they die. But I doubt that will be an issue.
They are pretty indestructible.
I got up and did some cleaning. Then I went to bed.
I slept pretty well, but I had an odd dream right before I woke up. I was next door, at #6, talking to the wife when aliens invaded. As in, the Alien movie franchise. It was chaos and fighting. During the fighting, I threw the only thing I had at hand - a potato. And the Aliens went crazy for them, gobbling them up. I managed to convey this in Spanish and we pelted the Aliens with papas (potatoes, en espanol), until we could make our escape.
And then I woke up. Took my shower, fed Biscuit, all the good stuff.
Ron was sick but we went to work anyway. He felt tired, and queasy, but no other symptoms. I worry about his liver. He felt so bad he didn't even fill his vending machines, so I had to do the work of 2 people today.
Ron gave me a very hard time about bringing home my candy, accusing me of trying to "buy love" and "make people like you". I didn't bother to argue. The game is played by me saying "No, I'm not". I just said "Believe whatever you want" and left it at that, which got him very upset. He finally left me alone.
We came home, I took a nap. So did he. I turned on the heated mattress pad and Torbie lay down on the exposed part of it (just covered by a sheet, but no covers). We had a pretty good nap, no weird dreams.
I got up and did my God Time, bagged up some candy, with my new candy. I was glad I had brought it home, although it had been difficult and heavy. Our driver arrived.
It really aggravates me: Ron has become incredibly selfish and lazy. When we rode the bus, if we weren't there on time we missed the bus. The bus didn't wait for anyone. You were either there on time, or you missed it. Ron was always running to meet the bus, or train, at the last minute. The commuter train to San Francisco used to look for him.
Paratransit is a little different. They pull up, they give you 5 minutes to come out, after your pickup time, and then they leave. They even give you a 10-minute callout to let you know they are coming, so you can handle all that last minute business.
Ron will not get ready until after the ride arrives. He very slowly puts on his pants, shoes, fannypack, at the slowest possible pace. I think part of it is to get me upset, because I don't like to keep people waiting and I tell him that. We have also been LEFT because he was so slow getting out. Part of it is he doesn't want to get ready for anyone, they have to wait on him. I am stuck, because it is his service, but people who give us rides are always shocked that I am ready the minute they arrive, with no waiting, vs. waiting 5-10 minutes on Ron "Oh, I guess I should go to the bathroom". The only one he doesn't do this to is Jack, our "truck" driver. One, he's already dressed, two, he doesn't dare alienate him.
But if he can, or feels he can, get away with it he is kind of a jerk. I don't believe in making people wait at all. They're doing you a favor, providing transportation.
Anyway. Ron took his sweet time getting ready for the ride, and by some miracle she actually waited on him. We went to Denny's.
Ron ate the better part of a half order of nachos and a salad. He liked them pretty well. Next time he said he would just eat the nachos. I noticed the salad was iceberg lettuce, there was a big "food poisoning" recall on romaine lettuce in many states, I guess it is hard to get right now.
I had a build your own slam, with hashbrowns, ham, eggs, and whole wheat pancakes.
We had a pretty good time. I had to take him into the bathroom at one point so I let our waiter know we were coming back.
Our ride came. The driver was very fearful about the "big ice storm" - maximum projected ice, one tenth of an inch. I rode around in cars, much older than today's, in 4 inch thick ice all over the road, no big deal. It is no big deal to drive on ice if you are careful and drive defensively.
But she kept going on about "how terrible it's going to be" and "I hope they just go to medical services only" - which would leave us stranded at the dentist. We have some cab drivers but still, it could get ugly.
Worst case maybe the dentist could give us a ride home. He likes us pretty well. And I think Ron's going to need another root canal.
The driver also mentioned she had "just gotten over the flu, and her grandbaby was actively sick". I disinfected my hands and the whole wheelchair when we got home. I also took an extra oregano oil and some more Vitamin C.
About the only notable thing I forgot my medication, so I had to take it when I got home. I did that. I'm going to stay up for a little while so it can process. I don't want to burp up oregano oil and lithium if I can avoid it. Ugh. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.
Tomorrow "the big storm" arrives. It will get very cold, winds up to 25 mph, some sort of precipitation, maybe ice, sleet, or snow, which may stick to the road for a couple of hours. That's what's got Houston in hysterics. We drive very aggressively and recklessly, and you can't do that on ice. So people will have to put down their cell phones and pay attention if they don't want to end up in the Emergency Department, or a ditch.
Now, I ride with professional drivers. I'm not worried. But I imagine a lot of people are.
I covered up the purple things again. They were looking a little wilted from the last freeze so I want to keep them perky. I have some cuttings, in water, in the house, if all else fails and they die. But I doubt that will be an issue.
They are pretty indestructible.
Ron's sick
Mainly nausea and fatigue. I figure it's either the flu, or his liver. Hoping it's the flu.
Saturday, January 13, 2018
The day didn't suck, after all
I went to bed with a migraine. It was bad enough I took a Phenergan before I went to bed. I woke up with a migraine. I took some Excedrin and drank a Diet Mountain Dew. I got up, got dressed, ready to go.
Our Sam's club did not close, although many did, this week. I am very happy about that.
We got there after they opened so we didn't have to wait in the cold. By this point, the pain relievers had done a pretty good job of taking the worst of my migraine. Good. I got my "buggy" and the list, cash from Ron, and headed off to do my shopping.
I looked at vitamins for me, but didn't see one I liked. I wanted Iron in it, but no Fish Oil. Fish Oil makes me evil.
I did find some candy, and got some for handing out. I got all the stuff for work and checked out.
Jack showed up on time and loaded the truck, with the help of a cart guy. I tipped the cart guy and gave both men some candy. They were happy to get it.
We went to work and unloaded. I was still feeling OK. Got everything into the building. I put all the drinks in the fridge (hard work, heavy lifting), still OK. I helped Ron stock. I did my stocking.
We did that for a while and went to Walmart. It was an interesting trip.
I didn't know we were going straight to Walmart, but I always carry certain items in my fanny pack. Including my health insurance card.
I idly asked the pharmacy tech how much I might save if I used my card, and she said she didn't know. She snatched it out of my hand and gave it to someone else behind the counter. Hey, I thought.
They put me off to the side for a while while he got on the phone and typed away into his computer. Pretty soon he came back. $60 off my antidepressant.
Since I get $4 generics (so to speak) I was worried I would "lose" that and end up paying far higher fees at the pharmacy. I had heard a horror story to that effect. But nope, I saved $60.
They "had to put the order in" for my Depakote, though. Didn't they do that already? So I have to wait days more on that (don't worry, I still have some). I don't know how much I'll save on the Depakote but hopefully it will be another $60 one, and save me another $60.
I finally got my card back (!), paid, and got my pills. I checked them all there at the counter. Anyone with a minimal knowledge of pharmaceuticals understands I am seriously messed up mentally, and exhibits remarkable understanding of my desire to check my meds.
One day they got me mixed up with Harriet, same last name, same birthday (different year) and tried to give me her diabetes medication. Another time the intern working with doc put in prescriptions for anti-anxiety pills and sleeping pills. That would be catastrophic. So, I check.
Sure enough, I had my Wellbutrin, Lithium, and Haldol (although I take the generic versions). Good to go.
I didn't have my tote bags so I wore the bag on my arm, I didn't want to put it in the cart. I have heard a lot about things being stolen out of shopping carts, and I don't want someone snatching my pills, thinking it's the "good" stuff. It is, for me, but they would just throw it away once they figured it out.
I did my shopping. I only got 2 small bags in addition to the pills. I finished up pretty fast.
Ron was very generous in giving me money for my medication, I appreciated that. Like he said, it's in his best interest to keep me medicated (not in those exact words, but the general idea). I agree.
We finished up and went home. I took a short nap and we went to Denny's for dinner. Ron wanted some soup and a salad. I had a chicken sandwich but it didn't really agree with my lithium (I take my "big pills" at night).
We came home. Ron went straight to bed without even looking at his vodka.
It confirms my theory: it is better to keep Ron busy. If he is busy he isn't drinking. That doesn't mean I can control his drinking, but it's probably better for us both (we both, clearly, suffer from depression) to get out more.
My headache never came back, thank God. I was very happy about that. The cats are good.
We should be getting some cold (for us) weather next week. Lows in the 20's and 30's, highs in the 50's.
We have to go back to Walmart Wednesday to get my Depakote, and pay the electric bill. But other than that we got a lot done today.
I'm tired. I will call my Dad in about half an hour. He might still be on vacation. If he's not, he's not, but I don't want to "bother" him. Dad's the kind of guy who likes a phone call (at least from me) at a specific time every week.
Anyway, that's it for now.
Our Sam's club did not close, although many did, this week. I am very happy about that.
We got there after they opened so we didn't have to wait in the cold. By this point, the pain relievers had done a pretty good job of taking the worst of my migraine. Good. I got my "buggy" and the list, cash from Ron, and headed off to do my shopping.
I looked at vitamins for me, but didn't see one I liked. I wanted Iron in it, but no Fish Oil. Fish Oil makes me evil.
I did find some candy, and got some for handing out. I got all the stuff for work and checked out.
Jack showed up on time and loaded the truck, with the help of a cart guy. I tipped the cart guy and gave both men some candy. They were happy to get it.
We went to work and unloaded. I was still feeling OK. Got everything into the building. I put all the drinks in the fridge (hard work, heavy lifting), still OK. I helped Ron stock. I did my stocking.
We did that for a while and went to Walmart. It was an interesting trip.
I didn't know we were going straight to Walmart, but I always carry certain items in my fanny pack. Including my health insurance card.
I idly asked the pharmacy tech how much I might save if I used my card, and she said she didn't know. She snatched it out of my hand and gave it to someone else behind the counter. Hey, I thought.
They put me off to the side for a while while he got on the phone and typed away into his computer. Pretty soon he came back. $60 off my antidepressant.
Since I get $4 generics (so to speak) I was worried I would "lose" that and end up paying far higher fees at the pharmacy. I had heard a horror story to that effect. But nope, I saved $60.
They "had to put the order in" for my Depakote, though. Didn't they do that already? So I have to wait days more on that (don't worry, I still have some). I don't know how much I'll save on the Depakote but hopefully it will be another $60 one, and save me another $60.
I finally got my card back (!), paid, and got my pills. I checked them all there at the counter. Anyone with a minimal knowledge of pharmaceuticals understands I am seriously messed up mentally, and exhibits remarkable understanding of my desire to check my meds.
One day they got me mixed up with Harriet, same last name, same birthday (different year) and tried to give me her diabetes medication. Another time the intern working with doc put in prescriptions for anti-anxiety pills and sleeping pills. That would be catastrophic. So, I check.
Sure enough, I had my Wellbutrin, Lithium, and Haldol (although I take the generic versions). Good to go.
I didn't have my tote bags so I wore the bag on my arm, I didn't want to put it in the cart. I have heard a lot about things being stolen out of shopping carts, and I don't want someone snatching my pills, thinking it's the "good" stuff. It is, for me, but they would just throw it away once they figured it out.
I did my shopping. I only got 2 small bags in addition to the pills. I finished up pretty fast.
Ron was very generous in giving me money for my medication, I appreciated that. Like he said, it's in his best interest to keep me medicated (not in those exact words, but the general idea). I agree.
We finished up and went home. I took a short nap and we went to Denny's for dinner. Ron wanted some soup and a salad. I had a chicken sandwich but it didn't really agree with my lithium (I take my "big pills" at night).
We came home. Ron went straight to bed without even looking at his vodka.
It confirms my theory: it is better to keep Ron busy. If he is busy he isn't drinking. That doesn't mean I can control his drinking, but it's probably better for us both (we both, clearly, suffer from depression) to get out more.
My headache never came back, thank God. I was very happy about that. The cats are good.
We should be getting some cold (for us) weather next week. Lows in the 20's and 30's, highs in the 50's.
We have to go back to Walmart Wednesday to get my Depakote, and pay the electric bill. But other than that we got a lot done today.
I'm tired. I will call my Dad in about half an hour. He might still be on vacation. If he's not, he's not, but I don't want to "bother" him. Dad's the kind of guy who likes a phone call (at least from me) at a specific time every week.
Anyway, that's it for now.
Migraine
Nasty migraine today. Today is the only day Jack can help us, though, so I have to go get our inventory. The Excedrin is doing a pretty good job, I brought more for when it wears off.
Hopefully the day won't suck too bad.
Hopefully the day won't suck too bad.
Friday, January 12, 2018
I need a nap
Ron, having 2 days off in a row, decided to stay drunk for the entirety of them. He was OK the first day. The second, not so much.
Last night he kept making racket and shouting for me. He was convinced the heater was broken, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. He needed help with his pants. And other things I ignored.
He wandered around all over the house in his wheelchair. So much so I took my medication off my table and hid it in my bedroom. I didn't want him knocking it over.
He shouted at 1 AM. I told him, very nicely, to stop. I was so impressed with my "class" I thanked God for it. Because the fishwife in me wanted to shriek at him and bop him over the head. When he woke me up at 3, I was a little firmer but still civil. He was pretty quiet after that.
When I got up around 8, he was awake and asked me about the heater again. I assured him it is working. It is. It's a great heater, if I ever left I would want to take it with me (it's half the size of a room). Great heater.
I brushed my teeth, checked my blood sugar (103) and fed Biscuit. I filled up the cats' water bowl. Ron came out. I "Pointed" him at Biscuit and put his hand on Biscuit's back. He is still petting Biscuit and thinking.
I told him to please dial down the drinking today, he had kept me up all night. He scoffed at me. I told him he had been drunk for 36 hours straight. He asked me what day it was, I told him, Friday. He just said "OH".
And this is just one reason Ron needs to work. If he isn't working he gets into trouble. If he isn't taking me places, he gets into trouble. Sitting at home = trouble.
I had a headache (not a surprise!) so I took 3 aspirin with my diet Mountain Dew. That worked pretty well on the headache. I don't dare take my antidepressant though, because I can feel a tightness lurking, and if I took the antidepressant, it would clamp down into a migraine. I've had some practice. Been taking this for 8 years now.
So Ron is quiet, albeit a huge obstacle in the hallway. He pet Biscuit so much Baby Girl got jealous. Pretty funny, she always plays "hard to pet".
Not sure what I'm doing today, but I will take my shower and do my God Time. Just for fun, ever since it got cold I stopped shaving my legs. . They are pretty impressive now. At first glance, they look like "man" legs. But it's one less hassle for me. I will, of course, start shaving them when the weather gets warm and the capris come out of the closet, but for now it is my little secret.
It sure takes a lot less time in the shower if I'm not shaving them.
Hopefully Ron will go to bed and sleep for a while, I need a break. After last night, I also need a nap.
Last night he kept making racket and shouting for me. He was convinced the heater was broken, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. He needed help with his pants. And other things I ignored.
He wandered around all over the house in his wheelchair. So much so I took my medication off my table and hid it in my bedroom. I didn't want him knocking it over.
He shouted at 1 AM. I told him, very nicely, to stop. I was so impressed with my "class" I thanked God for it. Because the fishwife in me wanted to shriek at him and bop him over the head. When he woke me up at 3, I was a little firmer but still civil. He was pretty quiet after that.
When I got up around 8, he was awake and asked me about the heater again. I assured him it is working. It is. It's a great heater, if I ever left I would want to take it with me (it's half the size of a room). Great heater.
I brushed my teeth, checked my blood sugar (103) and fed Biscuit. I filled up the cats' water bowl. Ron came out. I "Pointed" him at Biscuit and put his hand on Biscuit's back. He is still petting Biscuit and thinking.
I told him to please dial down the drinking today, he had kept me up all night. He scoffed at me. I told him he had been drunk for 36 hours straight. He asked me what day it was, I told him, Friday. He just said "OH".
And this is just one reason Ron needs to work. If he isn't working he gets into trouble. If he isn't taking me places, he gets into trouble. Sitting at home = trouble.
I had a headache (not a surprise!) so I took 3 aspirin with my diet Mountain Dew. That worked pretty well on the headache. I don't dare take my antidepressant though, because I can feel a tightness lurking, and if I took the antidepressant, it would clamp down into a migraine. I've had some practice. Been taking this for 8 years now.
So Ron is quiet, albeit a huge obstacle in the hallway. He pet Biscuit so much Baby Girl got jealous. Pretty funny, she always plays "hard to pet".
Not sure what I'm doing today, but I will take my shower and do my God Time. Just for fun, ever since it got cold I stopped shaving my legs. . They are pretty impressive now. At first glance, they look like "man" legs. But it's one less hassle for me. I will, of course, start shaving them when the weather gets warm and the capris come out of the closet, but for now it is my little secret.
It sure takes a lot less time in the shower if I'm not shaving them.
Hopefully Ron will go to bed and sleep for a while, I need a break. After last night, I also need a nap.
Thursday, January 11, 2018
A lot about bleach
Well, he was quiet. Mostly. But Ron has spent most of the day on the floor, getting up every several hours to "top up". Pretty sure this is a new low for him; but he's quiet and hasn't made any messes.
Y'all on me to leave him. I don't think it will come to that. At the rate he is going he will kill himself before I even have a chance to leave him.
I did some more cleaning. I think I have a teeny-tiny mania. Just a smidge, nothing like what I used to have, but underneath it all I have a tiny bit of a revved feeling. So I put it to work with cleaning, which was mainly getting rid of trash.
Example: my water bottle. I make Crystal Light drinks in it, as it is 2 quarts. I put the large packet, 2 quarts of water, and drink that for a while. On a good day I drink 4 of them, so 2 gallons.
But it developed mold. I tried scrubbing it out but it didn't work very well. It was still "gross" and probably a hazard to my health. Last night I finally put some bleach into it and filled it with water. I let it stand for several hours, then flipped it over so it could clean the top part, too. Today all I had to do was rinse it out, but it still tastes bleachey. I guess I used too much bleach. I rinsed it really well so there's no residual bleach.
That would be a hell of a thing, to accidentally kill myself. And no one would believe it was an accident.
I just took a drink off my water bottle. Tea, with a subtle undertone of bleach. OK, next time I won't use so much bleach, but it looked awful. I wouldn't let Ron drink out of it but I was using it every day.
I don't take care of myself!
So, I slept OK except for strange noises from Ron every now and then. I also heard him rolling up and down the hall to get more vodka. At the rate he's going, I'm surprised he has any vodka left.
I woke up around 8, I had Biscuit in my bed. He was cute and cuddly. "We" fed him, and I checked my blood sugar, which was OK. About 109 I think.
I took a shower and did my God Time. Torbie joined me during my God Time, curling up against my leg on the couch. I found it very sweet.
I took a nap afterward, and called her up into the bed with me. She laid down on my leg and I stayed, frozen, in a very uncomfortable position, for about an hour. She finally moved, but not far, just off to the side on a nice fold of blankets. I had a good nap after that, except for Ron dragging himself off to get more vodka.
I got up and did some cleaning, and watched a little TV, but I didn't like what was on so I left it on and went into the other room. Ron made some noise in the back a couple minutes ago but I'm not interacting with him when he's drunk, if I can avoid it.
I had a bowl of cereal for dinner. I ate some salt first, because Doc was pretty clear I need to keep my salt intake up. I could get really sick if I don't. Amazingly, the lithium, salt, milk, and cereal all get along agreeably in my stomach.
I'm listening to some music and trying to have a good time. I can't let Ron suck me down his rabbit hole of depression and alcoholism. It rained today so I couldn't go out, but I might, tomorrow.
Ron didn't want to go anywhere tomorrow so he didn't make any trips. I don't know if he was capable, anyway. I guess he will spend tomorrow drinking himself onto the floor, as well.
One time he told me he was lonely and I never spent any time with him. Well, I can't. He's always drunk. I am happy to spend quality sober time with him but he's never sober.
It will be colder tomorrow so I may stay home, I may go. I have the bus pass and the bus route running nearby (about half a mile away). If I go, I will probably miss my nap but it may be worth it.
Ron will have to take me to Walmart on Saturday to get my medication. It should be in by now.
Y'all on me to leave him. I don't think it will come to that. At the rate he is going he will kill himself before I even have a chance to leave him.
I did some more cleaning. I think I have a teeny-tiny mania. Just a smidge, nothing like what I used to have, but underneath it all I have a tiny bit of a revved feeling. So I put it to work with cleaning, which was mainly getting rid of trash.
Example: my water bottle. I make Crystal Light drinks in it, as it is 2 quarts. I put the large packet, 2 quarts of water, and drink that for a while. On a good day I drink 4 of them, so 2 gallons.
But it developed mold. I tried scrubbing it out but it didn't work very well. It was still "gross" and probably a hazard to my health. Last night I finally put some bleach into it and filled it with water. I let it stand for several hours, then flipped it over so it could clean the top part, too. Today all I had to do was rinse it out, but it still tastes bleachey. I guess I used too much bleach. I rinsed it really well so there's no residual bleach.
That would be a hell of a thing, to accidentally kill myself. And no one would believe it was an accident.
I just took a drink off my water bottle. Tea, with a subtle undertone of bleach. OK, next time I won't use so much bleach, but it looked awful. I wouldn't let Ron drink out of it but I was using it every day.
I don't take care of myself!
So, I slept OK except for strange noises from Ron every now and then. I also heard him rolling up and down the hall to get more vodka. At the rate he's going, I'm surprised he has any vodka left.
I woke up around 8, I had Biscuit in my bed. He was cute and cuddly. "We" fed him, and I checked my blood sugar, which was OK. About 109 I think.
I took a shower and did my God Time. Torbie joined me during my God Time, curling up against my leg on the couch. I found it very sweet.
I took a nap afterward, and called her up into the bed with me. She laid down on my leg and I stayed, frozen, in a very uncomfortable position, for about an hour. She finally moved, but not far, just off to the side on a nice fold of blankets. I had a good nap after that, except for Ron dragging himself off to get more vodka.
I got up and did some cleaning, and watched a little TV, but I didn't like what was on so I left it on and went into the other room. Ron made some noise in the back a couple minutes ago but I'm not interacting with him when he's drunk, if I can avoid it.
I had a bowl of cereal for dinner. I ate some salt first, because Doc was pretty clear I need to keep my salt intake up. I could get really sick if I don't. Amazingly, the lithium, salt, milk, and cereal all get along agreeably in my stomach.
I'm listening to some music and trying to have a good time. I can't let Ron suck me down his rabbit hole of depression and alcoholism. It rained today so I couldn't go out, but I might, tomorrow.
Ron didn't want to go anywhere tomorrow so he didn't make any trips. I don't know if he was capable, anyway. I guess he will spend tomorrow drinking himself onto the floor, as well.
One time he told me he was lonely and I never spent any time with him. Well, I can't. He's always drunk. I am happy to spend quality sober time with him but he's never sober.
It will be colder tomorrow so I may stay home, I may go. I have the bus pass and the bus route running nearby (about half a mile away). If I go, I will probably miss my nap but it may be worth it.
Ron will have to take me to Walmart on Saturday to get my medication. It should be in by now.
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Wednesday
I slept OK last night and got up, did my routine (except my God Time). I got to sleep a little late, got up at 7:30.
When Ron got up we went to the taqueria. Some things I can't talk about but I can say I had a diet Coke, 3 breakfast tacos, bacon and egg. Ron had (??) and a couple of fajita tacos.
We had a pretty good time. Our waitress is a really sweet girl I like a lot. The boss/owner is a nice guy, very hardworking.
It's a shame they're no longer on the bus route. I have to get a ride with Ron or pay for a cab. But cabs don't like the trip because it's short and "worthless" to them. So I'm pretty much stuck with Ron.
I had a very good time. It was nice to catch a quick, cheap, breakfast. It was delicious, too.
Our ride came and we boarded. Ron was a little bit aggressive "witnessing" to the driver, I didn't feel it was appropriate to take that approach. I didn't, and won't, tell him that because he will just become more aggressive but there's a line, and I felt he crossed it.
I hadn't seen anything yet. When we got to work, we have two televisions in our area. The volume was moderately loud. Ron began raving about the volume level and demanded I turn it down. I did, and of course someone else turned it right back up. Ron got so upset (again, I felt, over the line) and rolled off to find a manager. While he was gone, he got a manager's phone number.
While he was gone, I got the drinks for the bottled vendor and started stocking them. Ron came back about when I got to the Cokes. I turned it over to him and went back to doing snacks. Eventually, Ron hid in the stockroom, away from the noise.
He has dealt with this for probably 4 years now. Why today? I can't say. Literally, I can't. But it was exhausting for me.
I got my work finished, the machine was good looking. Well, both the snack machines were good looking. I helped Ron a little with canned sodas but they honestly didn't need much.
Work put in a monster ice machine, under pressure from the unions. Great for the workers, lousy for our business. People bring in a hot can of soda from home and a glass. They put ice in the glass and pour the soda over the top. They don't want to pay the 75 cents for a cold can of our soda. Especially in the winter. So our sales suffer.
They actually tried to get us to put in the ice machine. The first time it broke (after they bought it), they actually came to me (the repairmen) and told me I had to pay someone else to fix it. I told them no, I didn't, as we only "Took care of machines that accept money. Does it take money? It's ours. If it doesn't, it's not." They were very disappointed they would have to fix it themselves. They have ongoing troubles with getting the machine to work, but I notice our sales do go up when the machine is down.
Oh, well. It's a draw; it gets people into our area. Maybe they will buy a bag of Cheetos or something.
We finally finished up and went home. Ron was feeling ill. He made it home without getting sick. I ate a bowl of cereal and took my medication, it was about 3 PM.
Then I took a nap for a while. I know Torbie was in there for a while, and Biscuit finished it with me. I got up and did some cleaning, talked to Ron, who was feeling better. He is watching his favorite movie, again. Happily he doesn't ask me to watch it with him, every time.
We have tomorrow off; it's supposed to rain. We'll see. I remain skeptical if it will but the weather people seem pretty convinced.
I just hope I get a quiet and peaceful day off.
When Ron got up we went to the taqueria. Some things I can't talk about but I can say I had a diet Coke, 3 breakfast tacos, bacon and egg. Ron had (??) and a couple of fajita tacos.
We had a pretty good time. Our waitress is a really sweet girl I like a lot. The boss/owner is a nice guy, very hardworking.
It's a shame they're no longer on the bus route. I have to get a ride with Ron or pay for a cab. But cabs don't like the trip because it's short and "worthless" to them. So I'm pretty much stuck with Ron.
I had a very good time. It was nice to catch a quick, cheap, breakfast. It was delicious, too.
Our ride came and we boarded. Ron was a little bit aggressive "witnessing" to the driver, I didn't feel it was appropriate to take that approach. I didn't, and won't, tell him that because he will just become more aggressive but there's a line, and I felt he crossed it.
I hadn't seen anything yet. When we got to work, we have two televisions in our area. The volume was moderately loud. Ron began raving about the volume level and demanded I turn it down. I did, and of course someone else turned it right back up. Ron got so upset (again, I felt, over the line) and rolled off to find a manager. While he was gone, he got a manager's phone number.
While he was gone, I got the drinks for the bottled vendor and started stocking them. Ron came back about when I got to the Cokes. I turned it over to him and went back to doing snacks. Eventually, Ron hid in the stockroom, away from the noise.
He has dealt with this for probably 4 years now. Why today? I can't say. Literally, I can't. But it was exhausting for me.
I got my work finished, the machine was good looking. Well, both the snack machines were good looking. I helped Ron a little with canned sodas but they honestly didn't need much.
Work put in a monster ice machine, under pressure from the unions. Great for the workers, lousy for our business. People bring in a hot can of soda from home and a glass. They put ice in the glass and pour the soda over the top. They don't want to pay the 75 cents for a cold can of our soda. Especially in the winter. So our sales suffer.
They actually tried to get us to put in the ice machine. The first time it broke (after they bought it), they actually came to me (the repairmen) and told me I had to pay someone else to fix it. I told them no, I didn't, as we only "Took care of machines that accept money. Does it take money? It's ours. If it doesn't, it's not." They were very disappointed they would have to fix it themselves. They have ongoing troubles with getting the machine to work, but I notice our sales do go up when the machine is down.
Oh, well. It's a draw; it gets people into our area. Maybe they will buy a bag of Cheetos or something.
We finally finished up and went home. Ron was feeling ill. He made it home without getting sick. I ate a bowl of cereal and took my medication, it was about 3 PM.
Then I took a nap for a while. I know Torbie was in there for a while, and Biscuit finished it with me. I got up and did some cleaning, talked to Ron, who was feeling better. He is watching his favorite movie, again. Happily he doesn't ask me to watch it with him, every time.
We have tomorrow off; it's supposed to rain. We'll see. I remain skeptical if it will but the weather people seem pretty convinced.
I just hope I get a quiet and peaceful day off.
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
"Heather has a mood disorder"
Today went pretty well.
Ron didn't want to take me to my doctor. I'm trying not to be hurt by that. Doc is not on a bus line.
Instead, Ron gave me a wad of cash and called Alex the cab driver. Alex was thrilled when he heard about the trip.
Today I got up early, did some computer, and took my shower. I got dressed and watched a little TV. Alex showed up right on time and I went out. He was surprised I was traveling alone, but happy he didn't have to deal with the wheelchair (I think).
I gave him the address and he put it into his GPS. It was a long trip and Alex made some money!
He told me he would wait, which was awesome. I was secretly terrified he would ditch me and I would be frantically trying to get a ride home.
I went into the office. Everyone seemed very normal, as they always do. One girl had makeup caked on over really bad acne, I felt bad for her. Lithium can cause acne, or makeup, for that matter.
I don't know if I've shared this, but I had terrible acne in my teens, I had the cystic kind that got infected. If you look at my skin, very close up, I have some marks. It's not bad, though. I figured out Vitamin A on my own. My skin is great as long as I take a couple of Vitamin A capsules every day. If I stop taking them I get abscesses and acne. I wish I could have told her about Vitamin A.
They called my name. I went back. I talked to the medical student and then Doc came in. "Heather has a mood disorder" he told her.
Damned straight I do. I told him about the time I felt roaches crawling in my hair. He said that is more common with cocaine abuse but can happen with psychotic mental illness. We talked about my medication, and my next blood test.
He was really shocked he didn't need to write an order for the blood test, but I can just walk into Any Lab Test Now and ask for the blood tests, as long as I pay for them myself. Last I checked, a lithium and a chemistry panel (he likes that set of tests) run about $100. I told him, due to finances, I would have to do it next month, he said that was fine. It hasn't even been a year since my last blood test.
We talked a little more and I left. I got my prescriptions sent electronically, and set up my next appointment. I went out and there's Alex, waiting in a parking spot right by the door. Awesome.
We took a different route home but I didn't care. When we got home I paid him again and gave him a tip, and some money for waiting. Hey, the man works by the hour.
And I can't tell you how important it is for me to have a good, reliable cab driver. Especially if Ron is not "helping" with paratransit. And Doc isn't on a bus line.
I have given some serious consideration to finding a new doctor. I doubt Ron will ever want to take me to the doctor, and I doubt his willingness to spend $$ on cab fare for me, four times a year. It would certainly help my independence if I didn't have to go begging to him for cab fare and rides.
But he's my doctor. He has decades of clinical experience. Do I want to lose that just because Ron is being a jackass? I need to give it some serious thought.
Too bad Doc can't move on my bus route. But he likes the nice neighborhood, which isn't on the bus line. I am certain the bus line never entered his mind when he was shopping for a new location.
[sigh]
When Doc asked me how I was feeling, I told him "pretty good, considering". I felt that was true. I've been depressed today - I'm just in pain over watching Ron drink himself to death. It's horrible. But I can't stop it.
However, people in my life do know about Ron's problem so I've got that. No one (except maybe a commenter or two) blame me for his drinking.
I was watching TV and they were talking about how prefrontal brain injuries cause and amplify addiction issues. Ron absolutely had prefrontal brain damage in the accident. It turned a problem drinker into a full blown alcoholic.
Sometimes I wonder if, when Ron dies, the authorities will charge the driver will manslaughter. As far as I'm concerned he did kill Ron.
How's that for depressing?
Ron did finally agree to take me out for breakfast tomorrow, before we got to work. It's supposed to rain Thursday but the weather guys have been extremely unreliable lately so we'll see.
At least I get a guaranteed trip to Walmart when my pills come in, although I doubt I will have much to spend after buying my medication. I asked them for a 3 month refill.
Ron didn't want to take me to my doctor. I'm trying not to be hurt by that. Doc is not on a bus line.
Instead, Ron gave me a wad of cash and called Alex the cab driver. Alex was thrilled when he heard about the trip.
Today I got up early, did some computer, and took my shower. I got dressed and watched a little TV. Alex showed up right on time and I went out. He was surprised I was traveling alone, but happy he didn't have to deal with the wheelchair (I think).
I gave him the address and he put it into his GPS. It was a long trip and Alex made some money!
He told me he would wait, which was awesome. I was secretly terrified he would ditch me and I would be frantically trying to get a ride home.
I went into the office. Everyone seemed very normal, as they always do. One girl had makeup caked on over really bad acne, I felt bad for her. Lithium can cause acne, or makeup, for that matter.
I don't know if I've shared this, but I had terrible acne in my teens, I had the cystic kind that got infected. If you look at my skin, very close up, I have some marks. It's not bad, though. I figured out Vitamin A on my own. My skin is great as long as I take a couple of Vitamin A capsules every day. If I stop taking them I get abscesses and acne. I wish I could have told her about Vitamin A.
They called my name. I went back. I talked to the medical student and then Doc came in. "Heather has a mood disorder" he told her.
Damned straight I do. I told him about the time I felt roaches crawling in my hair. He said that is more common with cocaine abuse but can happen with psychotic mental illness. We talked about my medication, and my next blood test.
He was really shocked he didn't need to write an order for the blood test, but I can just walk into Any Lab Test Now and ask for the blood tests, as long as I pay for them myself. Last I checked, a lithium and a chemistry panel (he likes that set of tests) run about $100. I told him, due to finances, I would have to do it next month, he said that was fine. It hasn't even been a year since my last blood test.
We talked a little more and I left. I got my prescriptions sent electronically, and set up my next appointment. I went out and there's Alex, waiting in a parking spot right by the door. Awesome.
We took a different route home but I didn't care. When we got home I paid him again and gave him a tip, and some money for waiting. Hey, the man works by the hour.
And I can't tell you how important it is for me to have a good, reliable cab driver. Especially if Ron is not "helping" with paratransit. And Doc isn't on a bus line.
I have given some serious consideration to finding a new doctor. I doubt Ron will ever want to take me to the doctor, and I doubt his willingness to spend $$ on cab fare for me, four times a year. It would certainly help my independence if I didn't have to go begging to him for cab fare and rides.
But he's my doctor. He has decades of clinical experience. Do I want to lose that just because Ron is being a jackass? I need to give it some serious thought.
Too bad Doc can't move on my bus route. But he likes the nice neighborhood, which isn't on the bus line. I am certain the bus line never entered his mind when he was shopping for a new location.
[sigh]
When Doc asked me how I was feeling, I told him "pretty good, considering". I felt that was true. I've been depressed today - I'm just in pain over watching Ron drink himself to death. It's horrible. But I can't stop it.
However, people in my life do know about Ron's problem so I've got that. No one (except maybe a commenter or two) blame me for his drinking.
I was watching TV and they were talking about how prefrontal brain injuries cause and amplify addiction issues. Ron absolutely had prefrontal brain damage in the accident. It turned a problem drinker into a full blown alcoholic.
Sometimes I wonder if, when Ron dies, the authorities will charge the driver will manslaughter. As far as I'm concerned he did kill Ron.
How's that for depressing?
Ron did finally agree to take me out for breakfast tomorrow, before we got to work. It's supposed to rain Thursday but the weather guys have been extremely unreliable lately so we'll see.
At least I get a guaranteed trip to Walmart when my pills come in, although I doubt I will have much to spend after buying my medication. I asked them for a 3 month refill.
Monday, January 8, 2018
Monday madness
Ron woke me up repeatedly last night, and woke up in a really foul mood. Great, I thought, this is just going to be a great day.
We got ready and went to work. Ron didn't want to change and he looked it. I decided I didn't care if that "reflected badly" on me. It was Ron's choice, not mine, and it made him look bad. But we all know everyone who saw him judged me.
Things were slow, I hardly needed to stock. The other vendor's guy mentioned they were slow too. One woman yelled at me because I hadn't stocked the cheetos yet. Then started asking a bunch of very intrusive questions about our schedule last week.
We finished up and went home. I took a short nap. Ron was gracious enough to "let" me sleep this time. I got up at 12 and got ready to go to Walmart. I had to make a deposit, I had to buy some stuff, so Ron arranged a trip to Walmart. He didn't make it long enough so I only had about 40 minutes.
I forgot about buying my preloaded debit card. I want to get one for my Google account. If they get hacked, I don't want my debit card getting out. It would be a huge hassle to change all my auto-pays. Plus, it's my account. So I want to get a prepaid something and use that so if it gets hacked they only get $4-5.
I would not have enough time to get one, so I didn't even consider it.
I went with other things on my list, a small dayplanner, aspirin, candy for the doctor's office (I'm going tomorrow, to my psychiatrist), tea for Ron, Diet Mountain Dew for me, and some chips.
I also made my deposit, I almost forgot my auto-pays. I don't need my cell phone payment bouncing. Or the other stuff.
I got all that done, 95% of what I had come in to do. I settled for that. I will be back in a couple of days for my medication. We also need to pay the electric bill. The bill hasn't come yet so we can't, but hopefully it comes at or around the time my pills are done. Then we can do both in one trip.
Ron arranged a trip with Alex the cab driver for me to go to Doc and back, tomorrow. The cab fare won't be cheap but to him it is "worth it" not to "have" to go with me to my doctor. I try, really hard, not to be hurt.
I also have to shake my head at Ron treating me, often, badly, and then throwing me at other men. It's a good thing I'm a moral woman.
Oh, something fun. I was coming out of work today with my hand cart, going to get sandwiches. I found a young man standing on the ramp. He got out of the way and said "Go, on, Boo." I went. "Oh, you're a cutie!" he exclaimed as I passed him by. It made my day, he seemed very sincere.
I can appreciate flattery without being a home-wrecker. It was nice to hear a compliment for a change. Ron will compliment me on how I help him, what an asset to the business, I do a lot for him. But never personal compliments about my hair or whatever. Admittedly, he's blind, but would it kill him to admire my hair or something?
I try not to be resentful. It doesn't do any good.
So, we finished up at Walmart. I came home and bagged up more candy. Then I stripped the sheets off Ron's bed (filthy) and put them in to soak with some pretreater. Then I will run a load with some Tide to get the stains out. I made the bed. Biscuit "helped" by getting in the way at every possible opportunity. He was quite hurt when I pushed him off the bed.
Then I tried to trim Baby Girl's mats. That resulted in some very bad language from her, and swatting at me with no-claws, just a warning. So we will have to take her to the vet. It's going to be at least a 2-3 person job. She isn't raw or anything but the mats go right down to the skin.
I wonder why she, of all the cats I've had, is prone, and only after 5 years. Is she just lazy on her grooming? Or is it a genetic thing? I don't know.
Torbie and Biscuit look like models, albeit very chubby ones. Their fur is perfectly groomed and smooth. So it's not the food.
Now Ron wants to get some dinner. He got pretty drunk and is listening to music on his talking book machine. You can put music on a flash drive and jack it into a port on the side of the machine, and it acts like a stereo.
What else? I didn't check my blood sugar this morning. I was tired and I didn't want to stick a needle in my finger. The lancet does a good job of getting the blood without much pain, but it still stings, and then I have to deal with the blood because I always have more (blood) than I need. I am getting pretty good at wiping up with my rubbing alcohol wipe, though.
I only use 2 fingers, though. I find that funny that I'm inclined toward my left middle and pinky fingers. Other fingers just don't feel right. Mm. That could be misinterpreted.
Anyway, I get to get up later tomorrow because my appointment isn't until 11:15. I should be home by a little after noon so I can get a nap.
Our ride's coming in 10 minutes. I'd better get ready.
We got ready and went to work. Ron didn't want to change and he looked it. I decided I didn't care if that "reflected badly" on me. It was Ron's choice, not mine, and it made him look bad. But we all know everyone who saw him judged me.
Things were slow, I hardly needed to stock. The other vendor's guy mentioned they were slow too. One woman yelled at me because I hadn't stocked the cheetos yet. Then started asking a bunch of very intrusive questions about our schedule last week.
We finished up and went home. I took a short nap. Ron was gracious enough to "let" me sleep this time. I got up at 12 and got ready to go to Walmart. I had to make a deposit, I had to buy some stuff, so Ron arranged a trip to Walmart. He didn't make it long enough so I only had about 40 minutes.
I forgot about buying my preloaded debit card. I want to get one for my Google account. If they get hacked, I don't want my debit card getting out. It would be a huge hassle to change all my auto-pays. Plus, it's my account. So I want to get a prepaid something and use that so if it gets hacked they only get $4-5.
I would not have enough time to get one, so I didn't even consider it.
I went with other things on my list, a small dayplanner, aspirin, candy for the doctor's office (I'm going tomorrow, to my psychiatrist), tea for Ron, Diet Mountain Dew for me, and some chips.
I also made my deposit, I almost forgot my auto-pays. I don't need my cell phone payment bouncing. Or the other stuff.
I got all that done, 95% of what I had come in to do. I settled for that. I will be back in a couple of days for my medication. We also need to pay the electric bill. The bill hasn't come yet so we can't, but hopefully it comes at or around the time my pills are done. Then we can do both in one trip.
Ron arranged a trip with Alex the cab driver for me to go to Doc and back, tomorrow. The cab fare won't be cheap but to him it is "worth it" not to "have" to go with me to my doctor. I try, really hard, not to be hurt.
I also have to shake my head at Ron treating me, often, badly, and then throwing me at other men. It's a good thing I'm a moral woman.
Oh, something fun. I was coming out of work today with my hand cart, going to get sandwiches. I found a young man standing on the ramp. He got out of the way and said "Go, on, Boo." I went. "Oh, you're a cutie!" he exclaimed as I passed him by. It made my day, he seemed very sincere.
I can appreciate flattery without being a home-wrecker. It was nice to hear a compliment for a change. Ron will compliment me on how I help him, what an asset to the business, I do a lot for him. But never personal compliments about my hair or whatever. Admittedly, he's blind, but would it kill him to admire my hair or something?
I try not to be resentful. It doesn't do any good.
So, we finished up at Walmart. I came home and bagged up more candy. Then I stripped the sheets off Ron's bed (filthy) and put them in to soak with some pretreater. Then I will run a load with some Tide to get the stains out. I made the bed. Biscuit "helped" by getting in the way at every possible opportunity. He was quite hurt when I pushed him off the bed.
Then I tried to trim Baby Girl's mats. That resulted in some very bad language from her, and swatting at me with no-claws, just a warning. So we will have to take her to the vet. It's going to be at least a 2-3 person job. She isn't raw or anything but the mats go right down to the skin.
I wonder why she, of all the cats I've had, is prone, and only after 5 years. Is she just lazy on her grooming? Or is it a genetic thing? I don't know.
Torbie and Biscuit look like models, albeit very chubby ones. Their fur is perfectly groomed and smooth. So it's not the food.
Now Ron wants to get some dinner. He got pretty drunk and is listening to music on his talking book machine. You can put music on a flash drive and jack it into a port on the side of the machine, and it acts like a stereo.
What else? I didn't check my blood sugar this morning. I was tired and I didn't want to stick a needle in my finger. The lancet does a good job of getting the blood without much pain, but it still stings, and then I have to deal with the blood because I always have more (blood) than I need. I am getting pretty good at wiping up with my rubbing alcohol wipe, though.
I only use 2 fingers, though. I find that funny that I'm inclined toward my left middle and pinky fingers. Other fingers just don't feel right. Mm. That could be misinterpreted.
Anyway, I get to get up later tomorrow because my appointment isn't until 11:15. I should be home by a little after noon so I can get a nap.
Our ride's coming in 10 minutes. I'd better get ready.
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