Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Just another day at the office

I went to bed early, as I tend to do when I can, so I could get a good night of rest.  Ron made some noise, waking me up several times, but I managed to sleep through most of it. 

When I woke up, I found Ron passed out, under the upended kitty condo (I pray no cats were on it at the time), Ron's bed pulled feet away from the wall (and the frame doesn't have wheels), Ron's wheelchair thrown against the wall, in between the bed and the wall. 

The rest of his room was trashed.  I can't talk about some of it but I wished I could have taken a photo for you. 

Another blackout: just another day at the office. 

I was awake at 3, an hour before my alarm, and I just decided to roll with it.  What was the point of going back to bed just to get up again?  I took a shower and did my God Time. 

I really didn't want to wake Ron up, he gets very hostile.  He woke up on his own, thank God.  He got angry at me.  Why didn't I stop him from trashing his room? 

"Because you would have beaten me up."  He didn't deny it, and that made me angrier than anything.  He was in a very hostile, angry, bitter mood.  He kept screaming invective at God. 

I don't know what God had to do with Ron pouring too much vodka down his throat.  "I was only trying to sleep" Ron whined. 

"It's funny" I said casually, aware he could snap at any minute.  "When you were in the rehab hospital you never needed anything to sleep, and you weren't drinking either."   He didn't deny it. 

I told him he had to change his entire outfit, and left him alone.  A little before our pickup time I looked in on him, he was dressed in clean clothes and was putting his shoes on.  He was still belligerent but mostly ready to go. 

Ron doesn't like to be ready on time.  He has this attitude "You can't make me come out".  He sees a person expecting punctuality as "dominating".  So he took his sweet time putting on his waist pack and getting into his wheelchair (which he managed to get out on his own).  In the meantime, the van, with another passenger trying to go to work, was waiting patiently in the driveway. 

We went to another client's house and picked up a "slow" man in a wheelchair.  We tried to take him to his workshop (daycare) but it wouldn't even open for an hour.  Families do that. 

Instead of saying "He needs an appointment time of 8" and getting him picked up at 7, they say "Give me a pickup time of 6" and leave the paratransit company to babysit him for 2 hours before the "workshop" opens.  If they do that before and after the workshop, they get 4 hours of free babysitting in addition to all the time spent at the workshop.  And they're still getting paid to take care of 'em. 

Ensue all kinds of drama, we couldn't leave the man, but she couldn't leave until she had permission to leave.  She finally got permission to take us to work. 

We barely got to work in time to get the carts out and ready for sandwiches.  We got our delivery.  It was $30, it was supposed to be $20.  Ron will have to call and sort that out.  He was too aggressive to do it today. 

He was barely civil to the customers, but passable.  I worked my tail off stocking.  Ron told me I could take $65 out of a vending machine and keep it, because my repair worked.  Saved Ron some money. 

Too bad I can't make him up a receipt to write it off. 

Eventually, we did it all and came home.  Ron began drinking immediately.  Ron knew I was tired and needed a nap; he proceeded to make a lot of noise and curse me out when I protested.  As if that wasn't enough, the dog behind us got upset about something and barked a lot. 

Now we're going to go grab a fast food dinner. 

Tomorrow we need to do a big supply run.  Here's to hoping he "lets" me sleep tonight. 

I wish I could be more positive - uplifting, spiritual - but this is all I got, gang.  Sorry. 


Anonymous said...

So it looks like 2017 is going to be worse in terms of behavior from Ron. I guess that is god's wish for you since you believe that he is the one orchestrating your entire life. What a sad reality for you.

The fact that you are using god as an excuse to stay in this abusive situation is terrible. I hope that this year you can try and find a new job so that you have options, rather than just staying stuck.

Why you refuse to apply for disability for yourself is something that continues to baffle me. You would more than qualify and it would afford you some piece of mind for the future. Wouldn't you also have access to para-transit yourself if you applied and received the disability?

You are a nice person Heather. a little twister when it comes to the god stuff and the pain you believe he has introduced into your life for whatever unknown reason.

You do not deserve this. I believe that Ron would be a better person in full time nursing home care. Maybe it would be best for both of you.

P.S. I hope you did not clean up his room which I am sure involved some disgusting urine and fecal matter based on the blackout you describe. It is becoming unsafe even for the cats to be around this man in his inebriated stupor. If you can't do it for yourself then do it for them. They are animals and have no choice in the matter.

Anonymous said...

You sound resigned to kind of life. It sounds to me like you live in a very dangerous home. There is help out there, but you may have to break your pride and ask for help. You cannot help Ron by ignoring the violent behaviors. Please, get some help. Pretty soon Ron won't be able to run the business, and maybe that is what he wants, an excuse to get out. He certainly could be on disability. He can't live there without you...get some help.

Heather Knits said...

I already applied for paratransit on my own, because I am able to ride the bus independently I don't quality. Now, plenty are riding paratransit who can ride the bus on their own, can drive a vehicle, own a vehicle that they drive occasionally, and even walk long distances pulling a heavy handcart, but in my case they said no. Ron says it is reverse racism. I don't know about that.

Happy to report, no fecal matter that I found but the room has a terrible odor and some new stains on the carpet. I didn't help him clean, I just put a small Febreeze in there.

The cats are fine. They just avoid Ron when he is having a blackout, or they manipulate him with pathetic meows. He feels sorry for them and gives them too many treats. They come back in a couple minutes, howling, and get more. They are a lot better off than they were when we got them - all of them homeless and starving. Now they are fat and happy.

Frankly, I think the cats feel sorry for Ron.

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for Ron too he is missing out on a hell of a good life with you Heather and I am so sorry!

Anonymous said...

You can appeal their decision for the para-transit. They want you to try once and give up.

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