"Give the man a beer!"
He finally woke up around noon, felt pretty good, kept saying how sad it was that he felt so good, to be normal. I said, I get it. I get migraines. I understand. He disregarded what I said.
We arranged to take a cab to Walmart to turn in his prescriptions and pick them up. I had him in the wheelchair. I put the wheelchair away and took it out.
We tend to acquire older drivers with back issues.
We went into the very busy store. They will not be closing it any time soon.
We went to the pharmacy and turned in the prescription. They said it would be half an hour. Not bad for a Saturday afternoon.
Even better when it only cost $32 for everything. We called our driver and got ready to leave.
We talked some about the blackouts he had while taking Neurotin, several years ago. I basically showed him my scars. He was really shocked the memories were so vivid. He assured me he would be very careful with his drinking and there would not be any blackouts.
But I've heard that before.
I told Ron I would like to get some BBQ, we never got a chance to have a "real" birthday or anniversary dinner. He agreed, the driver agreed, and we went out to a very good BBQ place not far from the Walmart. They have a really good cheesecake and an exceptional smoked turkey.
Ron was in his wheelchair. When we got into the restaurant he ordered his food, then started "begging" for a beer. I told him I didn't see any. The employee told me where to get it. I had already pushed the wheelchair past the cooler so I joked, "OH, I'm already past it, too late".
Ron kept begging for a beer. By now I was getting pissed. He did this before at another restaurant and someone yelled at me. Ron kept crowing about how the man had yelled at me to "Get the man a beer!"
I kept pushing him toward the register. The employee shouted at me to get Ron a beer.
Ron smirked. I shook my head. The man yelled at me again.
I am sorry to admit I caved and got Ron a beer.
When we got to the table, I let him have it. I told him I was sick of his little game of begging for beer and trying to "shame" me into breaking my rule of never providing him with alcohol. If he wants validation, I think, he should go to a bar, but stop begging like an alcoholic.
In fact, I will remind him it makes him "look like an alcoholic". Ron is very proud and doesn't want to be seen "that way" so maybe that will help.
I continued. I told Ron, I would never buy him beer again. Tomorrow I will tell him, if he starts begging for beer I will loudly discuss his behavior during a blackout, and I know he doesn't want that getting out.
I was furious. I don't appreciate him manipulating other people into "shaming" behavior to support his habit. As far as I was concerned, he ruined a perfectly good dinner.
I'm still trying to forgive him.
I am doing everything I can to be strong, set good boundaries, and support him in healthy ways.
I just wish he could respect that.