Anyone's problem

Last night, I got a double bonus.  As you know, I'm battling depression.  Dire sales haven't helped. 

I've also had trouble dropping off to sleep.  For whatever reason, I am basically getting manic right before bedtime.  I'm not consuming caffeine.  I just lie in bed, tossing and turning, getting up to pee every 10 minutes (thank you lithium carbonate). 

Last night, I lay down.  All of a sudden I felt a flying, furry, rocket jump into my bed, meowing urgently.  She (Torbie) then lay on top of me, purring as I petted her with my free hand (not easy, I was lying on my side).   I woke up hours later, Torbie lying on her beloved wool blanket at my side.  I woke up hours after that, I had rolled over and thrown a (rather meaty, I'm afraid) leg over her.  I moved it quickly and she didn't even budge. 

I slept great. 

I got up, took my shower, and did my God Time.  Torbie sat with me while I did some of it, and got a treat or two.  Our ride was late but we made it to Doc's in time.  It's a long ride, I wasn't sure we'd make it. 

The copay (candy) was a big hit.  A woman called me back to the office.  Doc likes to see Ron so he tottered along with me. 

I sat down and gave her the basics of my condition: bipolar type one, rapid cycling, mixed, psychotic features.  We were just getting into medications when Doc showed up.  He grinned at her "You didn't believe me when I told you about her, did you?"  She nodded. 

"Most patients don't even know what they're taking, much less the doses!"  Well. 

It was nice to hear that I'm "cool" - the informed, medication-compliant, sober-living, "very stable" patient.  Apparently that's a BFD in the psychiatric community.  [shrug]  I just know me, what I do, and I don't want to be anyone's problem. 

My birth mother died, essentially homeless, on a motel floor with a 2 liter bottle of vodka on the nightstand.  I don't want to end that way. 

When I got home I posted some of this on my Facebook, and my friend the teaching psychologist said she uses me as a case study for a positive outcome with bipolar disorder. 

I thought that was completely awesome.