It's not worth it!

Ron is raving. 

I hadn't planned to do a blog today but I have more energy now. 

Ugh.  There he goes in the "liquor cabinet".  He drinks a lot more when he's upset. 

What started all this?  Well, the guys want to paint our house. 

[I haven't said a word to him in ages and he's still raving.  I wish I could say it is a head injury thing but he did this before the accident, raving at me for long periods of time whenever he got upset.] 

So, anyway, I told someone about this.  She mentioned "Oh, you have to tell the homeowner's assocation" 

I told her, no one in the subdivision gets "approval" for their repairs/paint.  The guy next door is a hoarder.  His yard is 3 feet tall, growing around all his piles of junk and trash.  The guy next door on the other side illegally converted his garage into 2 bedrooms. 

They do inspections every month, driving past the hoarded house.  It still looks terrible.  Do you think the "converter" submitted it for approval?  No.  Absolutelynot.  I'm sure he didn't even get city permits, either.  Good luck with the insurance company on that. 

The house behind us was flipped and rented.  They painted it a ghastly cafeaulait brown.  It had been a nice white.  Now it just looks gloomy, dirty, and depressing.  Did the flipper get approval?  No. 

Another house a block away was painted a loud mauve.  Was that approved?  I sure hope not.  It looks awful.  It is cute for about 10 seconds (and I love purple) then it's like "Get it away from me!" 

Ron was very fearful "they" would "get" us, so he called.  Now I have to submit paint chips, request for improvement, etc.  It's very aggravating.  I have to contact the guys to get a paint chip.  I would just pick one at random but they might bring it out and compare after we did the work. 

Agh. 

I find it frustrating, and I told Ron "I wish you hadn't called them for approval".  "Don't do it" he replied. 

Ron, I told him, I can't.  You have alerted them that we will be making improvments, they will be looking for it now, and we have to do it your way or they will get us in trouble. 

It's like calling a store and saying you're going to rob it. 

I told Ron, I'm frustrated.  If you hadn't made the call, I wouldn't have to email the guys.  I wouldn't have to drag your printer up here and print up the form.  I wouldn't have to fill it out, with photos no less, and mail it.  Then we wouldn't have to wait a month to see if they "would" approve it, or with what "restrictions". 

Ron got angry, threw the word "lazy" around.  That's not it.  He decided I had trapped and tricked him because I didn't tell him 50 times, I thought it was a bad idea to call the HOA.  49 times doesn't count.  I didn't say it enough different ways to make the point, either.  Only a dozen times and all weekend long. 

Huh.  If I told him something had broken he would hear it the first time. 

I don't like submitting myself to other people if I can avoid it.  The way I see it, and I know I'm wrong on this, no one else gets approval.  They let pretty much anything go.  Why should I put myself under them and give them a chance to ruin things? 

It's not like they're going to help! 

"Hey, Heather, we heard today was the big day so we decided to bring you a pizza". 

So, I got the link, sent it to the guy coordinating all this.  Asked, nicely, for a paint chip, which I will probably get on Sunday. 

I just hate dealing with petty tyrants, my husband included. 

I think the worst thing, even beyond the addiction issue, is his "I feel like you hurt me, you wounded me by disagreeing with me, it's on and it's warfare" He warps and twists simple things that really don't bother me, into a massive personal attack, akin to adultery or something.  Then he goes to war and drags out every hateful, ugly, blow he can throw, throws them all, screaming at top volume.  The only thing I can do is ignore him. 

AA says "never argue with a drunk".  I would never talk to him after 12!  He gets so much more easily upset and offended when he's drinking. 

It just baffles me that anyone would willingly put that poison into their bodies, knowing what it does.  It's like being addicted to eating drain cleaner.  It has horrific effects. 

I'm not really upset because Ron has to answer for this.  He may very well lose rewards in heaven because he treated me badly.  I don't want that for him. 

I just want him to simply agree to disagree without going on the warpath. 

It's not worth it! 

I shouldn't flinch when I hear his door open.