Wednesday and some of Thursday

 I slept OK considering but woke up pretty depressed.  I got my shower and my Bible study.  My aunt should be here in about an hour.  

I locked the cat door so the cats wouldn't torture/eat the fledge (baby mockingbird).  I hear the parent bird outside agitated so I think it is still out there.  I'm going to go look.  

I didn't see the baby but the parent bird is very concerned.  Oh, that we humans had parents like that.  

Admittedly I have good family support now but did not 40 years ago.  I'm not grudgy but I get the longing...at any rate I will be keeping the cats locked up another day.  They, surprisingly, don't seem to mind.  

That's been a big surprise.  

Years ago, must have been back in 2009-2010 I had a stray cat coming around, she would act very affectionate and then viciously bite.  She got me, and later, got Ron, even though I warned him.  He had just had hand surgery so his hand was wrapped and didn't get injured.  I was worried she would attack the neighbor kids and put everyone off my cats.  I mean, what parent wouldn't want to kill the cat that bit his child?  And most people can't tell cats apart so Bubba was at risk.  

I called animal control, they provided a trap.  I locked Bubba up for the night - he was not happy about that - and baited the trap with yummy wet food.  And I caught her, called Animal Control, showed them the bite wound, they took her away.  Bubba was positively smirking when I showed him the biter in the trap.  

And yes, I would do it again.  I have 2 rules for my cats you don't bite (going to the vet or being medicated are acceptable excuses), and you use the box.  And my cats have all understood.  Torbie did try to bite me some time back when I had to give her steroid tablets.  I don't know how I will dose her if she needs medication again as I would have Ron hold her down.  As Dad would say, cross that bridge when you come to it.  

Torbie is good at the vet; they all are except Cleo who is very "spicy".  It took 2 techs to hold her down with a net while Doc gave her the vaccines.  Forget about an exam, any cat who could fight like that and take an impressive dump on the exam table was healthy.  😂  It's funny now...

But poor Cleo hates the vet and that is partly my fault.  She was semi feral and very shy, I trapped her (used Mixed Grill wet food if you ever need to trap a cat) and took her straight to the vet.  They put her in a cage and fasted her, did the spay the next morning, while she was out they did her microchip and vaccines.  She woke up that day and was not happy.  Vet did not feel comfortable sending her home so back in the cage and kept overnight.  Next day I was allowed to come get her and I brought her in the house for the first time.  

So she doesn't like the vet at all.  Or, cages.  When I die Cleo will have to be a TNR or put down.  

She had to go back a few weeks later for stich removal (for some reason my vet does not use the glue you find at the low cost clinic?), but was too spicy for that, vet said don't worry.  Did get her second course of vaccines and then the deposit.  But not her fault.  

I have been looking at my broken tooth and pretty sure I will have to have it pulled, which is going to suck.  I am not worried about recovery I have already had 4 teeth pulled for braces and then 4 more for wisdom teeth.  I can recover from that... but the extraction process!  It is a back molar so not visible but less chewing... my front teeth seem fine but the back ones... agh.  

Anyway not going to borrow trouble.  Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof... Jesus basically saying only focus on today's problems not tomorrow or next week.  

I can still eat, albeit slower, and it doesn't hurt.  

I don't have a lot of errands to run today and my aunt is on her way.  She was eyeing my blackout curtains (in the bedroom) for a while and really likes them.  She got herself some blackout curtains so I will be curious to hear how they worked out for her.  

It is a huge shock to me; my headaches have almost completely vanished.  I get one now and then but not very often as opposed to literally every single day.  I still haven't really accepted I had that level of stress with Ron.  

I'm glad he isn't hurting but I miss having a husband, and I'd be a liar if I didn't say I missed the financial security.  Now it's all on me and that's a lot.  But he suffered a lot at the end and I'm not sorry that is over.  I wouldn't bring him back if I could.  

I am glad I kept most of the ashes.  I like having him around.  Not sure if that will change one day.  

[Next day]

I ran some errands with my aunt, not a lot.  Mainly Walmart and the pet store when Walmart didn't have my cat food.  I need the Iams Urinary for Biscuit.  If he doesn't eat it he will die.  They did have another urinary brand.  I considered it.  You know this brand.  

I read the label and the first ingredient was corn.  I am not feeding my cats a corn diet.  Now the Iams does have corn in it but some sort of chicken is ingredient #1.  That's what I want for my cats.  So I looked at the pet store and they had a 16 pound bag of the Iams, that is over 2 weeks of cat food for all of them, for $24.  I will just do that.  

Depression was still there most of the day but I pushed through, to paraphrase the commercial.  I did sleep OK.  

I had to get rid of my $2 pork chops as I didn't have the energy to cook and was pretty sure they were bad anyway.  I hate to waste raw food I was too depressed to cook but that happens very seldom.  

I dug into my Bible study today; good messages.  I don't always get a "banner" like I did the day after Ron died but I was encouraged; a good reason to keep up my discipline.  But I can't do it in my own strength some days I just can't do everything I would like with regards to the Bible study and prayer time.  

I was a good time budgeter today so I have a couple hours yet before I have to go.  I may come back before I leave, or just do a quick post when I get back from work.  We'll see.