Monday

 I really like my new wedding band, $12 delivered and very pretty.  It has a mirror finish, titanium, 6 mm wide.  When I size down out of this I will get an 8mm but this one is perfect for now.  I didn't want a big investment (assuming I could afford it, which I can't): ride the bus need to be inexpensive and nothing they will covet; I work retail with my hands to some extent so it has to be replacable; I am losing weight so I will not be wearing it for years.  I like having an assortment sometimes I want the black ring, sometimes the abalone, sometimes the tungsten or the titanium.  Some rings I can't wear at work because I do use spray disinfectant on occasion.  I am not really one for gloves and my skin has not fallen off.  But I don't want to hurt a ring.  

My aunt is coming to get me today.  We will run errands.  I need to go to Bank, Walmart for sure.  I need to go to Sam's and get some candy I am almost out (again!).  I would like to go to Ikea and look at mattresses but I do not think that is happening today.  My aunt texted me my lawyer called her so that will be an interesting encounter.  My aunt did some research the lawyer is a Christian and seems like a very nice lady.  

Probably young enough to be my daughter but that is OK!  I just want Ron's money, which is mine, that will be a big load off.  

The cats are good, Torbie and Baby Girl laid down on the couch as I sat there doing my God Time.  I rewarded them with treats when I finished.  There is something very sweet about a cat present during Bible Study and prayer time.  They are good cats.  

I don't like to think about work on my days off, and happily being a worker bee I normally can avoid it, but I need to plan on some meals for the days I work.  I had some digestive upset this morning so I think taking sandwiches with deli meat (that are not frozen) are out.  Maybe I need to do vienna sausages or something.  I will figure it out.  

So: I did get vienna sausage.  I also got some small Beanie-weenies.  Those will make a fast and safe meal.  I won't have to worry about mushing it or it going bad like I would with most sandwiches.  I will make up a good stack of PB&J tomorrow as well so I have some choices.  

AND I got a cheap blender so I can make smoothies.  I have soy milk, hemp protein powder, etc.  I also got some fresh bananas, frozen OJ (I like to put a dollop of concentrate in a smoothie now and then.  And the rest stores nicely in the freezer.  I also got some frozen fruit.  So I have some options there that can make a good dinner.  I got some generic cereals, Raisin Bran and Cheerios, so I can have a bowl of cereal for dinner after work.  I have plenty of powerade bottles for storing shakes.  

I also got the things I had been forgetting like washer cleaner and some of those things you hang in the toilet bowl to clean it.  I had enough cat food so I didn't get more.  I am OK for litter too.  

All told we went to my bank, Walmart (thank you discount card), and Food Town for some fried lemon pies which I had forgotten.  Then some delicious lunch.  That was pretty much it.  

My aunt left the house later than planned because she had to talk to the lawyer.  She said at one point (my aunt) that she felt the lawyer would appreciate the fact the papers were so well organized.  My aunt was a CPA so I know they were tidy.  I also gave my aunt a bank statement I had lost and Ron's bank statement as well.  I am pretty transparent with her.  

I think it is important for all my family so they can see me slipping, if I do start.  So far I have been OK mainly due to my faith.  

I have said it before and I will say it a little differently: I can't imagine how a person without faith in a loving redeeming God would handle the loss of a husband and job.  It is catastrophic when you believe in Abba (Daddy, a very loving and nurturing) Father looking out for you, how awful to just think you are alone in the universe with no one looking out for you.  Which is why I am glad I had my faith before this all happened.  And, because of our shared faith, I know Ron is far better off now.  He is not sitting in the urn, he is rejoicing in Heaven.  He can run.  He can see.  He can live - far more than he could down here.  I wouldn't take that from him if I could.  

I am not saying mine is better; I am just saying I'm glad I have what I do.  One thing that drives me with evangelism is this; people out there in the world without any One to cling to.  

So it was a pretty good day.  We also agreed we will try to recruit the yard guy to do some repairs to the fence.  The part by the street needs some work.  Dogs are getting in through a gap and the gate is broken.  My aunt wants some of the back cleaned up as well.  There is a double fence and my side is shot.  She wants all that taken away.  I am not worried about that but I think it will make other people feel better and shouldn't cost too much.  The other side of the fence (the neighbors built their own fence when they bought the house) is fine.  

If I worry about anything on the back fence it is the neighbor's very large oak tree!  That has given me some moments let me tell you.  

But he will give us a good deal with hopefully enough money left to fix Ron's room.  It would be nice to fix the drywall, paint, and get floors.  Then I can get a mattress for the bed and some cute sheets, set it up as a little guest spot.  I already bought a blanket for it, I have the queen version of it and it is very durable, soft, and warm.  I have had the queen version for some years and it is great, a little pilly but that never got in the way of a good night's sleep.  And it has stood up to cat biscuits/kneading very well.  Gravy in particular loved that blanket.  

All this is being covered by a friend of my aunt's who has taken a shine to my story.  She was also a caregiver so she could relate.  

I find as time passes I am letting more details out because Ron is not around to lose his pride/dignity.  So some things may come out in conversation like his use of certain disposable products.  He doesn't care if I say it now, he doesn't eliminate in Heaven anyway so it's fine.  And if it can help someone I will bring it up.  

Like one time at Walmart I had a woman asking about a certain disposable brief.  She asked if they were good for people bed bound.  I said yes, I knew they were.  She asked how I knew so I told her my husband spent the last year of his life in bed and this is all we used.  She said Oh!  How do I figure out size?  So I showed her on the package and she got the correct one.  Ron would have approved.  Obviously the woman was transitioning as a caregiver and needed a little help which I was happy to give.  And they are a good brief.  I can't recall us ever having a leak in the year I used them.   Let me put up a link, God Forbid you have a loved one needs them.  https://www.walmart.com/grocery/ip/Assurance-Unisex-Stretch-Brief-with-Tabs-L-XL-32-Count/172161420

So that's about it for now I will post more if something comes to mind.