"I'll never drink before noon"

I slept OK and woke up coughing.  I am really sick of sinus drainage, but God knows I want it.  No drainage = infection and excruciating pain.  I took my sinus pill and went back to sleep. 

When I woke up, a little later, Ron was drinking in the kitchen.  I remember once he told me "I will never drink before noon.  If I ever do that, I'll know I'm an alcoholic."  But he's "forgotten" that and I'm through fighting with him over alcohol. 

I ate a protein bar, took my morning medication, took my shower, and did my God Time.  I tried to take a nap but it didn't work out.  Ron was playing something on his talking book machine I will term "inappropriate".  He was asleep.  I turned it off. He woke up and turned it on again.  I asked him to turn it off, but he was too drunk to figure out what I wanted.  He kept looking for the "remote" in his fanny pack.  I finally just turned it off myself and this time it stayed off. 

I watched TV, got on the computer, and did a load of laundry.  The stain remover really does an amazing job.  I hung up the clothes and Ron woke up. 

We decided to get pizza.  I got a medium for myself and had two slices.  I'm still not very hungry. 

We work tomorrow. 

My big experiment for tonight: taking the mucus pill with the cough suppressant.  I need a break from the coughing or I'm going to pull a muscle! 

Sorry this is so short but I just feel like crap. 

PS - the cats are fine. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
Have you considered going to al-anon? The support program for family members of alcoholics. It might help you.
Heather Knits said…
I did. There were a couple of problems, one the women in the group were all divorced, and a lot older than me. Also it was an hour each way on the bus to get to and from. Tons of meetings, not many on a bus line.

I told Ron it was a "caregiver group" which was technically true.
I ala-non is good for some and way too much for others. ...your blog i think is brilliant! To me i find sollace in our " share" regardless of the issues..our atruggle is real....i hope negative folks aside, you feel supported and validated...groups help ward off isolation, i personnally worry you dont take/ schedule/ hoard / your fun days" your God time."reminds me to stop each day. I now dont comprmise. i think as long as you are working amd doing mandatory fun days? For some of us? That is great considering your migraines and bipolar? I think folks forget just you showing up to blog? MASSIVE! It gives us motivation

Once in a while you should see if there is a closer group and go once just to see? Like to the doc for a " tune up" i go for tips. Once in a while for me for a " group" i dont like navigating " shared drama" and with groups comes shared drama..as a way of " healing" i get how that is awesome for some but for others? I get really overwhelmed and irritable trying to sit and be polite when i could be more therapeutic petting someone pet in public and charting over a moment.... The group becomes life...or an escape from life...when really If i am leaving " him" i will just leave. Period, my plan? Money stashed and call a crisis line get the advice i need and out the door. in the mean time while we stay lets have fun days...cheap ones free if possible ! Happy new year dear Heather!

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