Thursday, December 29, 2016

"I didn't believe in God back then"

I slept a little better last night, but I coughed up a lot of green crud in the shower this morning.  I definitely had a sinus infection, but it's on the way out. 

I took my pill and we went to the bank, after I took my shower and did my God Time.  It took a while at the bank. 

After the bank, we went out to our favorite taqueria.  Chuck doesn't like Mexican food, but he got some grilled shrimp.  I got a quesadilla "for here" and one for tomorrow.  They store pretty well.  Ron got two burritos, one to eat there and one for later. 

Tomorrow's going to be a long day so I want something easy to eat when I get home.  I also need to make up some sandwiches for Ron. 

We had a pretty good lunch.  Chuck made some comments about the phone call last week, in a joking manner, but still awk-ward for me.  At least Ron told Chuck, during the infamous phone call, that I was yelling at (Ron) to shut up. 

Ron started talking his old psychobabble stuff.  He attended some psychology classes, in California, in the 70's.  Liberal city.  One of the required reading books was "open marriage". 

Back in the 90's. Ron used his "psychology" to manipulate and extort me into consenting to his so-called "open marriage" (he cheated, I didn't).  It is a very bad moment in my life.  Worst of all, he went around telling his other women that I supported him in this.  I didn't, and he knew that.  They didn't.  Then he'd get drunk, and tell me all about them sexually, knowing I didn't want the details.  Ugh. 

"I didn't believe in God back then".  We didn't get into the above paragraph in front of Chuck, but I told him I didn't believe in "psychology" anymore, especially his flavor "Transactional Analysis" which no one uses anymore.  It was basically a way for people to judge and pigeonhole other people.  He did that a lot with me. 

One thing the book never discussed, either, was organic causes of brain dysfunction.  It went so far as to say a schizophrenic had a "bad mommy".  It never even acknowledged bipolar disorder, so Ron and I had a lot of conflict. 

Ron got defensive about it and then said "Well, you don't like it because your mother was into it".  No, I told him, I hate it because you used it to take advantage of me.  That's what makes me angry.  I didn't even know my mother had been into it until I had been blindly following Ron for a couple of years. 

[Later on, we had a discussion about it.  Ron's still going to use his slangy psychobabble pet phrases, even though they make me angry and signify nothing.  Someone into psychology like him would not be a verbal abuser, or an alcoholic, right?  Wrong.  I didn't say that, though. 

I did get Ron to agree to stop bringing my mother into it.  She has nothing to do with my pain and anger.  ]

We came home.  The #6 kids, all 6 of them (ha ha) were outside playing on the other side of my bedroom wall.  I was tired enough I took a nap anyway.  I know my immune system is most active when I'm sleeping. 

I wonder how many new parents get colds and flu from sleep deprivation, the first year of Baby's life?  A lot, I bet. 

I also noticed #2 is ripping out the carpet.  I guess the hoarders really did a number on the house.  Sad thing, you know they're not going to get any of that money back for repairs. 

I just hope the next tenants are nice, quiet, and stay out of the yard.  If they don't, we will put a padlock on the gate.  Other people in the subdivision do it all the time. 

I did cover up Ron's bedroom window with a sheet.  He has a bad habit of lying in bed naked, in front of the window.  I have begged him to cover up but he won't.  This way, at least, no one will see him. 

I had taken all my medication, and when I took my nap I slept pretty well.  I even had some dreams and I didn't wake up coughing.  I am debating waking myself up to take another mucus pill at 8, or just trying to sleep without one. 

At any rate, I need to go to bed.  I have an early wakeup for a Dr Pepper delivery.  It should be an interesting day. 


Anonymous said...

Heavenly Father bless, Heather

Spankadoo Hardcastle said...

Do you use a neti pot? That is somthing folks swear by! Hope you feel over this tomorrow and HAPPY NEW YEAR kisses to the kitties ..yes that kind of therapy? Long gone. People believing more and more our brains like any other organ, can get sick malfunction...put damage from genetics, drugs alcohol..whatever..toss them in a big pot of abuse and you sure can change the flavor of craxy. But brain illness and or damage and or whatever...i agree ..i thing cognitive behavioral, chNging our own patterns works, it helps me! But we dont have tonrestructure my brain through brainwashing i can just put a rubberband on my wrist and snap it tomremind me ot i do try to stop and think before i act. For me changing patterns gets the best results..and faithful on the meds and " fun days".
My resolutions i wanted to share if its ok?

ADOPT A KITTY OR TWO although our dog has a small cancer and it's ok now but the breed is prone we had the sam thing happen previoisly to a rescue) so maybe a small dog and kitty pair. To help our dog be happy as can be, he is very socual loves all animals.

EAT ONE ( my choice) really GOOD CHOCOLATE DAILY

SCHEDULE AT LEAST ONE "FUN DAY " unplanned thing i love to do and hold the time sacred to my well being..i like you never stop " care taking" this will happen EVERY OTHER WEEK. ( only you know and your readers know because if i announce it it gets sabatoged .)


I got up around 8 and took my shower, did my God Time.  Ron only interrupted me once.  He didn't know I was "doing it".  He al...