Exhausted

I'm disappointed in Ron, and it's a shame, because yesterday wasn't bad. 

We stayed home in the morning.  Normally I leave around 6.  #2 decided to play with his lawnmower around 8 AM, I was glad I was already awake. 

I had horrific anxiety all day about the neighbors (possibly) making noise and coming into my yard.  It was exhausting.  I think I'm going to talk to doc about aspartame. 

I took my shower, dressed, we went to Walmart around 4 PM.  Ron wanted more root beer.  We got it, and I got a few little things (including the cat sweater for Gravy).  I think the gray camouflage is cute because he has grey spots.  He was happy to get rid of it, but forgave me when I gave him a can of nasty fish cat food. 

We went to work.  We rode with a former driver, now a passenger.  They fired her for cleanliness issues - a supervisor told me.  Why am I sharing this gossip?  Well, she looked a lot better, clean hair, dyed hair, no odor (and there was, before!).  She seemed very depressed, using a walker now, and I told her I'd pray for her.  I also held her hand for a minute, and she squeezed it. 

I unloaded and we got to work.  We got everything stocked, and had a lot of fun.  Ron has been telling me lately, I'm wonderful, I'm such a good helper.  I am. 

It can be hard balancing what he needs vs the other jobs that need to be accomplished, but I think I do a good job.  I was, however, pretty worn-out from the anxiety and depression I've been battling this month. 

We encountered not one, but two, wrecks on the way home.  I'm glad we didn't participate. 

We got home and I sat at my computer.  Ron came in, almost immediately, asking questions about the sell by date on his hot dogs.  I told him I didn't want to check, could he eat something else?  He said he really wanted hot dogs.  I told him I was sure they were OK if the package was closed. 

A couple minutes later, he came in and almost stepped on Gravy, asking about his hot dog buns.  I said they were not usable (they weren't), to eat the hot dogs plain, and was there anything else?

He got very hurt and offended.  Still is today. 

I think my favorite quote was "I pay the bills.  It's your job to help me anytime I want it, 24/7." 

He can't run the business without me. 
The business generates our income.
Therefore, without me, we have no income. 
I pay the bills. 

I didn't get into it with him.  I could also make a point of doing nothing tomorrow and illustrating my point that way, but I don't like to punish the business when Ron's at fault. 

He kept demanding I apologize.  I said I will not apologize for setting a boundary.  His comment made it clear he expects me to have no boundaries when it comes to "helping" him. 

I also emphasized, again: I am happy to talk to you when I am in the computer room, but I don't want to "help" you when I'm in there. 

I only ever work on the computer, and do my God Time, in here.  I don't exist in here.  For one, it's a little crowded. 

Gravy likes to sleep by my feet.