Sunday, February 22, 2015

What a day

It was  a day off.  Everyone's physically healthy.  No headache.  I went to Walmart.  It should have been a fun day, right?

I finally figured out a way to make the earplugs work.  They aren't forgettable, but I could get some rest in them.  Last night, the yapper next door was going crazy on the other side of my bedroom wall.  I removed the cord and inserted them.  Much better than the corded style.  Aqua Ears

The foam ones pop out and don't muffle; the silicone ones fall out and get stuck in my hair; but these actually stay put and are fairly comfortable.

I inserted them, reminding myself I could sleep in today if needed.  I heard the kids outside playing earlier (presumably with the dog) so hopefully they will tire it out today.  I dozed for a while, then removed the earplugs.  Silence.   I set them on my nightstand.

I slept pretty well.  Biscuit and Torbie are competing for bed rights.  They both want to sleep in the bed.  Biscuit would love to share, Torbie, not so much.  When Torbie left at one point, Biscuit and Gravy joined me.

I do love to sleep with a cat.

I woke up very depressed.  I took my shower and did my God Time.  I ate something and took my medication.  Something was "up" next door.

It's been my experience, with the men on either side of my home, if they're doing yardwork, they're having a party.  He was doing yardwork (I hadn't put it together yet).  I found his dog rather annoying.  They had it in the kennel, sitting in the driveway (what is it, no one understands "leash" on my block?)  It wanted to roam, couldn't, and decided to yap, yap, yap a lot instead.

I won't say much about #2's dog, for fear of upsetting Melanie.  I will say it appears to be well fed and they don't let it roam.

Already depressed, I found the yapping and the happy family talk (albeit in Spanish), even more depressing.  Then Ron started up with his usual morbid impatience for God to return.  He is extremely dark and negative in his thoughts and talk. He says he is upset with God; somehow that translates to using me as his emotional toilet. 

I have very limited results actually talking to him.  If I remind him I am already battling a severe depression he gets even worse.  

Desperate, I decided to go to Walmart.  I had asked him to make a trip yesterday, but he got drunk, or forgot.  I think, at the end of it, he didn't want to go.

I did.  I needed some more soda, etc.

I also wanted to look at the garden center.  I love gardening, and my focus on that lately has been one of the only things keeping me afloat.  It sure wouldn't hurt to get a new hose, would it?

We called a cab.  A nice man showed up about 10 minutes later.

I had as much fun as I could, at Walmart.  I ended up buying Ron, at his request, $25 worth of merchandise.  He always makes me calculate "his" tab so he can "pay me back".  I remind him he's paying the mortgage and all, he gets upset and insistent.

So I accept the money (I do make a lot less).

For myself, I went to the garden center.  I got a new hose, some batteries for the cat toy (Cat's Meow, everyone loves it), some seed starting material, my sodas, a couple t-shirts - they are making the women's with a pocket now, finally!  I spent about 45 minutes.

While it wasn't peaceful, I heard a lot of Spanish, I was aghast at what some women apparently wear to church - a lot of jiggly breast and thigh, screaming kids, still better than home.

Sad but true.

I paid.  I went to McDonald's and got some nuggets, and sandwiches for Ron.  I asked Ron to call a cab.

After an hour, a cab came in the parking lot, drove around, saw me, and LEFT.  It made me very self conscious. 

The company called me a while later.  Was I still waiting? 

I bit off the sarcastic reply and responded in the affirmative.  I told her about the cab, said I "Took a bath, with soap" and wondered why it was so hard to find a driver. 

I have taken other cabs to Walmart and home, never had these problems. 

Today.  I did. 

Now, years ago, Ron and I had The Worst Trip Ever.  I had a migraine.  I was in extreme pain.  Our ride was 2 hours late.  This one beat that by half an hour, and only then because I called a friend to pick me up. 

Happily, he wasn't busy. 

I did laugh hysterically when he asked if I minded waiting for half an hour.  I had already been waiting for 2. 

He got there 2.5 hours after I called. 

"Oh, that was the longest wait ever" I said. 

"What?" he replied, baffled. 

"Oh, not you, you're great.  Thank God you came!"  He relaxed and took me home.  I gave him the cab money and told him I was Never Doing That Again. 

I had to laugh when we got home.  Ron had locked the kittens in his room.  I reached for the door knob and our friend said "Maybe he's asleep, or busy". 

I opened the door anyway as he flinched and looked the other way.  Sure enough, Torbie and 2 kittens running around the room, Ron listening to TV on his headphones, fully dressed. 

I had to giggle after our friend fled. 

I don't often see Ron as "controlling", but he wants me to shower during certain hours in the summer; leave my bedroom door open at all times "because it has a better vent"; put a fan in my doorway, in the summer, to "blow cold air at the intake vent"; don't cook at all during the summer, etc. 

I do find it funny.  Like the internet joke, he pays all kinds of money during the winter, to keep the house at a temperature he'd deem "unacceptable" during the summer.  I think it's silly. 

I don't need it warm in the winter.  I like it warm in the summer; UNLESS I am trying to sleep.  Menopause Woman likes a little chill at bedtime.  He's railed bitterly about it. 

Anyway, while talking with our friend I did arrange to have a trip to the garden center.  I'll get some mulch and soil amendments, toss them in the truck, bring them home and put them in the backyard.  After he leaves I will spread most of the mulch on the beds. 

If you think it's hard riding the bus, you can imagine what it's like for me trying to transport a bag of cow manure! 

That way, the garden will keep me busy and occupied for minimal cost.  I also find myself eating a tremendous amount of fresh, homegrown, vegetables. 

If I buy veggies, they rot in the fridge. 

When I came home I saw cars everywhere.  As near as I can tell 3 of the latinos, including the neighbors on either side, are having parties tonight.  Why? 

No holidays of Mexican festivals as far as I can tell.  I didn't see any soccer on TV.  It's just [my street] latino party day.  At least they are fairly quiet.  I don't hear much with my music at a standard level. 

I do pray they wrap it up soon, because our first pickup is 3:43 AM.   If I want to do my God Time and take a shower (equally important), I have to get up at 1:30 to 1:45.  Which means I should already be in bed. 

I can take 2 approaches: stay up until 8 or so, when it will be fairly quiet (I hope), or go to bed and use my earplugs. 

I think I'll split the difference and go to bed around 7-7:30. 

What a day. 

Happily, I should be able to get a nap tomorrow. 


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