Showing my belly

Ron and I have had a little conflict.  He thinks I've been "mean". 

"If you think it's bad out there." I told him "You should see it inside my head. "  Depression.  Oh, it's been HORRID. 

One of the worst, I believe, I've had in a long time. 

I've been listening to this again and again.  I plan to buy it tonight.  God knows I owe them. 



I don't know why it helps - but it does. 

Maybe watching the poor little critters get beat up... kind of how I feel right now. 

Anyway, yesterday sucked pretty awful.  When I got home from Walmart I took a nap, and then did a henna.  I added some brown henna, which did help tone down the lurid-orange-at-my-part issue. 

I applied a facial scrub about half an hour before I planned to rinse the henna.  A JW showed up right as I was climbing into the shower, ringing the doorbell like a bill collector at 8 PM.  I would have been so pissed if I had an early morning pickup. 

As it is, I opened the door wearing nothing but a towel and a shower cap, saying "Your timing is impeccable".  I must have presented a horrifying sight, as she beat a hasty retreat. 

The handheld shower worked great for rinsing the henna.  5 stars. 

So (sigh) - happily the scrub, which was a new product for me, didn't cause a skin reaction.  I only thought of it after the fact. 

Today, we got up and went to work.  Stock stock stock.  Things look good.  Coffee machine is down, already.  [rolleyes]  We'll get it fixed.  It's just drama, and I hate drama. 

The other machines are fine.  Stocked.  I do need inventory - and like I told Ron "We can run out of Cheetos, or we can run out of Snickers, but we can't run out of both."  Which means a horrific trip to the wholesale warehouse during public hours.  I vastly prefer business hours. 

We'll need to do that tomorrow.  I'm just worn-out. 

So, after work, we went to the bank.  That took a while.  

We had planned to get lunch but didn't have time.  We did have good rides today. 

The neighbor's yard guys were active, so I used my pull-out couch.  I took a nap (they did our yard too for some reason), and Baby Girl joined me.  She hasn't done that since the night Bubba died. 

She used to try to sleep with me, but I'd roll over and squash her, in my sleep.  I'd awaken to a terrible SQUEAK, and she'd flee.  She gave up, after a while. 

I was very touched and hated to get up. 

However, we had a trip to the strip mall.  We went to the pet store, and got Torbie's glucosamine treats.  They work great so I'm not inclined to change them.  I got a Booda Ball, which will dispense treats as they play with it - once they figure it out.  I also got a Pawbreaker (you can look it up), a compressed catnip ball.  Torbie loves it. 

I also got some filters for the cat's water fountain.  I scrub it out regularly, then fill it with filtered water (we have a faucet mount filter).  That runs through a charcoal filter in the unit, which I change regularly. 

I'm drinking fruit punch I made with unfiltered water. 

We got dinner, and then came home.  I put the pawbreaker in a box on Ron's bed.  Torbie made a huge amount of racket, shaking the bed and banging around in her box.  It's a hit, and Ron can enjoy her play. 

I bought some Salmon-is-the-first-ingredient cat treats.  Baby Girl loves them. 

Torbie was busy murdering her pawbreaker.  I'll try to make a video. 

No one has figured out the Booda Ball.  They'll probably do it in the middle of the night. 

In the meantime, I have two very happy and spoiled cats. 

Ron understands me better since I kind of puked the contents of my brain at him.   I really wonder if it would help for him to read The Bipolar Survival Guide - would it help?  Or would it just freak him out completely?  I don't know.  I think he might find it depressing.  I don't know. 

Anyway, I think I need to get better at conveying "I am having a bad day (mentally)".  If he doesn't know and feels I'm snapping at him, he won't understand. 

I just hate showing my belly - I've been savaged a few times.  But he is my husband.  I think - know, he'll want to help if he knows I'm in pain.  I'm just used to hiding.  It's one thing to vomit it all online - another to tell a person I am in distress, someone who already has so many problems of their own.

Well, I can try.  If he's a butt, or unsympathetic, I can stop.