Tense

"I'm just going to stay in the house" I told Ron.  "I'm pretty tense.  That soccer ball hitting the house and the kids screaming are getting on my last nerve." 

Unfortunately, during the family soccer games next door, they use my fence as the primary line, the side of the house as a goal zone.  Because we bought a house with a zero property line on that side, the side of the house is the property line, and the kids see it as a nifty orange wall/goal zone. 

Dude, that's my bedroom. 

I noticed, recently, that the father had moved the goal (they made their own, kid-sized goal - let me tell you latino families are very serious about soccer) to his fence, between my house and theirs, facing the street, which cut down on the noise. 

Most nights I am only midly annoyed by the screaming and thumps as the ball hits my house and fence.  Most nights. 

As you know, things are a little tense, though.  I have no idea if I'll have a job in 10 days.  What will happen with the house, cats, etc. 

So, tense is a good descriptor.  A part of me tells myself "A good Christian wouldn't be tense". 

Well, go find one! 

I love Jesus and I am pretty scared - I have always believed in honesty and I am scared.  I have no idea if work will take care of us when they demolish our area, or just tell us "Sorry". 

To make things better, they're having a meeting about us on Tuesday.  THEY are having a meeting.  We were not invited. 

Am I upset about that?  No.  Ron and I are emotional people - and business and emotion are a bad combination.  We are bound to get emotional (Ron cursing, me crying) because we are so damn scared.  If we got bad news God only knows what would happen. 

Now, I will put that aside, and pray for everyone involved in the meeting.  I will pray that the only real news during the meeting is the announcement of our new vending location, in the building.  That it be a wonderful location with plenty of hungry construction workers. 

How do I cope?  Well, I'm praying a lot.  I martialed my online prayer support.  I ask other believers to pray for us.  I focus on things outside of worry: going to work and stocking.  Planning a baking project.  Taking care of myself, Ron, and the cats.  Planning my next Bible Handout and doing up the Bibles. 

Because I cannot, will not sit around and panic.