Tuesday, July 7, 2015


I don't usually feel disabled.  After all, my body works, or, as I like to say "I am disabled above the neck, my husband below it". 

Today found me, massively depressed, sitting in a blood draw chair at the local lab, my arm shaking like a maraca.  I couldn't get it to stop, and watched helplessly as my arm quivered to a rhythm only it knew. 

I apologized repeatedly, feeling so crippled.  I can't even control my arm.  

One poor phlebotomist thought I was shaking from fear, and kept reassuring me.  I explained.

I do a lot of explaining.  

I'm sorry, I take lithium.  It makes me shake.  Really, I'm fine.  I sure hope you can get the stick anyway.  I can't stop the shaking.

I was helpless.  I hate that feeling, one reason I am so responsive to Ron when he calls for help.  He doesn't want my help, but he needs it.  I'm not going to make him *pay*. 

My Dad has a tremor.  He complains about it.  I tell him I understand, but I don't think he realizes I truly have one too.  That's OK.  

[sigh]  I didn't sleep too well.  Lately Torbie has wanted to sleep by my foot at night.  I roll around a lot.  This will not end well for her. 

But every night, she mews and gets up in bed with me, then settles by my foot.  I wake up alone, presumably having squashed her in the night. 

Bubba and Frosty were smart, sleeping next to my shoulder or head.  Torbie is more stubborn. 

I was exhausted and tired, but no headache.  Yay.

I took my shower and we went off.  I left Ron at Starbucks while I went to the lab.  I had a good tech and she got the stick.  She had to take 2 huge vials of blood for my food allergy blood test.  My arm is a little sore but not horribly.

I got a snack, came home, and took my medication.  I laid down for a nap.

Ron had a problem.  He dealt with it himself but made noise in the process, waking me up.  Then the insurance inspector came by to check the outside of the house.  I "let" him do that.  Don't have a choice if I want insurance and a mortgage.

I tried to lay down again, but it wasn't happening.  Oh, well.

I got up and did some laundry, then helped Ron with the accounting report.  Ron made a dentist appointment for me, next week.  I filed the accounting report.

Today was more of a work day than a day off.  However, Ron set it up to run me by Walmart on my way to work tomorrow.  That should be fun.  

No comments:

The squares

I woke up in the middle of the night, to the sound of Ron coughing, again and again.  And again.  And again.  I finally got up to offer him ...