Sunday, July 26, 2015

The Cheating Blog

Ron recently read a book (fiction) about a woman who committed adultery. 

I won't tell you the name of the book, because, in his opinion, it wasn't well written.  It went into some length about how she felt inferior to others, her husband got sterilized without consulting her, felt unvalued and unappreciated by her husband, etc. 

She went on a girls night out, which, at the end of the story, had led to the cheating and pregnancy. 

Ron and I had a pretty lively discussion on where she "screwed up".  Where someone could screw up. 

  • Girls night out: I don't get the concept.  My aunt used to take me shopping when I fled Blackout Ron, and my safety was at risk.  Always, for some odd reason, in late summer/fall.  That's the only concept I've practiced.  

You know how very bad it would be for me to drink: not only would it interact with my medication, I am at huge risk for addiction.  I just avoid it completely and stick to diet soda.  If not careful, though, it could result in me getting roofied. 

So, girls night out - if you're married, or committed, stick with the girls.  In the book, they all split off and hooked up with guys. 

  • She let him buy her a drink.  
  • She confided in him. She went to his hotel and had a drink at the hotel bar.  
  • She gave him her phone number.  
  • She responded to his calls and texts.  
Now, to most, she hasn't done anything wrong, but we can see her going down the road to cheating.

I have never had a physical affair, but at 2 bad times in my marriage, I confided in other men, which led to expectations, and messy resolutions.

The book continued, she had lunches with him, more confidences, more calls and texts.  Then she invited him over when her husband was gone "To give him the tour".

So that's what they call it - she ended up cheating.  

I have some male friends.  In person, and online.  The in persons are nearly all married.  The singles are devout born-agains.  All of the singles have helped with the Bible Handouts in some fashion. 

Eric, for instance, and I met on a Christian message board.  He bought me some Bibles a few years ago, I sent him an update how I used them.  Last year we were discussing computers.  When he found out what I was using he offered me his "old" computer.  State of the art, a year ago.  I accepted. 

He showed up one night and made a network with my old computer, the new one, got it all going, and went away.  Ron and I took him to dinner.   We need to do that again. 

Note that - Ron and I.  I am a package deal, with Ron, when there is a single man around.  I just find that a lot easier. 

Justin and I met on the same board.  I gave him some advice, which he took.  He gave us rides to church for a while until Ron wrecked his back last year.  He's helped out with the Handouts, indirectly.  I have never seen Justin without Ron around.  That's the way I like it.  No confusion. 

Craig was married when I met him at church, but is now single.  He went on a Bible Handout, and has the remarkable distinction of being the only one to want a second.  He has a kind heart and loves Jesus, and things are very clear because Ron is always around, when Craig is.  

Do I yearn for these guys?  Want to have their babies?  No.  But I think it is a lot easier this way.

Ron occasionally calls old girlfriends, but I know it is not romantic.  Ron was more into the "booty call/hookup" type "relationship" before he met me.  The bonds he has with these woman are those of friendship. 

After reading this book, he swore he would never cheat, has never cheated during our marriage (which I believe).  I believe he is smart enough not to confide in another woman, to open up and be vulnerable, because that's how they get in. 

I can't see that happening to him, unless something catastrophic happened to me. 

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