My husband was run over by a careless driver. Over a decade ago.
By all appearances, the man "got away with it" while I was blamed for the accident (I let the poor blind man walk to work the way he always had, for 30 years). I was villified, while everyone saw this man as a victim.
As you can imagine, I had many issues, and many happy fantasies of beating him with a piece of metal pipe.
I wasn't even happy when I found out he got born-again.
I knew my attitude didn't make God happy.
Matthew 5:44
New King James Version (NKJV)
44 But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do
good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you
and persecute you
So, back about 2009 I started praying for the man every day. I had to
ask God to give me the will to pray, at first.. I was that messed up.
I had a lot of setbacks. It seemed like every time I was getting to a
decent place, I'd see the guy again, walking around with everything
working. Then I'd look at poor, pitiful, Ron, in his wheelchair.
Or Ron would have yet another devastating setback.
Imagine my horror last year when I found out the guy had bought an even bigger truck.
Every time he got near us, I went into Mama Bear mode. I have a couple of nicknames. Heather the Hatchet. Heather the Pit Bull - because I am VERY protective of my husband.
The way I saw it, he'd done enough damage.
But I asked God to work on me, prayed every day, wanted God to cleanse
me, and sought to have a good attitude. God has been working.
Lately I kept thinking about that big pickup truck. We need a guy with a pickup. One of our truck guys is out of commission for who knows how long.
The other guy is reliable, but not exactly available. We had to wait all week to make our supply run.
Oh, I could use another driver.
Guess who comes looking for change today?
I gave it to him, very nice and polite. I honestly had good thoughts.
That's ALL God, working in me.
And I ended up recruiting him - if he'd like, to be our driver. He's going to think about it.
Again, that's all God.
If you see anything good in me it's just my willingness to BE used, by God.
No comments:
Post a Comment