It's a good day

Today I met two people.  I have met both of them before.

The first was an older woman.  I'm trying to think of a delicate way to convey her without being ugly.  I will simply repeat some of her comments:  "George Bush (Sr) ruined the black community.  He put crack cocaine in the neighborhoods because he knew they couldn't afford (pure cocaine).  He made sure it was so addictive they would get hooked the first time they used it."  Things continued in that vein for a while.  A lot of self-pity, too.  Having stated things in her words, I think you will conclude that she was not educated, racist, and unpleasant.  She tried to tell Ron and I we must be "so rich" because "We're always going to the bank".  Say what?  We haven't even seen the woman in over a year.  So, envy and coveting, too.  I told her "We could get food stamps" and she scoffed at me.  What was it?  My Walmart flip flops?  The $5 warmup shorts and $3 tshirt?  My top of the line, $15 mesh backpack?  [raised eyebrow]

[dryly]  Yes I'm so expensive.  


Not the type of person I hope to meet again.  She's just ugly.  I don't like her.  Everything that proceeds out of her mouth is very negative and judgmental.  One reason I want to be delicate in my restating.

Lately I've had a lot of problems with anxiety.  Sales are bad, and I've been worrying about a million things that could go wrong, costing us money.  I'm sure you've been there.  You start thinking, and then it progresses, and pretty soon you want to hide under the bed forever.

Anxiety, should I permit it, will eat me alive.  Yes, it's part of my illness but it's like a wild animal that needs to be tranquilized, captured, and caged.  No matter, what, don't let it out of the cage!  I'm working on that.  It likes to do a lot of roaring and cage-rattling.

The other thing I battle, and this is pretty much all the time, negativity.  I tend to get in very negative, gloomy patterns like the lady I met today.  I don't want to be that person!  I am always battling the darkness and focusing on the good things God has given me.

I have given up the news as a consequence.  I'd rather not hear about the latest horrible thing than have it stuck in my head.  And why must we hear ALL the details?  Do we really need to know the victim was raped by her own father?  How badly the baby was abused before his parents finished him?  No.

In Philippians God tells us to keep our mind on positive things.  And, it's funny how we can get answers.

Like I said, I've been worrying a lot about money.  Just now I heard Ron on the phone.  "The richest man and the poorest man are the same.  They don't own anything, it belongs to God."

It belongs to God.  I don't need to "stress" about the house.  It belongs to God.  The business belongs to God.  My health belongs to God (but I need to put in the proper fuels!).   So, leave it to God already!

Oh, and the second person I met.  He has a beautiful spirit.  He's a Vietnamese man who "lost" the war.  He was in the army.  He was captured and put into a camp, and tortured for years.  He is a delightful, charming, man.  I love to see him.

Now, if anyone has an excuse to be ugly, he's the man.  He chose not to be that ugly "hater".  He reminds me, strongly, of another Vietnamese man I met about 10 years ago.  This man, same story.  Captured, tortured for years.  So, I told my Houston friend what the Californian had said, years ago.

"I got all I wanted to eat, and no one beat me.  It's a good day".   I told him and he agreed, delighted.

THAT's who I want to be.