"You don't have to be a cat forever."

I earned my title as the "Junk Food Queen" today by purchasing $180 worth of candy bars and stuffing them into the snack machines.

My derigeur bipolar update: Today I was supposed to get my lithium level tested. I stayed up late last night so I could take my Lithium as late as possible (midnight, as it has to be 10-12 hours since my last dose at the time of the test). I took a nap in the afternoon. Got up 6 hours later (that'll make me manic, alright). Had a great trip to Sam's Club. Nice driver.

Got the candy bars. Went outside. Another nice driver and good trip. Left Ron outside with the candy. Ran in, got the cart, loaded the cart, went in. We got to work late so we didn't have long before our next pickup, to go to the hospital. Stuffed candy bars into 2 snack machines. They look good. Snack 2 can shut down if people hit it, so I decided to invest my time in machines that won't go "Out of Service" if they smack it a few times (hey, if I were a postal worker I'd beat up a few machines too). I'll get snack 2 tomorrow. I'm such a geek. If I only have 36 candy bars of, say, "Mellows", I will allot 12 candy bars to each machine. I'm a vending geek, yes I am.

Maybe I should rename this, "Heather Knits, the Vending Geek". Hm. I got most of what I needed to do, done. Happy. (8 hours of no Lithium) I want to go shopping. Starting to talk A LOT. Can't shut up. Other than that, OK.

Fast forward 2 hours. By the time we find out that the hospital can't do outpatient blood testing, at least for me, uninsured (screams of frustration), I am WIGGING OUT. You know me, I'm a positive person. I'll phrase it this: I was not hostile. I did not have delusions. I was not paranoid. I "seemed" fine to passers-by. Other than that, I was in bad shape.

I have never been so happy to swallow 2 lithium capsules in my life. Doc says, 900 mg a day, don't care how you do it. I figure, one regular "Lithium Carbonate" (fast-acting, in my humble opinion) and one "Extended Relief" - my phrasing. I got really queasy later but I don't care, I'd do it again.

Ron has to get recertified by his doctor for metrolift anyway so he says he has it all set up for both of us on Monday. He's a good guy. He doesn't want to see me go through that again.

UGH. It's a miracle I didn't kill myself before. I don't see how I did "it" without medication. Today was ghastly. It was a good day, but MAN am I sick!

I SO need my pills. How can anyone with this illness reject medication? I have just about every side effect in the book; I understand that but for me my illness is a thing of terror, disgust, amazement, and pity.

Last night one of our local TV stations had a program on hurricane prepardness. I didn't know this; most hurricanes that "get" Houston form in the Gulf within 2 days of striking. Yike.

We had a lot of waiting around today. I mentioned the stuff I plan to get from Walton's to Ron. He agreed and he's curious about trying some of the items in the "Sample pack". I'll probably order them Saturday.

When we got home today, I was very queasy and had some unpleasant side effects. Ron always tells me, in a loving tone of voice, "You don't have to be a cat forever." We had a cat who'd get sick and he'd always tell her that while stroking her. He does the same with me.

So, I'd just gotten home. VERY unpleasant time in the bathroom (there, you guessed). Thanking God that my prayers of "Not in the cab, Lord" are answered. "I wish I could do something for you." Ron laments.

"You paid mortgage so I have a home and a bed to lie down in. You paid the electricity to chill my nice cold Sprite Zero. That's what I really need."