Every damn day, as directed

"I went off my cholesterol pills" the driver told us "Because they mad me tired.  I couldn't live like that.  Who could live like that? " 

Ron agreed with her and they continued their conversation.  I just sat in my seat, steaming, trying to keep my mouth shut. 

The day started off pretty good.  We got up, I took my shower and did most of my God Time, waited on our ride to pick us up.  The tropical storm went to the east of us, and we barely had any rain, much less flooding.  So I was glad we had made a trip to go out just in case. 

After the week I had, I wanted to go out and relax, without paying for a cab.  Ron was in pretty good shape, he had taken all his Benadryl so he didn't sleep, but other than that he seemed OK.  Certainly able to work tomorrow (we already made the trips). 

The driver picked us up and began talking about the cholesterol pills and the side effects.  I was dying to say something like "If you didn't like your cholesterol, why didn't you eat better?"  Instead, she whined, moaned, and carried on like a woman in labor talking about her minor fatigue issue. 

You want to throw down about side effects?  Let's do that.  Let's do that here. 

1. Migraines
2. Chronic daily headaches in addition to migraines.
3. Extreme fatigue, need a lot of sleep every night and ideally a nap during the day. 
4. Shaking hands.  Sometimes I can't even feed myself. 
5. Dizziness. 
6. Dry mouth and extreme thirst, to the point I am drinking 2-3 gallons of fluid a day. 
7. Brain fog, attacks of the stupids. 
8. Hard time finding the right word sometimes. 
9. Hyopoanatremia. 
10. 80 pound weight gain and trouble losing it. 
11. Decreased heat tolerance. 

I could go on, but you get the idea.  I get really angry at people who bitch about minor side effects from optional drugs, when I am stuck with major side effects from necessary drugs.  I don't want to take all this crap, I really don't. 

And what the hell is this?  Twice in the last month I have had drivers tell me they hallucinate.  What are they doing driving?  Why are they not medicated?  They want to know what I'm taking, I tell them, but I can't help but think WTF?

Ron likes to gossip about my issues, I am OK with that.  I am all for education.  However, it becomes alarming when I have drivers saying "Me too" and wanting to take Haldol. 

I know maybe God sent me to them so they could get on Haldol.  Haldol is a front line treatment for mental illness.  In generic form, it is very cheap.  It is highly effective. 

A lot of doctors push the new stuff like Risperidal, which didn't work for me, at least not well.  It was also, at the time, extremely expensive at $240 a month.  One other drug, Abilify, was connected to compulsive gambling.  Scary stuff. 

I'll take my old school drugs and old school side effects.  I feel a lot safer taking that, even though I am at risk for a brain syndrome that could literally fry my brain, taking lithium and Haldol together.  I certainly don't drink, taking it. 

At any rate, I was, and am, upset about it.  It just wasn't fair.  There are billions of people out there not compelled to take medication, cough up large chunks of their pay, and endure side effects.  To hear them whine about what it's like to be 1/10 me is just painful. 

She dropped us off.  We went to the Kolache factory and I got some cream cheese.  Then I took Ron to Subway.  They had the meatballs this time, so he got one.  As before, I had them put onions on top of the meatballs before they put it in the toaster oven.  Ron likes that. 

Then we went to Starbucks.  I got a hot chocolate and ate one of my kolaches, saving the rest for later.  I ate them at home, with a Diet Dr Pepper, and a large handful of medication.   Every damn day, as directed. 

Our ride home came pretty quick.  She had a lot of Walmart trips after us, I thought that was interesting.  We had a straight trip home. 

I ate my kolaches, took my pills, and went to bed.  I was pretty tired.  I slept a couple hours and woke up having a nightmare.  I got up. 

I finished my God Time, rolled down the exterior blinds, etc.  I cleaned out my email, that one took a while.  So much junk, but I have had the email address for 19 years.  I guess it's to be expected. 

Then I watched a little TV.  Now I need to eat a quick snack and go to bed.  I have to get up at 2 AM tomorrow. 

God willing, I will fall asleep fast and sleep hard.  I hope I get Torbie in my bed like I did last night, and during my nap. 

I always sleep better with Torbie.