Saturday, June 24, 2017

Dark days

Yesterday I took Ron to work.  He did a pretty good job, stocking.  I stocked my end of things, we got our delivery, etc.  I got up at 3 AM to get ready for work, our driver came at 4. 

While at work, I had a funny encounter.  Work recently hired a bunch of temporary workers.  One of them came up to me asking for change. 

I asked "For what?", meaning, tell me the denomination. 

"To buy something" he replied. 

"What kind of bill do you have?" I finally asked more specifically, then he told me.  We don't make change on anything larger than a $20.  It can be annoying, people come to me, they want "custom" change ("I want a ten, and a five, and five ones....").  I'm not a banker, I'm a vendor.  I have $1 bills, that's it.  If you don't want $1 bills don't bother me. 

Happily we were all done before the pickup time so we could leave.  We came home, I took a nap.  We went to the pupusa place. 

While there, Ron called our handyman about pressure washing the driveway.  He said he would come right over.  OK. 

It took him a while but he did it.  It looks very good, the homeowner's association should be happy for a while.  It's Ron's fault.  When he called them about the tree getting trimmed he was hostile and combative.  I bet they couldn't wait to make us jump through more hoops after that.  I told Ron not to call them this time.   He agreed. 

Today it rained in the morning, when we went to the warehouse, when we were loading the truck, and more importantly, when I was unloading it.  Jack thought the rain would be a problem, I told him it wasn't.  I have done this before.  Happily, I have never had to unload the truck, in the rain, in the winter.  That would really suck.  This was nothing. 

My hair stayed wet, though, from the time I washed it to the time I woke up from my nap.  I had some work to do today, so I did that.  Ron had very little to do and spent his time sorting change. 

Ron has been bitter, negative, needy, demanding, and hostile.  He is just a miserable person to be around, right now.  I thank God for my antidepressants or he would undoubtedly "poison" me with his toxic negativity.  

Thank God for the cats.  Torbie slept with me last night, Biscuit laid next to the shower the last couple days when I was bathing, Biscuit also dances on me in bed when my alarm goes off (but only when the alarm goes off), Torbie got in my lap, Biscuit got in my lap, and Baby Girl was her usual cute self.  They are some very nice bright spots in some pretty dark days. 

I also downloaded the Blogger app and put that on my cell phone, if something happens I can post immediately.  It could also come in handy if Ron ever carries through on his threats to turn off my internet (but we need it for work).  I was happy I figured it out, I hadn't been able to do that the last time I tried. 

He hasn't been complaining about pain but he's been sleeping a lot, keeping the air conditioner at very cold levels, to me.  He gets angry if I adjust the thermostat but I don't think it's fair for him to set it so cold it literally wakes me up, shivering.  And how stupid is it to put a heavy blanket on the bed in the middle of summer?  That's just wasteful. 

He has been weaker but I guess that is to be expected since he basically spent the week in bed, drinking and taking OTC remedies.  His latest is Benadryl, even though they say don't take it with alcohol, what does he do?  "Because I sleep so well, when I do".  One night he's going to have a stroke or something, doing all this, if he doesn't kill himself. 

Sorry to be writing such black posts.  My readership is way down.  I don't think I would want to read me right about now but I appreciate those of you who do. 

I could use your prayers. 


Anonymous said...

I pray for you every day. I know I worry when you don't post and I'm sure others do too, so please don't stop.

Spankadoo said...

Remember he is doing this to himself and projecting on you and you can and should figure a way to make yourself free a few days a week to fill your bucket ...this can NOT be said too often

You need to do YOU! You are such a good person I hope you can see your value and grab it . You do not have to live like this and you should leave for a bit if it gets too hard

Much love dear Heather

Heather Knits said...

Now that I figured out the Blogger mobile app I can really keep posting now. Maybe a hurricane would stop me like it did last time but if that happens I will write my posts in a notebook and then publish them when I get the power back.

I have been trying to figure out a way to get a couple days off.

Anonymous said...

My DH is being selfish today. Took off on his motorcycle and Im spending the afternoon alone. Men are so infuriating. Don't evet stop your blog.

Anonymous said...

You mentioned your readership is down - I think it might be because of the design of the blog (at least the mobile version, thats what I read most frequently.) A while back you changed something so now you can't read consecutive posts on one screen - I can click on a post to read it but then I have to go back to the main page and click on the next post to read it. It's a minor change, but it really does make it harder to follow. Just my two cents.

Heather Knits said...

Yeah, I thought that too about the template. I changed it. I get mobile view, archived posts (you can look up posts from last month, for instance), etc. I do get everything I ever put a label on and those are all really old posts but overall I am pretty happy.

It also works on mobile, I tested it on my cell phone, so I've got that too. I think a fair amount of readers read on their cell phones.

Hopefully YOU all will like it. That's all that matters. Some of the other templates had positively manic designs that gave me a headache, or background imagery that just wasn't me (a lot of makeup, for instance).

Anonymous said...

Thanks for fixing the template! It's much better now!!

A trip to the hematologist

I slept OK but woke up really tired.  I hit the snooze alarm a few times, much to Biscuit's disgust.  But I'm getting ahead of mys...