I feel my primary job in life is sharing God. I feel my secondary "purpose" is educating people about mental illness, and the third, de-stigmatizing mental illness.
It's an illness, people. I don't see that as a difficult concept! [laugh]
First, I thought I'd share a few perspectives I've seen in my life. Let me know if you scream in frustrating and recognition.
"Oh, I was depressed once, after my car broke. It was the worst 10 minutes of my life. I understand completely!"
"Oh, depression. That's a made up illness, like 'autism'. Whoever thinks they have that problem just needs a cold water bath, some more fiber, and maybe a beating. Buck up! You are a weak person for even thinking you have a problem!"
"Oh, I used to be depressed but it went away when I got saved. Depression is only a spiritual battle. You need to read some Psalms, pray, and do a fast."
"Oh, I am depressed and got suicidal. Now I'm in the hospital because they pumped my stomach. I'm a really weak person. I should have been stronger. I just let my feelings run away with me... and now look. My husband won't 'let' me get therapy or medication when I get out of here."
Here's the truth: Depression is a medical condition. For the Christians out there, yes, the Devil uses depression to attack us, just like he uses heart attacks. Do you view a heart attack as a spiritual problem? Of course not. You recognize it is a serious medical condition that requires medical help, medication, and periodic checkups. Depression is no different.
If you found your child on the floor, having a seizure, would you tell them to go do some chores, go for a walk, or read their Bible? Of course not! You would get emergency medical assistance. You would do everything in your power to make that happen, and if your child needed medicine, you'd make sure he got it ever day.
Now, let's get to adults. If someone you know is depressed, it is a serious MEDICAL illness. If someone you know is talking about suicide, you need to get them emergency medical help, just like you would if they had a seizure or heart attack.
Depression is a lot worse than a few bad feelings. It's a killer. People with my form of depression, psychotic, have a 41% mortality rate. That's worse than many cancers. source If you knew I was sick, and had a 50% chance of dying, how would you treat me?
Please try to remember that as you encounter hurting souls with depression. Yes, you might end up "coddling" someone who "isn't really sick", but as my Dad always says, "It's a lot better than the alternative".
4 comments:
As someone who has suffered with clinical depression and severe anxiety attacks since childhood, I couldn't agree more with this post. A lot of people do not empathize with those that suffer from it because they do not realize how debilitating it truly can be. I have experienced this first hand on many, many occasions and it has made me extremely understanding towards those who suffer in general, but especially with mental illness. Very good post.
I'm feeling a little cynical tonight.
I have to wonder, do they refuse to accept depression as a "real" illness because then they'd have to be "nice" to us?
Hmmm....interesting thought.
I think it has something to do with 2 things:
I think a lot of people who have never experienced it are like you said in your post...they felt a bit blue once or twice and beyond that they don't have experience with mental illness so they try to extrapolate their experience to ours and say "Oh, it must not be THAT bad because I felt better so they should too".
The other thing is I think that because mental illness can be debilitating and take people away from their social circles, work and family because they don't have the energy to interact or might interact in a way that others don't understand, people think "Well, we all feel blue sometimes but we still have to go to work/school/church/out with friends or whatever! You can't let it stop you!". I think that relates back to point number one where they just do not have any understanding of the truly horrible things that mental illness can do to the mind and because it's not a physical illness that they can see, they tend to think it must not be that bad.
Of course, I could be wrong about all of that. What I wrote has just been my personal experience dealing with people when I felt so bad I could barely move out of bed (I mean I could barely physically move because of the depression and delusions it brought on. Also, I missed a ton of school because of the panic attacks (upwards of 40 a day) and no one understood.
Luckily, I'm medicated for the panic attacks now and I'm lucky to have a husband that understands, but I still battle the depression.
OH, wow..how I relate to this post!
Like you, I live with an "alphabet soup" of disorders, as I like to put it: Bipolar Disorder One (mixed, rapid cycling), C-PTSD, Traits of Borderline...not to mention pernicious anemia. I am on two medications (weaned down from three) and just barely functioning sometimes.
It takes all the energy I can muster to interact, and I have to conserve my energy constantly.
I'd be very rich if I had a dollar for every comment I had that went something like this..
"just snap out of it"
"this diet will do the trick"
"you don't seem ________ enough to be Bipolar"
"you weren't that badly abused to have PTSD"
"why are you so tired all the time"
"your faith must not be strong enough"
...and that's just half of it. One of the worst that stands out in recent memory was a woman that gave me a long sermon about how many other women she knew lived with depression, too, but just put "one foot in front of the other and went to work because they HAD TO" (this, after I spoke on my own friends-locked journal about being on disability, as I literally couldn't work at the time.)
They don't get it. My favourite was someone who said it was "All in my head". I responded with a smile and said, "Yes..that's my problem!"
Kudos to you, Heather. Try not to let them bring you down.
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