Well, another blackout. Yesterday had been a pretty quiet, stay-at-home-because-it's-cold-and-raining sort of day.
Cold, to me, is anything below 60.
He was pretty close to my medication at one point so I hid it. I didn't want him knocking it down on the floor. That happened to me once (I knocked it over) and I found a Haldol, years later. Thank God the cats aren't into eating my medication.
A couple days ago, he passed out, slumped forward, in his wheelchair. The next day his back (not surprisingly) was killing him. So when he did it again I tried to push him back to the bedroom. He didn't stay put, though, and apparently went back to the front room (for more liquor?) later.
Ron thinks he may have 1-2 drinks, then have more, unaware. "Unconcious" (screw you spellchecker) drinking. I think, when he is drunk, he is certainly going back for more.
I will have to tell him about this today.
The second time, I asked him if I could take him back to his bedroom. He said OK and thank you. I pushed him back. His feet were dragging and impeding the passage of the wheelchair. He doesn't use footrests.
After I went back to bed (the second time) I heard a lot of noise but I didn't get up to investigate. My medication was safe, that's all I cared about. But he kept me up for quite a while.
I didn't sleep well, and had dreams about being in a building with a nuclear weapon coming. Not a big mystery, that one. That could apply in a couple of different ways.
Now I'm up and I have to go to work to meet a repairman. So I'd better get going on that shower or I'll scare him!
5 comments:
It's time to take the cats and go, Heather. No excuses. I'm not even going to say anything about God not wanting you to stay with this man anymore. Find some self respect! please get help you are being horribly abused. :(. no marriage is perfect by any means, but nothing about this is normal or healthy.
It is hard to leave someone when everything you have (job and house) is tied to that other person. I believe if Heather could find a way out of this mess she would have left a long, long time ago. It is a terrible position for her to be in.
I would agree with Anonymous. Ron is not in control of his alcoholism. Follow up with some actions behind your words that you mentioned a few months ago. -Star_Tigress
You are a smart woman I get how hard this is but at some point you need to “do you” . I hope you figure out what to do and how I know you think about it OOOXXX Spank
If nothing else, remember, my house, my job, most of the money I have access to, all Ron's. I would probably also lose the cats because many apartments want a $300 pet deposit, per cat, plus extra "pet rent".
Also, societal pressure: "How could you leave him?" People think I am "mean" for not helping him into the vehicle, and he can do that. Imagine if I left.
Lots of pressures at bear. Can't really talk to the pastor either because he once said "We don't need mental illness medication" during a sermon. Um, some of us do! Don't want to get into a big argument over it, though. He would probably just confront Ron about the drinking, someone else in the church tried that about 4 years ago and it had a dismal outcome. The minute the guy left Ron went for the vodka bottle.
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