I was glad Ron was blind

I've been depressed the last couple days, and Ron's been having tantrums.  He had a tantrum because I wouldn't go check the mail after I had already gotten undressed; he had a tantrum because I wouldn't watch Star Trek with him.  It gets tiring. 

We went to work, went to Walmart.  I was amazed at the skimpy attire worn by most women to the store.  High heels, I don't get, either. 

If you are born short, and want to be taller, I guess I can get that.  Heels can add a couple inches to your life if you don't mind wrecking your feet. 

But breasts hanging out; tight, short, dresses;  front hemlines going almost to crotch level, some of the outfits had all 3.  There was more, of course, but I saw very few, modestly dressed, women.  I was glad Ron was blind, because he would have had some lust issues for sure. 

Or, maybe not.  He said all flesh is "boring" to him now, where "T&A used to rule my world".  Well, that's blunt. 

I guess I was the abberation, at the store.  Just now, I was watching the Scientology program with Leah.  She went into a church, and the outfits worn into that church were astounding to me.  Some things, you just don't do in a church.  Or wear to a church.  I guess they (the people, not the actress, who was quite appropriately dressed) were treating the church as a tourist attraction.  At least, I hope they were. 

At any rate, I try not to let it bother me.  I don't feel critical toward the women, I feel sad for them objectifying themselves. 

You are worth more than that.  I know, at work, even in modest tops, I still get some guys looking at my chest, I guess because I went up a couple of sizes on my antipsychotic.  I didn't plan it, it just worked out that way.  The antipsychotic works so I continue to take it.  It is also very affordable.  If my only real side effect is some weight gain and a bigger chest, I can live with that.  But I would be just as happy (probably more, because it would end the staring) to go back to my old size. 

I've been depressed, which upsets Ron.  I can understand that, it would be terrible to have to rely on someone with depression.  I should know better than anyone, I did.  My mother was stricken with a terrible (post partum?) depression after my birth and neglected me severely. 

I don't neglect Ron but I can't always do the little extras.  That upsets him. 

I was doing well just to wash, dry, and hang two massive loads of clothing, for both of us.  Plus grocery shopping, work, etc. 

I still need to clean the litter box. 

I finally deposited my birthday check into my account.  When it clears I plan to buy a waterproof Bible with it and put that in my "go bag".  I lost my pocketknife, so I bought a new one as well.  The new one only cost $2 and is very cheap, but should do the job for the things I have in mind for it. 

I need to finish clearing up the front room, 1.  For the Bibles that are coming and 2.  For Halloween.  I need to take out the garbage (it is impossible for Ron, these days), and check the mail.  Ron is hoping for more books.  I will see if he has any. 

That's it for today.  I hope you are having a good one.