My cat scared Ron to death last night.
"I found the bag in the hall" he told me dourly this morning. "Want to explain that?"
I was baffled. I explained I keep a small trash bag next to my chair..."No, this was luggage, like you were leaving me."
Oh, that. Torbie knocked over my hospital bag. She likes to sharpen her claws on it and pulls it over into the hallway. I keep it in the front room in case we have some medical crisis and Ron needs to go to the hospital. That way I have snacks, entertainment, blankets, etc.
"Hospital bag, huh?" he responded. "I thought you were leaving me."
"If I leave you" I told him "I won't leave bags lying around in the hall - I'll just go."
"I figured that" he responded. "That's why I didn't wake you up."
I reminded him waking me up is always a very bad idea, unless he is ill.
Then he tried to tell me he was only worried I was "bothering" my aunt and uncle, and Ron felt that was "unfair". It really bothers him I have a safety net.
However, assuming I would leave him because he was verbally abusive to me one day - that would have happened before we even got married. Not to mention I doubt my aunt and uncle would take me in for that, either.
I tend to save them for "Ron is having a blackout and making threats against my physical safety, and it isn't safe to sleep here tonight."
I have also worked on saving a small emergency fund so I have more options.
SAD I even have to consider this, or that Ron even went to "She must be leaving me" when he found the bag in the hall.
2 comments:
Be safe, Sister...((hugs)).
Jillian (from facebook etc. I have a new blogger username)
I live in an earthquake zone and under a volcano, you can bet i have a " gettaway bag/plan" husband, volcano? Who cares what the reason! Everyone needs a " gettaway" plan for sure and a bag by the door! I have my 3 day kit in the garage safe and sound, and the gettaway bag where i can grab it on the run. Drugs, clothing snacks. My husband has one too. Maybe if Ron prepared his own he would understand why you have yours. So many " what ifs" you are smart to have plan B . You have had horrid storms there if you had to go to a shelter..Ron needs a plan as well..i hate tonsay it but stash some booze he doesbt know about. If you got stuck in a shelter? Not a good time for Ron to detox. My fried did this and was glad she had it for her husband once in an emergeny, people who drink and do not have booze can be more than a handful. We do not drink but i pur a bottle in my stash for bartering if things get bad . I am not paranoid, i volunteered as a shelter host for the Red Cross for many years. One thing i learned, stash food you like to eat, because things do not taste better when you are stressed, and all the drugs you normally take ...along with a supply of whatever " vice" ...alcohol even drugs ...because things are not easier in these circumstances and anyone who depends on drugs or booze..needs it anyway and you can save a lot of stress by having a secret stash. You know all this i am just rambling sorry. But i live" prepared" so it is a subject i feel you needed support for. Give Ron his own bag to fill and stash some secret booze..sounds bad but it could be a life saver in a shelter..younare not enabling when you are in direcstraights with someone out of booze and detoxing in a shelter. Much love and you are a super strong woman!
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