I doubt I will tell Ron, why I got angry tonight.
He likes to watch TV, find "the new viral video that everyone is watching" and then have me play it for him. Usually I don't mind, although I tend to disdain "viral" anything.
He told me, he just HAD to see a new video, a very romantic wedding proposal. I was very resistant, for reasons I'll explain later. I went to Youtube and looked. It wasn't under "popular" videos. Sometimes they are under "trending" videos. I looked again, nothing.
So, it can't be that popular. I told him that.
I was very annoyed at the whole "romantic wedding proposal" concept, and it took me a few minutes to figure out why. I had already told Ron, no I didn't want to look it up. No, it isn't here. No, it isn't here either.
No, I don't want to type it into the search bar. I TRIED to tell him, if I entered "wedding proposal" into the search bar on Youtube, I'd get a million links and I didn't want to hunt it down that far.
All he heard was "Heather is in a bad mood, I'm going to have a tantrum and leave". He did that, declaring he needed a drink after my "poor" treatment of him. [rolleyes] I never got to explain, he was just shouting at me, then making really rude comments about me "To the cat".
I said, why don't you go in the other room? If you don't, I will. He said fine and stormed off.
[snort] All this over romance.
Why am I so bitter about a romantic wedding proposal? Doesn't every woman want one?
Yes, I did.
What did I get? Ron saying he'd marry me, but he never proposed for years. Then he did, and cheated on me multiple times, never setting a wedding date and refusing to call me anything other than his "girlfriend". Getting angry and threatening to throw me out if I pushed "The wedding issue". Saying if he had to choose between me and "his freedom" I would lose.
Me, selling out for over 10 years. Broken, shattered dreams. I'll remind you of the cheating, verbal abuse, and occasional over the top alcoholic blackout.
So, Ron gets hit by a truck. I don't get to make any decisions because [scream] we aren't married! I had to beg for permission to take him home, get him lifesaving operations, etc. Beg. Like an animal. For something that should have been my right anyway.
Now, in addition to being blind, he is partially paralyzed and in a wheelchair. All his friends are telling him "You are an idiot of you don't marry her." But he likes his FREE-DOM.
I had to tell him, I would leave him (like that!) if he didn't marry me, because "I am not going through that again!"
Then he said, "I guess we'll get married".
Kind of like that awful Carly Simon song. "We'll maaa-rreee"
No wonder I'm bitter about proposals!
2 comments:
As terrible as this sounds it sounds to me like Ron married you to have a nurse around. I am very sorry.
It is ironic how a person can want to watch a romantic proposal yet is incapable of giving you what you need and cannot understand your feelings in the matter.
Too bad the you tube video did not inspire him to do something romantic to let you know that he loves you.
I do find it weird that he wants to watch a video when he is blind. I guess he can hear it.
People suck. They can see when others hurt them but can be so oblivious to the hurts of other people.
I am sorry you are feeling this way.
Ron's often said he likes my narrations. One of our first dates, at a zoo, he said "That was the most fun I ever had at the zoo".
I know he loves me in his own way. I understand his love language, acts of service. So, for him, showing love may be arranging a ride for me to go to the dollar store or something. Not very romantic, but I'll take it.
I absolutely know he'd be crushed if anything happened to me. These days he's pretty self-sufficient, so he doesn't "need" anything he couldn't get from a basic home care helper. That's good! I have enough on my plate!
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