Thursday, May 17, 2012

Things I like about myself

I have several, secular, "Daily Reader" books.  One, a gift from my sister, covers the struggles faced by people with mental illness.  Another, a gift to myself, is from Al-anon and covers the steps I need to take to be my best.

One of them, I forget which, said I should write a list of my good qualities.  I still have self-esteem issues. I believe Jesus died for me but I have a hard time believing I have value!

I felt a familiar prompting, I associate with God:  Do a blog.  OK.


  • I have a strong faith in God.  I believe He is always with me, no matter what.  One memory that comes to mind, Hurricane Ike.  Ron was very sick.  I was sitting at the kitchen table, the winds screaming around the house.  I could hear things crashing, banging, and breaking.  The next morning, I looked outside and saw a yard full of shingles.  Even at that moment, I knew God was with me, and would carry me through.  When I went out in the yard, OUR roof was fine.  I had all the other roofs in my yard!  
  • I am diligent about managing my illness.  No excuses, no justifications.  I am taking my medication as directed and living the "boring" life I need to maintain my mental health.  My doctor refers to me as "very stable" and I see it as a huge compliment.  
  • I enjoy educating people about my illness, especially people who are not going to look it up online. I don't mind sharing all my "embarrassing" secrets if I can help someone else get help.  I would love to be seen as a role model.  
  • I'm incredibly loyal.  Some would say, to a fault.  [grin]  Once I throw in with you, I'm with you 'till the bloody end.  I signed up for that.  
  • I enjoy educating myself.  I've taught myself how to crochet, knit, spin yarn, make soap from scratch, make candles, garden, and can foods.  I like to stretch my brain.
  • I enjoy working on the vending machines, helping to keep them in top shape.  I have 3 of the oldest machines in the "fleet".  We have very low repair bills because we can usually fix problems on our own.  "Check the connections"  Reboot.  
  • I enjoy physical labor.  I'm the "muscle" in my marriage, and my job, and I like it.  Need to move a heavy case of bottled water?  Unload a pallet of soda?  Push a wheelchair half a mile to the bus stop?  I'm your woman.  I remember, once, at the gym.  I had a 80 pound barbell on the floor in front of me.  A man walked up and asked if needed his "Help" to move the bar.  I said, no thanks, I'm lifting it.  I proceeded to do several dead-lifts and he ran off!  I can also lift Ron, if need be.  
  • I enjoy writing, and sharing all my life adventures with you guys.  
  • I have a good creative impulse.  I've knitted countless hats, knitted 2 afghans, crocheted even more.  If I ever get hurt, I hope I go to that hospital.  I enjoy creating beauty out of a ball of yarn, a bottle of paint, or some marigolds.  
  • I'm generous.  I actually made an afghan for every single one of Ron's care providers, after his accident.  
  • I have a very soft heart.  Sometimes, too soft!  I regularly cry at TV commercials.  
  • I enjoy learning, period.  I read mostly non-fiction, and know a little about almost anything.  It makes for some interesting conversations.  
  • I can be fearless, if need be.  I've taken many leaps of faith, over the years, and God's always caught me!  
  • I have a good work ethic.  I go there to work.  I will work until the job is done.  I even went to work once, when I had a migraine, because the food machine was down.  I took a bucket to work, got the machine running, vomited into my bucket, cleaned it out, and went home.  I work a lot harder, for myself, than I ever did for others.  
  • I have rescued every cat I've had, taking frightened, unsocialized "alley cats" into loving pets.  
That's it for now!  I hope you enjoyed it.  



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