I dated very little.
I had a "best friend" - a guy - when I was 11. We talked on the phone a lot, lost touch, reconnected a few years later. Talked some more. We were both misfits - I am certain he also had FAS. He was a good reader but had a lot of trouble writing and other tasks so he was in "special Ed". That didn't matter to me.
He wanted to be more than friends. He took me to a dance at school - his Mom had him in dance classes so he was the best dancer in the room. He was also very good looking. But he was an oddball and was not saved so it didn't work out.
I looked him up a few years after I got together with Ron and periodic check ins over the years showed a dramatic decline, that, last I heard, had him living on the streets. He was also a pagan.
When I was in high school they put me in classes for the "emotionally disturbed". You can imagine what kind of group we were. One of the guys in the class took a shine to me. We went to the mall, talked a little, and he said that his voices liked me, too. Voices? Oh, yeah, he was schizophrenic and heard voices "all the time". I was not ready to hear that at 15.
I prayed about it and figured out a foolproof way to get out of the relationship. He was a smoker. So I made a big fuss about that and said he would have to quit smoking if he wanted to be with me. He dumped me. Thank God.
While I have given some thought to the fact I would be fine with a man with controlled/medicated mental illness I am not signing up for that!
Then I met Ron. That was about it. I liked a guy at church but he was a genius, "going places" and didn't need me dragging him down.
But one consistent thing all these guys took me to the mall. I haven't been to the local mall in years, since before Ron died.
Ron used to like going to the mall and getting the teriyaki bowl but then he became convinced they had changed the sauce and kept wanting to talk to the manager, etc. Alzheimer's of course but I didn't know that.
With Ron, we went to a taco truck and got nachos. If I'd cared about manners there would not have been a second date! I think the next time we went to the bank, cashed his disability check (he wanted to show he was a good provider ha ha ha), and went to the mall to find him a coat. I remember we went to Burlington and found something that worked for him with his budget.
Then he wanted to find a photo booth; the kind where you put a few dollars in and took some photos, which came out a couple minutes later. Like in Amelie. He just said he wanted to have my picture in his wallet. So we took some. I kept one and he kept the 2. He still had them 20 years later.
When he went home that night he called his 3 best friends and had them come over to look at the photo and tell him what I looked like. I made the cut (in my huge coke bottle glasses that made me look like some sort of insect), they said I was "cute" and "pretty". When I called him that night he kept saying I was pretty.
Ron, by the way, was totally blind he had no vision at all.
Me, personally, I don't care how a man looks as long as he's trying to take care of himself, get in that shower every day, do something with or shave his hair, groomed facial hair (I like a short beard on a man). I don't care if he's skinny, a little meaty, crippled, short, any of that. What's in his heart? That's what matters to me. Is he going to respect me?! That's what matters.
One big appeal with Buddy he is very kind, very respectful, and he has excellent boundaries. I would like a man like that. I think sometimes God sent him to me as an archetype. "This is the sort of man I am working on for you".
Ron was big on taking me out to dinner even if it was Taco Bell (we lived near a Taco Bell at our first place). His love language was acts of service and that suited him. I have always been quality time and gifts.
I bought a jumbo bag of Snickers fun size for Black Friday and gave them out to my coworkers. Only one coworker (interestingly enough, a man) has ever given me candy.
I need to get going on my Dal. I got that going. Unfortunately the recipe is another one of those "start it in one pot finish it in another" ones. I hope I like it!
I redid the freezer as the door kept coming open. I'm glad that happened when I was home I have an awesome fridge/freezer but it does take some tending.
I changed the orientation of my containers and rearranged the frozen raw veggies and that seemed to do it.
I could, of course, buy a stand alone freezer. Houston doesn't always have stable power. I could only restock what I did have because my aunt gave me a gift (cash). I would hate to lose a freezer also.
If I had unlimited resources of course I could go the route Ron wanted and buy a natural gas generator I don't have unlimited funds. Besides, the gas could go out, too.
So I'm cooking the Dal. I will also make some basmati rice to go with it.
I am also cleaning the kitchen floor. It needs some work. Well first pass I got about 90% I sprayed the holdouts and letting it sit for a while. This is "safe for cats" spray cleaner.
I have to be careful what I use around them; no bleach, no pine. I need to get some more, basic, spray cleaner. I'm going to look at work first as I get the discount of course, and that's not hard to take home on the bus. I don't mind if Buddy "catches" me taking home cleaning products.
I do need to redo my bag. It's not going to rain Monday or Tuesday. That means I can take a lot out. I am taking some chewy granola bars everyone loves and my vest, everything in it. I like to have pain pills, a couple of tampons. When I worked with the girl who only used pads I would keep a pad in there for her as her cycles were irregular and she'd occasionally call me from the bathroom. I also keep a box cutter wrapped in a hanky. The box cutter design will cut fingers if you don't wrap it and I like having a hanky anyway. Rubber gloves in case I encounter something awful or nut related. I wear the gloves when I organize grocery every day. I often find a package of opened nuts or cookies with nuts.
If I had trouble breathing just straightening up nuts in a package I can only imagine what touching nuts directly would do to me. So I wear the gloves and I throw them away immediately when I'm done.
Walmart (my store at least) is very good about providing gloves. Anyway that's all bulk but that will stay in my locker when I leave tomorrow.
I have never looked at myself in a mirror when trying on coats. But the coat I have right now is warm and very flattering, I have curves in it. I like it a lot. It also has a very nice, deep, interior pocket that's perfect for my knit hat and something like a wallet. My aunt got it for me last year.
Time to go check on the beans, and my floor.
The floor is almost done.
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