My life...

M., happy to do it.  I also put up a FB request (and will continue every week or so) for "a friend" with your circumstances. 

I think I made a good call yesterday.  Ron and I got up very early and went to Walmart.  While there, I thought about the probable holiday racket I might encounter the next month or so. 

I saw a pair of corkscrew earplugs.  They cost about $2.50, I think.  What the heck, I thought.  Why not? 

I have discovered the silicone ones fall out and get stuck in my hair, with some real pain on removal.  The foam ones pop out, sometimes. 

Yes, I follow the directions. 

So, I got it.  Then, actually.  I got 2 pair in the package.  I also bought some lights for Ron's wheelchair (Christmas, white and colored), and plenty of batteries to run the works. 

We came home, did the Bible Handout, came home.  Ron had been in a pretty awful mood all day, running everything down, moping, negativity, etc. 

It's funny, because I consider that "not bad".  "Bad" is active attacks on me, verbal abuse, yelling. 

Sad. 

I know Ron has depression.  Who wouldn't?  I also know Ron would be helped tremendously by some antidepressants, maybe an SSRI, maybe something else.  They'd be cheap and oh so worth it.  But he refuses to consider medication.  His answer was taking a single Wellbutrin one day, saying "It didn't work" and then concluding no antidepressant would help. 

I know I did a bad, doing that.  I was desperate.  I did tell Doc. 

I also think his drinking would be helped by the addition of an antidepressant.  Once his chemicals start righting, I venture, I hope, he would find more joy in life, and not in a bottle.  Work on building up his faith and his marriage, in that order. 

Right now the bottle is the only thing that makes him happy.  That, and eating. 

So, yesterday, we went out to eat.  For once, I was not queasy.  I didn't have a headache, either. 

So I had a pulled pork, which had a nice amount of nicely smoked meat.  It was very tender and good.  I'd get it again. 

Ron got his usual, a huge brisket plate with double cucumber salad.  He adores cucumber salad, the only vegetable item he consumes. 

We had a rather long wait on our ride, but we made it home. 

I went to bed pretty early, because I wanted to sleep in and get as much sleep as I could while I could.  We are getting into make it or break it season, and I don't think I'll have a lot of leisurely sleep ins, the next month. 

Ron was playing his talking book very loudly.  I asked him to turn it down, and he did. 

However, my music-on-the-weekend neighbor, I think the one who goes to work at 3:30 AM, was playing some music.  It wasn't super loud but it was noticeable. 

I felt a little bad about #6 and the new baby, but then I remembered their usual parties. 

On my part, I'm a very quiet neighbor.  We were the ones with a sloppy yard, but we have a yard guy now.  I stay on my side of the fence.  I very seldom even access the side of my house on the zero property line. 

When the ride comes in the morning, sometimes the drivers (who all seem to be moderately hearing impaired) have the dispatch radios up at a pretty high volume.  When they do that, I ask them to turn it down so we don't disturb #6. 

The Bible says to do good, to those who offend you.  So, I do what I can, when I can, and do my best to make sure I'm the kind of neighbor I would want. 

Even if it's the night after one of their parties.  Especially then. 

So, I just put in the earplugs.  One, people are entitled to a life and music is a part of that.  As long as it's not shaking my walls, or one of those godforsaken mexican polkas, I'm OK with a little background.  Two, I couldn't exactly call the police on them.  It wasn't that loud.  Three, sometimes I have trouble sleeping even when it's quiet.  Four, I could sleep in today. 

The earplugs worked great.  I slept for a while, and when I woke up the noise was gone.  I took out the earplugs (which are an adjustment process) and went back to bed.  I never did get a cat in the bed but slept pretty well anyway. 

When I woke up, Ron was playing loud music on headphones while he slept.  I was about done sleeping anyway. 

I have applied to join a stroke caregiver support group.  Sometimes I need someone else to say "He's not really being an @sshole, it's just the stroke."  Or say, yeah, he's being rude.  Someone who does understand. 

We'll see. 

I reminded myself he has a lot of issues right now.  Ron's a lot like a baby in that I don't want to wake hm up, ever.  I only do that if I have just baked something he likes.  Like I said, eating. 

Eggshells.  Not as bad as it has been in the past, but one day I think I'll look back and go "My life really sucked". 

I got up, shower, God Time.  I thought about making something for Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's, but ran out of energy.  I'll pick up the front room and clean the toilet, instead. 

I'll let you know how it went.  It should be fun. 

Ron wants to mope.  Well, I can't stop him.  Whoever shows up to give me a ride can try to cajole him, if they want.  If he wants to come I'll take care of him.