The wince

Long term readers know I occasionally become upset by "the man who ran over my husband" - henceforth I will call him The Maimer, 'cause he put Ron in a wheelchair. 

Work is hiring.  They have been conducting a lot of interviews lately.  They bring the applicants in the front door and sit them in the hall (step one, I have no idea what happens afterward).  They ran out of chairs, so they took the chairs out of the front breakroom, tended by the other vendor. 

I won't be telling them that.  So, the "regulars" had nowhere to sit.  Every break area has it's regulars.  The Maimer is a regular in the front breakroom, usually. 

As I stocked, I reminded myself I'd see him; to anticipate it, so I could act instead of reacting. 

You can imagine how I feel, seeing him walk around ablebodied. 

It's ironic, because God enabled me to forgive the officer who stole Ron's money, falsified the accident report, lied about a witness, had Ron walking into the street backwards, and when I confronted him on that version of events - blamed me for the accident because Ron traveled alone, as he always did.  I had a lot of issues.

I'm still working on complete neutrality when I see The Maimer.  I have a long way to go.  But generally speaking, I am past the sobbing/wanting to mutilate him stage when I do see him.  Generally.

Generally I battle the impulse to shout at him and tell him he ruined our lives, I hope he's happy driving his nice new truck, etc.  Like I said, I'm working on it.

I reminded myself I would likely see him (especially, as it turns out, the custodians took advantage of the vacant room to wax the floor).  Sure enough, I did.

He carried a cup of our coffee as he left the area.  He paused, looking at Ron in his wheelchair.  Winced.  I turned my head because I was probably glaring at him, and I knew God didn't want that.  I heard him say Hi to Ron and Ron give a cheerful reply.

This is going to sound awful, and like I said I have a lot of work towards forgiveness.  But that wince at seeing Ron in the wheelchair did a lot for me, today.   

After the door closed, I told Ron, who shrugged it off.

"He didn't buy a snack?" Ron asked. 

"No" I replied.  "I was stocking and he knows I'm a little growly."