Use your words

I did have a good night of sleep.  However, it's never a good sign when the headache wakes me up.  It did, around 5.  I had my alarm set for 6.  I took some Excedrin and got up. 

I was too depressed for a shower, and my hair was "acceptable" for Walmart.  I slapped on some extra deodorant and dressed. 

Happily, I did manage my God Time, all while being mugged for cat treats, by Torbie.  She's pretty cute. 

Ron woke up, I made sure he looked OK (because no one points a finger at him, if he looks bad it is always my fault).  Our first ride was late. 

We got to Walmart with about an hour and a half shopping time.  However, my first dose had worn off and my second dose of Excedrin had me pretty wobbly. 

I had wanted to talk to the personnel lady about the Bible handout, but figured I wouldn't present a good image with my hair, and my general "presentation".   Besides, I feel like God wants me to wait and let Him do it all. 

I had a pretty detailed list.  Ron wanted quite a bit for a change, a big jar of peanut butter, 4 pairs of headphones, a box for the headphones, etc.  I got that, and my stuff, unprocessed deli meat, some bread (almost every multigrain bread has rye in it, yuck!), milk, etc. 

I am down 10 pounds from this summer, in part due to heavy labor, in part due to eating better foods, more protein and less junk. 

I also got 2 pair microfiber long underwear leggings.  I'm very happy about them.  Generally my "top half" is plenty warm during cold weather, but my lower half isn't.  A pair of jeans just doesn't do it, when I'm waiting outside on a ride. 

It was nice to see that I fit well within the size parameters, admittedly the largest size, but still good.  My jeans are getting a little loose too. 

For years, I had the very bad habit of squeezing myself into the smaller size the second I could get it zipped - resembling a sausage.  I'd have red marks on my waist when I took the pants off. 

Not a good look. 

So, I'm trying to go the opposite direction, wait until the "old" pants are very baggy and nearly falling off before I size down.  So far I think it's a better look. 

I have plenty to eat all next week.  Deli meat, cheese, and bread.  I even got some precooked bacon - I just warm it up. 

I also got some cleaning supplies, paper plates, plastic spoons, etc.  I try to go disposable if at all possible. 

I've determined I like to do nice things, secretly.  I won't say anything more.  If I get an earth bonus or a God bonus I'd rather wait on the latter.  The Bible is pretty clear if you get accolades for your "good works" on earth, you don't get them in heaven. 

We finished up.  My head was throbbing pretty badly.  I got Ron some food.  He kept offering me french fries.  I can't remember the last time I was happy eating 3 fries, but I didn't dare upset my stomach. 

We waited on one side, but the nail parlor's dryer vent was blowing fabric-softener fragrance at us.  My headache escalated and I fled, dragging a bench to a better area. 

2 people tried to give Ron money.  He was presentable, I guess they wanted to spread some holiday cheer.  He, of course, said no thank you. 

I reminded myself, as bad as I felt, my neighbor was in labor today.  Pretty obvious when I see the freaked out husband loading luggage, and a purse, into his truck.  I should note the date because "we" will have an epic party, a year from now. 

I pray everything goes well for them. 

I saw some people waiting on a cab and it reminded me of the couple I saw about a year ago.  They'd been waiting on a cab.  About the time the cab arrived, a friend of his showed up and offered him a ride.

He rejected the cab ride (remember the cabbie spent his own money on gas, and rejected other trips, to take this one) and got in the other vehicle.  "I'll remember this!" the cab driver said.

Months later, I saw those same people, waiting again with 2 shopping carts bursting with groceries.  They jumped all over our Metrolift, thinking it was their vehicle.  The driver spent 10 minutes telling them it wasn't their ride, and no she didn't have a direct link to Yellow Cab.  [The woman got very nasty when I asked her to move so I could load my groceries.  She even threatened to beat me up, but said she wouldn't "because she was a Christian".  Had she hit me, I wouldn't have hit her back, but I would have filed criminal charges.] 

"We've been waiting for hours!"  the guy whined.  Well, you got a bad reputation and now the cabs won't deal with you.

Happily Ron and I have worked VERY hard at cultivating good relationships with our drivers.  When I saw a cab driver helping the other Metrolift client (if a client is "ambulatory" they may hire a regular cab for a one time trip), I made a point of thanking him and telling him I'd ask God to give him good trips for the day.  

He liked that.  I think a lot of drivers do take short trips and/or Metrolift trips to get some brownie points with God. 

Our ride came up and insisted on parking by the vent with the fabric softener.  I was in serious pain and the guy thought I was mad.  I kept telling him, I'm in pain.  The fragrance is aggravating my headache.  When I, nearly sobbing, begged him to please shut the door, he got it. 

He wanted to pick up another client on the list.  He only told us the name after we consented (he was making his own schedule, we were supposed to go straight because he was an hour late).  It was Leo. 

Leo is the slow guy who struck a driver, about a year ago, because the driver wouldn't go back to his workshop for a lost cell phone.  We were riding in the vehicle at the time, and the slap was very loud.  The driver (now fired) was eating while driving, so he didn't report it.  I am very leery of Leo.  If he'll hit the driver, he'll hit me, or Ron. 

"I think of him like I do pitbulls" I told him.  "You'll probably be fine.  But you might not.  And I don't like to be around people prone to violence." 

The driver said he was "cool" and "Not that bad".  I chose to move my seat.  Leo would have to sit either right next to my groceries, or near the lift.  I opted to move from the lift area over by my groceries. 

Leo, like a lot of "limited" clients, carries around tons of stuff in bags.  I guess it's a security thing.  I didn't want those bags near my food. 

I didn't want someone, with poor impulse control, near my food.  I have had slow clients attempt to get into my merchandise and groceries.  I had 2 big bags of chips sitting on top. 

I made the right decision, because the client got on moaning about being hungry and missing breakfast, taking glances at my chips.  The driver asked Leo if he had food in his bags, and he produced a half-eaten sandwich.  He just had to be told, to eat it. 

Then, horrifyingly, the driver asks about the fiance.  Yes, the slow guy with massive anger and impulse control issues, the violent man, is getting married.  What a terrible idea.  That's going to end in prison - he'll hit his wife one day, charges filed, and into the prison system. 

A lot of the drivers tell me the slow clients can be physically abusive, to the drivers and the other clients.  From what I have seen, the company is far too "nice" to these individuals.  It's a physical danger to innocent people. 

The only time I heard of someone losing his service, an autistic guy was riding in the front seat with a driver, and kept yanking on the steering wheel in traffic.  Ron reported that to the head of the program, as we rode.  The driver verified it.  The guy (eventually at least) lost his service and now the group home has to transport him. 

If more people lost service, or were suspended, I think the group homes and workshops (who are making thousands a month off each client) would focus a little more on anger management skills. 

Ron and I were talking about children raised in poverty and ignorance (I'm talking about "normal" people now).  Why, he wondered, do they turn to crime, laziness, and thuggery?   Why are they so violent? 

Well, I told him, an educated family values education, they read bedtime stories every night, and help with the homework.  An ignorant family watches raunchy sitcoms and refuses to help with the schoolwork - or figures that's someone else's problem. 

An educated family uses time-outs and teaches children to "use their words".  They realize it's important to express emotions, in a healthy way.  Well, we've all seen angry, ignorant, people - they just try to outshout each other, and failing that, resort to violence. 

An educated family understands the value of hard work; an ignorant family wants to milk the system for whatever they can get.  Don't get me wrong, some people are truly in need, but like I told the social worker when she said I could get food stamps (back in 1994) "I have enough to eat".  An educated family learns and uses a budget, an ignorant person doesn't. 

It's not surprising the ignorant grow up to be angry, bitter, ignorant, entitled, and selfish.  They've never been taught anything else. 

Do I have a fix?  Introduce them to God, and maybe get some good budgeting, life skills, and job education.  [shrug]  For now, God wants me handing out Bibles. 

We came home.  I was miserable, but I do have a new policy.  I put everything away when I get home.  It may not seem like a big deal but it is for me. 

I did that, including Ron's 4 TV dinners, the deli meats, etc.  I ate some spicy chips (they help with headaches) and took a nap for a few hours.  Now I'm online. 

I'm waiting to do my nice thing.  I don't want witnesses.  Kind of subverts the whole "anonymous good deed".