Run

I have been sharing some of my trials with Ron online, and it is interesting to see the perspectives.

Most people tell me to leave him, and if I were unsaved, I would, and probably do some damage on my way out. A guy I knew, who is interested, actually tried to tell me (years ago)  I could get away with killing Ron because I am mentally ill!
I found that very alarming, that he really thought I would consider that for even an instant.

God WILL rebuke Ron; I have NO doubt. The issue here is to keep my naturally hurt feelings, and wounded pride from transforming into a haughty, judgemental, spirit. That won't please God.

My job, as I see it, is to take my hurt feelings and shame to God, and to let God console me. To leave it at "Lord, rebuke him". The God who created the universe can certainly avenge my hurt feelings, anger, and indignity.

My job, as I see it, is to ask God what He wants me to do, and go to it, trusting He will give me what's required to do my job. I am well aware my blog is crosslinked to a message board.  [waving at Rabble Rousers]  I'm glad I can provide some entertainment and fodder for discussions.  I am aware you probably think I have drunk the koolaid, gone around the corner, and have the spine of a jellyfish; you probably see my "faith" as the frosting on a very broken cookie. 
 
See, I think the difference between me and an "average" person: the average person is pretty much about pleasing themself.  What will be the best choice for me?  What is the best job for me?   He isn't treating me right.  I need to get out of here; and does so. 
 
I have a very different perspective: What will make God happy?  A good example; getting another job.  I keep getting a huge NO from God on that.  I don't understand why, but my job is obeying God.  I have enough for my needs. 
 
Do I think Ron speaks for God?  Absolutely not!  [laughing]  No way.  I go on my own internal leadings, prayer, and Bible study.  I take my medication as directed because I get a lot of noise in my head, otherwise. 
 
I think the problem is that a lot of people view my current issues as between me and Ron.  They aren't.  Ron's an adjunct.  The problem is between me and God.  I am being treated shamefully.  I take it to God.  God lets me know He has my back, and God WILL repay Ron for what he has done.  My job is to honor my commitment, even if Ron doesn't honor his.  "Love, honor, and cherish", until Ron asks for a divorce or God makes it clear. 
 
The pastor who married us said, as he prayed over the Bible verse, God led him to Hebrews 12:1-3 (HCSB)
 
1 Therefore since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses  surrounding us, let us lay aside every weight and the sin that so easily ensnares us, and run with endurance the race that lies before us, 2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame,  and has sat down at the right hand of God's throne.


Fatherly Discipline


3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, so that you won't grow weary and lose heart.
 
Run.
Don't lose heart. 
Keep my eyes on Jesus. 
HE was mocked and shamed, too. 
Run to Him. 
 
Hebrews 10:30 says "Vengence is mine, I will repay, says the Lord".  He will.