Pill time

I'm pretty groggy right now, so please forgive any incoherence or typos.

I slept pretty well, considering.  I think a dog might have been dumped in our neighborhood, the dog that lives behind us has been rather agitated at night.  Bubba-cat was all cute in the bed with me, so it wasn't him.

I love sleeping with the cat.  Something about the big cuddly lump all warm and soft, just puts me out.  I tend to have better dreams, too.  If I wake up, I can reach over for some quick petting before I go back to sleep.  

Anyway, overslept, caught up on God Time later.  We went to Walmart.  I got a great deal on some clearance "Halloween" candy that appears perfectly everyday; great for handouts.  I got a couple bags' worth.    I noticed they had already started stocking the Christmas candy.

I love to hand out some kind of chocolate, but I can't if the temperatures are above 70 or so, they melt.  I might be able to do it if I weren't on public transit, but whatever I hand out has to survive ambient temperatures.

My pills were just weird.  The phenergan generic only cost $7, so I went ahead and got it.  That's 30 migraines' worth.  God forbid I need it.  It turns out the "prescriber" (a medical resident), wrote ONE month refills, times 3, for my medication.  That means an extra $10 a month.

However, I could use a little help with the budget; and breaking it up into 3 payments could be useful.  I'll make sure to phone in the refill before I need it.

Later, at home, I read the inserts.  Turns out one of my medications doesn't like decongestants.  Whoo!  Good thing to know!  I don't take decongestants, anyway, because they trigger mania.  The rest was all pretty standard.  They had so many pregnancy warnings I was glad Ron's fixed.   If something happens to him, I'm getting fixed.

We came home, later on went to Starbucks.  We got stuck there a while, but it wasn't bad.  I made sure our empty cups were obvious.  About the time I got out my Kindle, the ride arrived.

I'm glad I can do the sample feature for the Kindle.  I had downloaded a sample of a highly-rated zombie book.  I managed to read 5 pages before I gave up.  Ick.  The author made it completely boring.  I am so, so, glad, I didn't buy it.  In the meantime, "Zombiestan" was so good I bought it after reading 2 sample pages (the sample was a lot longer).

I didn't have enough time to make my bank deposit today, I'll have to do it next week (they don't start clearing until the 13th).  After we got home, I took a nap.

I had a profoundly disturbing nightmare, just like I did yesterday.  I may skip the naps for a bit.

I got up right before "Wild Kingdom" next door started playing.  [laugh]  I saw the flying soccer ball a few times, too, along with the father fetching it out of "my" yard.

I was feeling very ugly.  I realized it was pill time.  It was a little early, but it was clearly pill time.   I just felt so hostile and irritated, one of those horrible mixed episodes with a big slap of depression on top.  Yuck.

I had a small pity party for a while, and then had a thought.  We have about 300 million Americans.  About 1% of the population, anywhere, is bipolar (worldwide).  That means, I and 2,999,999 other Americans are suffering from bipolar disorder.  None of us will "recover" - we can just go into remission.  We are all sucking up horrendous side effects, headaches, nausea, fatigue, brain fog.  We are eaten by our own minds, on a regular and ongoing basis.  We endure, and try to keep it from affecting other people.

God knows, I'm sure not alone.  I felt a lot better.

I ate something I liked, took my medication, did my God Time, and by the time I finished I felt a lot better.

3 million.  That's a lot.  We're a very large family.