I hate sharing bad news.
Ron started making noises about getting something "stronger". I thought he was button-pushing (he has accused me of "going buggo" whenever alcohol is mentioned), so I ignored it until he made a reservation to go to the liquor store. Then, as agreed, I called my uncle.
My uncle called Ron and left a message. I'm, in the meantime, in the throes of a horrible migraine. No Chinese food for me.
Ron got all indulgent with me this morning, "Oh, you're so afraid aren't you?" I told him no, I wasn't. I had made an agreement and I kept it. And while on the subject of agreements, what about his agreement not to drink anything stronger than wine? Out came the excuses and justifications.
My favorite was "I have it harder than anyone else in the world" (due to his physical problems) "Therefore, I am ENTITLED to drink." I told him, you have a track record of breaking every promise you made about moderating alcohol intake.
He tried to change the subject, but I didn't let him. I just got up and left the room.
While taking a shower, I resolved to get another job even though he continues to object. He came in the bathroom while I was showering and apologized. Said he had cancelled the trip, and "I'll get fat drinking wine, and that's your fault". I reminded him he could moderate his intake.
I also told him I made a decision, if he drinks anything stronger than wine I will be getting another job in preparation to move out. He acted like that would be so great. AGH.
Now, you'll love this, he is talking about sleeping pills. [rolleyes] I am certain a trained medical professional will see right through him.
5 comments:
More lies from the addict. Please, please, please find another source of income. Stop boxing yourself into this life.
I have no idea what to say..
I wish you well and hope one day he comes around...but h e doesn't seem the least bit interested!
Heidi, the way I see it, when Ron does come around, God gets all the credit.
I can set boundaries, and enforce them, but that in and of itself will not "make" him change. Ron, and God, need to grapple this out ont their own. My job is to stand back, let that happen, and support Ron's HEALTHY decisions. :)
Anonymous, I don't know about you, but I don't throw people out when they get messy. Don't forget, I married Ron, blind, in a wheelchair. I believe Ron is doing his best to respect me, and I will respect him in return, even if, sometimes, it's hard. I would love some prayer, though!
It is not about throwing people out when they get messy it is about standing up for yourself and not taking the garbage he dishes out and him knowing that you are able to leave if he continues to self destruct. He has no right to take you down with him.
Tell me he respects you the next time he calls one of those chat lines. Not getting a job has nothing to do with respect but rather Ron's way of making sure you can't leave.
I will pray for you and Ron.
Heather, I am praying for you ((hug))
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