It's not my job to make him happy

As I walk down my road of life, it's a journey only I can take. I have come to some important conclusions. Today, for instance. Ron was very impatient, ungrateful, negative, and irritable. I found it pretty sad because at work, he had made a point of saying he values me and my contributions.

When he's ugly and impatient, I have some choices to make. Did I respond in kind? Did I choose to take it personally, and polish up my martyr halo? Did I accept "responsibility" for Ron's mood at all? Did I confront him? Did I play "Why me?"

The answer to all of them is NO. A time, not long ago, when you would have gotten every word and inflection. But I've come to realize, what Ron does is what RON does. All that matters is how I'm acting! Am I being a hater, or loving? Positive, or negative? Kind or unkind?

He does plenty of things I don't like, but that's on him. My job is regulating how I react. That's it. How am I reacting? Am I reacting? I also use his "moods" as an opportunity to remind myself how unpleasant it is to be with a negative person, reminding myself not be that person.

So I try to ask myself questions: Is my behavior pleasing to God? Are my thoughts and speech gracious (Psalm 19)? If cursed, am I blessing in return? A good verse for today: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1 Corinthians+4:11-13&version=NIV Corinthians+4:11-13&version=NIV "11To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless. 12We work hard with our own hands. When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; 13when we are slandered, we answer kindly. Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world." Fortunately I don't have it THAT bad!

I Peter 3:8-10
" 8Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."

To mind, this is what makes us Christians DIFFERENT; we act completely contrary to our own human nature. God, in us, can lead us to do amazing things. That's how our faith ought to work.

I haven't done that; it's a lot easier to have a pity party. It's easier to build up resentment. It's not easy to ask God to put His love in my heart when Ron is barking at me and irritable. But the more I ask, the easier it is to ask, and the easier it is to realize that I'm not responsible for Ron's happiness.

The cat brought home a flying roach last night. It woke me up, crawling on my back. I ended up flailing at it and yanking off my nightgown in the middle of the night, half-wondering if it was all just a nasty hallucination. When I did get up, sure enough a huge dying roach on the floor. YUCK. Let's hear it for those Harris Roach Tablets - the last meal!

I took my medication, and today I had hours of fun with "Let's be nauseous and hot-flashy!" - AGH. Horrible sensation, dripping sweat and so queasy.. my only consolation that I have never vomited yet from my medication. Then people kept talking about food around me... made it worse. I didn't say much, but worked on being positive and grateful for the good things in my life.

About an hour ago, I got a roaring attack of the stupids and felt so weak I thought I might fall out of my chair. It's a little better now but I need the nap I'm about to take.

But guess what? I have medication. I can control my moods, instead of them controlling me. People like having me around. Romeo left me alone, and yelled at his wife instead. I have a great cat. Most of the night, I had a great night's sleep. The horrible bug is now dead. I had plenty of time to do my God Time and bag up driver candy. I got all my work finished; and did quite a bit to help Ron. I'm healthy and vibrant, and so are the people I love. We went to Burger King after work. Every ride we had today was straight - uncommonly wonderful. I had great drivers. I have tomorrow off, and $40 in my pocket. So, I called it a good day.

Ron can look at his events, and interpret them how he wants. We do live in America.

It's not my job to make him happy, 24/7. It's my job to love him, which I think I do well.