Friday, August 27, 2010

I wasn't angry about her weight.. but her tripping Ron

I mentioned this in my comments section but bears repeating: the below post, I was mildly annoyed at her until she tripped my husband deliberately. The way she tripped him, he could have fallen 6 feet and landed on his head. I was very angry at her as a result. It took me a while to figure out I don't give a @#$! what she eats, or how much she weighs, but she ACTS in a way that endangers my husband, deliberately, and found it "funny". That, to me, was the ugliest and most objectionable thing about her.

Ron would probably say, she felt very threatened by you. You are young, not-bad-looking, overweight only, intelligent, and obviously happily married. You have a bubbly, vibrant, personality and most people who meet you, like you. You know your purpose in life and that shows. There she is, all alone, living in a senior complex, with a horrible reputation as "The one who breaks things" and "The ugly attitude" (triple confirmed by 3 separate drivers today).

I "Went off" about her weight - IN HERE, when I'm really angry at her reckless endangerment of my husband. She really hoped he WOULD hurt himself, that was very clear to me in her little "grin". Thank God I did catch him.

I really wonder how long she will go around, breaking equipment, until Metrolift tells her "You can't ride anymore".

I hope I CAN be real in here. It may not always be pretty, but I AM fiercely protective of my husband. If someone wants to hurt me, hurting a loved one is a lot more effective than a direct attack on me. When he hurts, I hurt.

Later on that day, Ron and I were riding another big van that picked up a very large lady. Normally I would probably just ignore her unless she spoke to me, but I saw she was very uncomfortable. She had lymphedema and horribly swollen legs. I was amazed she could climb the stairs. We had a great chat until we got the house, I honestly liked her. I cried like a baby when Sharon and Zer died, and they were not models. I loved them, and I still do.

Sometimes I don't always recognize why I am angry, and rant about something unrelated until it hits me. In my case, last night, in bed, I realized I hadn't gotten upset at her until she tried to trip Ron.

Up until that point, I was a little shocked and embarrassed for her. Yes, a little tired of her tirades about how Metrolift was out to get her... blah, blah, but that was just annoying.

4 comments:

Helen said...

Colossians 3:13

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Heather Knits said...

Probably one of the hardest things about Christianity - that verse! It's to EASY to be a hater!

You're right, praying for her isn't all of it, I need to actively get to "I forgive you for trying to hurt my husband." Also work on asking God to put His love in my heart, for everyone.

Heidi said...

I think there is a difference between being a "hater" and getting agitated because someone is being a jerk! sorry but that is how I feel and Heather I totally feel for you in this one ..I would have gone off on her!

we are human beings

Helen said...

Heidi, the most important part of being a Christian is to be pure of heart and of thought. Sometimes we go beyond that - but that does not mean that it is right. Heather has it spot on, taking the negativity that she has allowed to creep into her heart and make that energy into something positive - something that would please God. Like the drugs that keep Heather balanced and able, God is the ultimate tool to keep us on the straight path.

We need to make it our mission to recognize sins and transgressions, but forgive them anyway - this is vital. The bitterness, the agitation - none of that is truly caused by others, it is caused by our own mind - we have allowed it to react in that way.

It is up to each and every one of us to take ownership of that and say - stop! I am not going to let this overwhelm me. I am going to smile, say a good word and remember the tracts that teach us that this is the right and good way. And, do you know what? That response stops the sinners in their tracks. They are usually puzzled and gob smacked. God knows that it will make them re think their actions more that a disapproving stare or sharp words.

God knows what he is doing - that is why he teaches us to act in a Godly way. I strive to be as good as He :)

Go Heather!