He could have gotten wet!

I'm battling a pretty nasty depression. Waking up depressed, skipping workouts, not blogging. It's just very hard to get my mind into a happy place.

Even the cat has noticed. He brought me a lovely grasshopper for breakfast, and just now bolted into the house. Rain's imminent; and he always gets agitated. It's about to rain! He MIGHT have gotten wet! Horrors! Fortunately he was in the garage, now in the house, lying near my feet. He always wants lots of petting and attention when it's about to rain. I suspect it has to do with his first year; spent exclusively outside.

I'm doing what I can to manage: trying to be positive. I told Ron, he has been trying to "cheer me up". I took a double dose of Wellbutrin (approved by doc), and if I didn't have a family history of seizures I probably would have taken a third.

I did manage to get to work and work productively. I had to do some cleanup; absolutely filthy, unglamorous work. I got two deliveries and stocked one; I took out the dumpster. Busy.

After work I we went to Walmart. I got Ron in the kiddie cart and made my bank deposit, then got what he wanted. For some odd reason, Ron gets really upset if I buy generic sodas. He would rather buy me all name brands than discover I bought a 2-liter of store brand. Huh. OK.

I don't want to make him feel like a "bad provider" and made a point of thanking him for being understanding. He does try so hard.

Yeah, it sucks to be me right now. My day off tomorrow sounds like a horrible chore instead of the usual fun. I'm going to make myself go out and do something, not sure what. Maybe I'll get a plate for my weight collection, I could use a 45 pound plate.

I'm also using this as an opportunity to focus on God; He is allowing this attack to sharpen me up and keep me useful. I can't handle this on my own; I have to lean on God. The instant I think I can do ANYTHING on my own power is the minute I become useless to God.

I would rather battle this illness and the brain damage; and remain useful to God. It's not in the Bible but that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

Boy, I'll be strong!