Tuesday

 I went to sleep OK and had a good time at it until about 1?  AM when Spotty came back from an outdoor adventure, with a cicada.  It was making a lot of racket and injured enough it couldn't fly/escape.  I tried to go back to sleep but if you know these bugs they make a lot of noise.  So I had to get up, catch it (!) pin it in the dustpan with my little handbroom, and throw it out the front door, all the while praying Spotty did not bring it back.  AGH.  Then go back to bed.  

Then I had to get up pretty early to get my grocery delivery.  Now it would be really dumb to say much about my employer but I will say getting the delivery on a weekday morning has been working very well for me.  I was emailed "Stephanie" would be bringing my stuff, instead it was a big guy in a pickup.  I didn't care, I had my groceries.  He got a kick out of the bear (I propped the front door to take stuff in the house).  

I did my God Time doing the intercessory prayer and Bible study.  I took my shower before I got my delivery.  I didn't shave my legs and the man didn't scream and run either.  I took a nap for about an hour so that helped a lot.  

So I am pretty content with the day.  Spent some time on the computer as well.  Oh, and for prime day I got some cloth masks from Old Navy as I like their cloth masks.  I got 15 total for about $17 with shipping, seemed like a good deal.  Now I am set for a long while.  I do like wearing a mask at work as you never know what is going to walk in the door and it also helps conceal expressions.  I have a talkative face.  That is not a good thing.  

I did the clothes laundry last night, I also have some bedding that is washed and waiting to dry when the clothes finish, and that is it for laundry.  Biscuit (?) got sick in my bed yesterday.  I have 2 sets of sheets so I am set for times like that.  It would have been awful to have to wash and dry the bedding before I went to bed.  And the sheets I have on the bed now are 100% cotton and very nice, Ron bought them for me back in 2016.  

I think I get paid tomorrow, we will see.  I didn't go crazy on the groceries, but I did get some more collagen.  It is good for joints and growing hair so that sounds good, my nails have been good taking it so I find that promising.  I still have some work on my hair as you can see from the videos but I hope to fill out the top some.  If I can, I will.  

I am not going to lose sleep over it though as virtually every middle aged woman I see (exception: my aunt) has some thinning hair on the top.  It is very common.  And I am taking what I feel to be an appropriate amount of vitamins as well.  

Speaking of I need to do up more in a few days.  I do them 3 weeks at a time.  Makes life a lot easier after a hard day at work just swallow a handful out of my pills of the week vs. fumbling around with all the bottles.  

Oh and I didn't tell you about the delicious pulled pork I had for dinner last night.  Lloyd's brand, it comes frozen and you warm it up.  It is in a BBQ sauce but most of it is meat.  No gristle or fat chunks.  Very tasty.  I will have some for dinner tonight.  I had it delivered from Walmart.  

A Uber eats or pretty much any delivered meal is going to be $25-35.  It is a lot more affordable to get a frozen meal delivered for a few dollars, from the grocery store and eat that.  I have a lot of pot pies for instance (I like beef, and turkey).  Tomorrow when running errands I have another plan as well.  

The Arby's is drive through only and I love Arby's.  So I will drive through with my aunt and buy 4-5 sandwiches.  Freeze a couple, keep a couple in the fridge.  Ron found they freeze well.  I have 2 gift cards so I can do this.  Then that is 4 dinners.  

I am down some weight and I can see it in my midsection so I am pleased.  If I had to have such an awful year at least I can lose some weight out of it.   

I can say this now, the first time I lost weight Ron was very excited for me.  Then I gained it back and every time after that he was cynical, at best, regarding weight loss.  So at least I don't have him doom saying me.  It was very discouraging to hear the negative talk.  

He had gotten a lot better about the negativity at the end.  He would yell at God, tell God he was tired and "come down and fight" etc. type stuff.  But that was directed at God.  Ron had stopped with the "pointing" his anger and frustration at me the last year or two.  I had been pretty vocal about not liking it and said that was a deal breaker.  I didn't have many deal breakers but that was one.  

Some may find it hard to believe I did have boundaries but I had some.  And I was pretty vehement in protecting them.  Another one was "letting" me sleep at night, I didn't get that at all the last week which I think was God's way of showing me it was time to take Ron.  That I had come to the end of my road with him.  If things had been perfect with him walking around the house, not drinking, quiet at night I would have had a much harder time losing him, I think.  But I am not a therapist.  

I am really enjoying my TV today, I really only watch it on my days off which is one reason I am glad I "boxed" the cable, it wasn't worth it to pay $100 a month for watching maybe 8 days a month.  Over the air works much better for me and the signals are good.  I have a window that faces downtown and I put the antenna there.  Good call.  

I finished the clothes and now the sheets are in the dryer.  I also put away the "too big" (2 pair) jeans (oddly enough both black) in the top of my closet they almost fell off yesterday at work.  Can't have that, and I do have some smaller that fit.  I am happy.  

Tshirts are good I have plenty and OK for work as they are all solid.  I have a few polos but those higher up the food chain wear those, I don't need to worry about that.  And challenging as things can get I don't want to move up the ladder, it is not easier, but harder.  Any job is like this.  

Self employed I had more rope but more stress as well.  But I don't want to talk about work so I will stop it there.  

It is early yet so I think I will sit on the couch and rot my brain.  I don't watch a lot of TV so even reruns are new to me.  

Anyway that's it for now.