I was very rude

It's been a rough couple days. 

I have been able to get a nap most days, which is great.  Taking meds as directed, and no headaches either. 

Ron, however, has been horribly depressed, showing all the clinical symptoms.  And drinking.  He really does have dysthymia.  I remember years ago, he was really happy about something, and it scared the hell out of me.  I didn't know what to make of a happy Ron. 

It also brought up bad memories of my birth mother, manic. 

Anxiety is somewhat better but Ron isn't helping.  He's making what I feel are some very poor decisions and he won't listen to me.  He's just in this mental place where it will go well, and if it doesn't, so what. 

I worry about losing the business and the house, finding another place to live with 4 cats, and finding a job I'm qualified to do.  Home care comes to mind, but my aunt mentioned she would worry about caregiver burnout.  Working to help someone, helping someone at home, could be a bit much. 

Vending routes want you to drive, so that's it.  I would never work for the other vendor, assuming they would hire me. 

Anyway, hard times in my head.  I'm divided: do I worry about what may happen, and try to pre-empt big issues.  "Oh, well that didn't work out, I'll go work at the grocery store".  Or do I just float along like Ron, blithely unconcerned with what might happen in the future? 

I have asked God to work on Ron, that's all I can do, but in the meantime I am exhausted.  It doesn't help when he makes little comments, either.  I don't think he's baiting me but it feels like it. 

Now he's done some f-ed up thing to his cell phone.  He had his phone set to forward all calls to me if he doesn't answer.  I HATE that setting. 

He didn't ask me, either. 

I just get to play receptionist, again. 

Anyway, if I try to call him and he doesn't answer, it sends me back to my own voicemail.  It has been doing that every time I call him, now.  He's been trying to figure it out, which really means "Every 3 minutes I'm going to pester you for help". 

I would rather he just let me do a reset, but he thinks it will delete all his numbers.  "Restore factory defaults?"  I don't think so. 

Agh. 

Last night, not only did the neighbors "let" me take a nap, they also "let" me go to bed pretty early.  My mood wasn't great and I kept waking up.  Then I had a horrible allergy attack in the middle of the night because Torbie had joined me.  I wasn't about to kick her out. 

She's my buddy, I tell her. 

Biscuit didn't eat his num-num (canned food) the other day, so I am fasting him on dry food for a few days.  He did try to charm me this morning, climbing into bed and cuddling, purring away. 

I did my God Time later, and enjoyed the attention, one of the better parts of my day.  Torbie left at some point so I went ahead and took my shower. 

Off to work, at 4 AM.  We got there about 4:20.  I didn't have a lot of stocking, or inventory, for that matter.  Tomorrow will be "truck day". 

Our soda delivery came early, so we got that settled fast.  Ron was annoyed they had raised the price of the RC Cola, by $1.50 a case. 

It's still an OK food cost. 

I got the sandwiches and got them stocked, then got the other vendors their sandwiches.  One of the guys asked me to save him (out of their inventory) a couple for him and his cohort.  I did. 

All those sandwiches made me hungry, so I ate and older turkey out of my inventory. 

I went to get some soda for Ron, and encountered a manager type who was having a tantrum.  She wanted the building to have a deli, again.  I told her "It never made any money" and she got ugly.  The people wanting another deli don't give a crap whether we lost money, they just want a tuna sandwich now and then, and to yell at someone when they're having a bad day.  I didn't really press the issue.   I told her "big management must not have wanted one, or it would have been in the plans for the remodel" (just a few years ago).  She started muttering about jacked up and I left, feeling very abused. 

Why would we work 80 hour weeks, just to lose over a thousand dollars a month?  Why?  So you can have a hot dog and complain about the quality of my merchandise? 

There's a reason most restaurants close, and that's because they don't make money.  The break/lunch setup is very rigid, with long dead periods.  It's not conducive to anything other than vending. 

Now, NASA, they can take a break or lunch whenever they want.  No real problem there.  But big issues at our place.  Everything is done on a very strict schedule. 

And, like I said, if the Big Guys had wanted a deli they would have accepted a plan with one in the blueprints.  As it is, they accepted a lunch room plan with a sink, some microwaves, and a wall of vending machines. 

It got better.  On our way out the thieving repairman shoved his way out behind me (I told him I wouldn't let him out, security rules) and then held the door open for anyone else to come or go (BIG security violation) while yelling at me to "get out of the way".  I told him he was breaking security regulations and an alarm was about to go off (true) if he didn't shut that door.  He did, finally. 

I was very rude to him, and I don't care. 

1.  I know for a fact he stole thousands of dollars out of our vending machines, back when he had a key. 

2.  I am nearly certain he is the one who stole Ron's identity last year and tried to steal a $5K freezer from the State program.  Whoever did it had insider knowledge and a great hatred of Ron (why would you steal HIS identity, unless you hated him/us?).  We were contacted before it happened and, as I said, "Tell the fake Ron to go to hell". 

So, a lot of animosity on my part, towards him, and it's mutual.  He knows I would quit the business before I would hire him to work on any of our machines.  Plenty of repairmen out there, too. 

I just wanted to go to bed. 

But no, Ron changed the whole plan for the day and decided we HAD to go to the bank.  He even arranged for someone to pick us up. 

We went home, then to the bank.  It took forever.  Then Ron called a cab to take us home (this is one of the things that bothers me, just because you can afford to do this doesn't mean you should).  Then, finally home. 

I ate some yogurt and chips, then took my meds.  Not very fancy but they do the job.  And probiotics and protein are always a good idea.  Meds are an even better one. 

I took my nap (with Torbie), and did my God Time.  Then I turned on my old computer.  The state database only works with very old versions of Internet Explorer. 

I had a hard time rousting Ron to help me do the report.  He finally "helped" over the phone from the other room.  Yes, his hearing is that bad. 

That's when we figured out the call forwarding thing.  Hopefully it won't take all night to figure this out.