Don't feed the drivers.

I found this one alarming. 

This morning Ron made a big production out of "forgiving" me.  Part of his little speech involved telling me how "crushed" or destroyed, some similar word, he had been.  How it was a "good thing" I was sorry for it (I never apologized) because he would "hate to have to crush you, too". 

WTF????

WHAT THE HELL DID I MARRY? 

I couldn't wait to get out of there.  I was already 90% out the door.  I knew, however, Ron would get angry about the garbage.  I was in the middle of trying to figure that out when he woke up. 

1.  He doesn't want me to take the trash out when he's sleeping, because it "wakes him up".  Fine.  I don't want to wake anyone up. 

2.  He wants me to "clean up" which involves generating trash. 

3.  He gets angry when I "fill up the garbage can and make more work for him".  He is a little OCD in his trash disposal.  He was incredibly upset he couldn't put his booze bottles in the recycle, even though he doesn't care about being "green".  I told him "Why not just throw them in the regular trash?"  That may be a head injury thing. 

Anyway, I was about to take the trash and put it in the garage until I came home, but he woke up so I tossed it.  That's when he hit me with the little nugget, above. 

I didn't even find the words as creepy as the tone of voice, this "I'm so loving" tone that put chills up my back. 

I needed several items, and a haircut.  I realized I could accomplish all of them if I went to the Walmart, which is now only 2 bus rides away.  I fled as soon as I could. 

I took a shoulder back, with an empty mesh backpack inside.  I did want to buy some stuff, not too much, and I figured that would work.  It actually works great.  The backpack folds up very nicely, leaving plenty of room.  I took a couple water bottles and ran out the door. 

I did not want to sit around in that house, him abusive and drinking.  No thanks. 

He probably thought I left because he "ordered" me to, last night.  He is a narcissist. 

I used to get upset at the thought of Ron reading my blog, now I'm not.  I only write the truth.  I only share my experiences, and my views around them.  If he has a problem with that he'll have to live with it. 

I rode the 85 to the end of the line, at the mall.  I had to wait about half an hour on the 86.  That was the worst wait I had all day. 

I boarded the 86, and we rode to the Walmart (eventually).  I had to ride with two, very weird, old white guys.  Both of them clearly delusional and they just gave me the creeps. 

It's funny, because I had plenty of black guys dressed in gang colors, which a white woman would probably find far more disturbing.  Not me. 

I went in and talked to the stylist.  About 45 minutes.  I did my shopping, and got everything, including the timer.  I will see how the lentils do in the rice pot, tonight. 

Speaking of food, I'm having some whole grain shredded wheat with flax seeds on top, for dinner.  Apparently flax helps with hormonal breast issues - I don't have them yet and I hope to prevent them this month. 

One of my drivers had complained of hunger, so I bought a box of granola bars and handed them out to bus drivers (after I "paid" with my card) all the way home.  They were a big hit.  I have to do that again. 

They have signs, no music, no smoking, no drinking, but they don't have a sign saying "Don't feed the drivers". 

I went to the hair place.  Since I had been out in the heat, I had her do a shampoo first.  I'm not going to have someone stick her hands into my sweaty hair!  We did that, and I told her I want to take off a couple of inches, about halfway down my back, use your good judgement. 

I have never had a bad haircut when I said that.  We did the trim and I am very happy with it.  I gave her a good tip.  I am an overtipper, and I am happy to say that.  I plan to go back, when it gets unreasonable, again. 

Ron and I talked off and on.  I had asked him if the boy cats liked beefy things, when I was looking at cat food. 

He seemed pretty reasonable and sober, but the minute I walked in the door he poured himself a huge drink.  Then wondered why I wasn't very chatty. 

So, what did I buy?  Vitamins.  I just did up my pills and I was out of Vitamin A.  I get horrible skin infections, and gingivitis attacks (horrific pain) if I run out.  I also got some E. 

Cat food and some nice bar soap for bathroom hand washing, it's a lot lighter to carry than the liquid, too.  I honestly didn't see a liquid soap that looked interesting. 

I got my timer, some snacks, and some Diet Dr Pepper.  I had a very good time. 

I decided to take 3 buses home rather than cross 1960, which is a very busy road.  I just don't need it, you know? 

I don't need any more drama in my life.  I mean, really? 

I waited a while, but not long, on the next 86.  I caught it over to the "good" stop.  Most people get off the bus and walk over to a shared 86/44 stop.  I'd only do that if I "had" to get a "good" seat.  Like I told the driver "I'm a lazy fat girl.  I don't want to walk any more than I have to!"  She laughed. 

I got off at the shared stop and waited (my secret stop also has plenty of seating due to a retaining wall).  Again, I hardly sat down before the bus came. 

On the way to my third bus, I got a little sick.  While I'm not allergic to almonds, they give me horrific heartburn.  I literally felt like I was having a heart attack.  Happily I carry some pepto chewables in my bus pass wallet. 

I got off, walked over to my 85 bus stop, and sat down.  Just for fun, I texted the bus stop number to the bus company.  They texted me back, informing me my next bus was due in a minute.  Yeah, ri...what? 

And there it was! 

I had a rough ride home due to the heartburn.  I am never eating almonds again.  Ugh. 

I got off at my stop and walked home.  It was hot but not too bad, and I'd hydrated.  I am also careful to take a salt tablet prior to any hot weather exercise, and it really helps (I do this because I take lithium, which depletes my body of salt - talk to your doc). 

I walked in the door, Ron and I chatted a minute, I gave Biscuit (left eyepatch, gray tail) a can of filet mignon.  He and the other cats (except Torbie, who hates wet food) agreed it was pretty good.  I serve it on disposable foam plates, and throw the whole works away when they're done. 

Ron started drinking and went to his room.  I found my rice pot and set it up with the timer (a little learning curve on the timer, there).  Ron started bugging me a little later but I told him I was busy. 

He was shocked. 

I was.  I guess I didn't display the "right attitude" but things are going to come to a head here, one way or another. 

I really need some prayer on this.  At the very least I want to drag him to get some counseling on PROPER ways to handle disappointment and hurt feelings.